September 15, 2018 06:14
A Year Ago
it's september fifteenth. last year on this day, i would've woken up at 6:39, my heart beating almost too fast, and taken a shower equally as quick. i would've gotten up so early, even though my school started at 9, just so i could send a morning text to my boyfriend before he woke up.
we would've been together for a few days over a month at this point. i still would've been too afraid to send ugly pictures and almost too afraid to kiss him. i would've held his hand and watched several movies with him at this point, but not much more.
i would've sat with him at lunch that day and leaned on him, traced his fingers, done whatever just to have contact. he was real, he was there. he loved me and i knew it. i would've been bursting with happiness.
i would've hugged him and kissed his cheek before running to my bus, a little sad that i had to leave but still happy overall. i would've gone home and called him, and then fallen asleep with a smile on my face.
but it's not last year. it's today. and i woke up at 5:00 unable to fall back asleep. i woke up, my face wet and heart clenching. i still woke up before him, but not because i wanted to send a message. i woke up because i can't sleep anymore.
i didn't fall asleep with a smile on my face yesterday; i fell asleep wanting to never wake up again.
YOU ARE READING
Just My Luck
Non-FictionMany people sit down to talk about their hobbies or interests. The only things occupying my mind are memories. Most of them aren't even pleasant. Here are the ones that haven't been entirely forgotten. Some are more vivid than others. ... I will be...
