Where the Hellebores Bloom

Are you ready?

The medicine doesn't act fast enough and my mind won't stop freaking out. I want to change into something more comfortable to take my mind off things, so I walk over to the closet, just trying to think about something else besides how angry I'm at Jasper.

Alice got me this white sweater and pink shorts set and has been pestering me to wear it even though it is winter. She put it, yet again, right on top of the folded clothes, hoping I would wear it. Well, today is the day.

Looking at the door, I try to imagine what Jasper is telling everyone downstairs. He wanted to talk to me alone, not to protect my privacy, but to isolate me and scare me into talking. I wonder how he managed to make me spill the beans. I can still see the marks of my nails on my palm. He'll make me look like a liar. I feel humiliated imagining how people will react to his words. I'm not a liar, I just needed more time, but Jasper pressuring me into talking and my reaction to his questions will be enough for people to doubt me.

I wonder what Esme will say. I'm an idiot. I should've told her everything right away. Now, all cards are on the table. I laugh a bit. A painting and a voice, sure, all cards. The anger in me is boiling over. If I weren't sure I'm not innocent, I would've probably lashed out at him. The problem is, I am hiding things, so I can only hold this anger in.

I grab the box from my closet, look at the presents I practically finished now and put the new items I bought inside. Is there even a point? They might want me out of here by sunset for lying. I guess he was just protecting his family. Everyone, including Carlisle, acted like they couldn't question me about anything or were trying to avoid making me nervous. All this care made me soft. When Jasper did the right thing and put me against the wall, I still hoped Esme would swoop in and stop him, but she didn't. I was alone and chose to lie because....

A knock on the door distracts me. I held my breath, waiting to hear Esme's voice, but it was Seth who spoke.

—Can I come in? I think for a moment. He just heard all of those things from Jasper. Is he here to judge me or to talk? As soon as the thought pops into my head, I discard it immediately. There is no chance Seth is here to judge or question me. I tell him to come in.

I'm standing in front of my closet, eyes on the door and with the box of presents by my feet. He looks a bit surprised to see me just standing there and looks away, the door closing behind him.

—Are you all right? It feels like we are back to the day I told him why I wanted to stay here. —You didn't say a word when I called you.

I stare at him, waiting for him to raise his head. When our eyes meet, I observe his, looking for any anger or resentment for me, but there is none. In his eyes, I only see him.

—Do I have to talk about it?

—No. I was just... curious. You looked strange when you left.

—I'm fine. I have to finish this. I look down at the box.

—Sure. I'll give you a hand. He grabs the box and puts it on the sofa. The view from the window is depressing as always and brings back too many thoughts to my head I rather avoid looking at.

—Let's sit on the bed. I say, sitting by the headboard. This way, I can stare at the empty wall or just the curtains on the bed and keep my mind clearer.

—Ahm... sure. He says, bringing back the box and sitting in front of me. I roll the line on his hands like the last time and work on Esme's scarf.

I'm almost finished now, so it just needs some adjustments and the final decorations I bought. I'm going to sew a small flower next to her name, but I'll do it when I'm alone. When I finish the adjustments, the silence feels unjustifiable.