The Only String Attached 2

14

BELA

I remember his love,his care,his affection.And sadly I remember his anger,his outrage,his ugly words which were thrown on me.

Every time Mahir touches me with love and affection,I'm giving in.But it suddenly strikes me again,all his actions of that day.

"What should I do to get you out of that Bela?"Mahir asked caressing my cheek with his thumb pad.

"Because I've thrown you in that zone,it's my responsibility to make you feel better",he said.

"I..I don't know..you never spoke to me like that,but that day...",I paused,not wanting to go in that dark past.

"Bela..we should move on.Just tell me how to apologize to you about it.Just don't..don't leave me again..I can't live without you",Mahir said,his eye's moistened.

"How should I tell Mahir?You did the deed,you have to know",I said feeling hurt.

I sat up straight and looked at the lake.He doesn't even know how to make it up?

He should know how to apologize for what he did.

Mahir also sat up straight and looked at me,
"I think this is your problem Bela",he said and I was amused.

"What?"I asked.

"You say you are trying to move on,then next moment you say that you are not able to move on.You are like this only Bela..you yourself are confused",Mahir said getting up.

"But Mahir..what did I say?"I said getting up.

"You..you really don't want to try Bela.You are trying to get away from me?"he said.

"Are you serious Mahir?"I asked in disbelief.

"Yes I'm serious Bela..you are not putting effort's..you don't want me",he said walking away from me.

"Mahir....Mahir",I shouted walking behind him.

He is not seeing my efforts?

"Mahir..listen to me",I said helding his hand and made him look at me.

"Mahir..you really think that I'm not putting any effort on us?"I asked.

Just few more steps and we will be back in the fair,and right now Mahir is seething with anger.

"It's showing Bela..just tell me..you want to..you want to get away from me right?"Mahir asked.

"This is your fucking problem Mahir..not mine",I yelled.

"Mahir..healing is not an overnight process.It takes time.Sometimes you feel like you are finally over something and happy again,and the wound will reopen",I said.

"It's not like I'm trying to run away from you..why will I run away from you?Tell me?"I yelled clutching his collar,and stepping close to him.

"I am not giving up Mahir..I am not getting discouraged.I am taking one step at a time each day,trying to be in a better place mentally,each day",I said,hot tears flowing from my eye's.

"You are mentally prepared that you will not get over it Bela",Mahir said removing my hands from his jacket's collar.

This is his problem,there are no limits for his anger.

There are no limits for his love and anger!

He looked at me angrily and walked away into the fair,
"Mahirr....",I shouted standing in the same place.

I cried at what just happened.He is spoiling it,as always.

"There's..not even a single ounce of peace for me",I cried wiping my tears.