Nothing To Prove

5 Deal or No Deal?

Samantha

It'd been a week since my spontaneous, earth-shattering, sexy hot make out with Ashton. And boy, did I wish to rip my head off and throw it in the ocean to forget it ever happened.

STUPID. STUPID. STUPIDO. I wish I knew how to say it in every language just to get it out of my system. I wish my body would twist like a towel and squeeze every feeling out of that night. Ugh.

For once in my life I wanted to be bold. To be that girl. The ones with the moves? Ha. God was like no, you imbecile. Go back to your blanket and Fruits Basket, you dumb fuck.

God probably wouldn't say that, but he was definitely mocking me from up there.

The only remedy to get that night off my mind was ironically facing the bigger disaster. Stacy wanted me out. So I lingered at Starbucks every day after work to avoid running into her. She didn't even care that Kevin's roommate never responded to any of my calls or messages.

At least Kevin was nice. He suggested I join their engagement party in Malibu on Saturday and mingle with their influencer friends to see if one of them was looking for a roommate.

I had come prepared. In the influencer world, aesthetics were like a resume. So I was wearing a two hundred dollar summer dress. It was mint green with white flowers all over it, which matched the hair clip I'd pinned behind my ear.

Stacy had made an arrangement with Malibu Safari to get a free tour in exchange for her guests to promote the business. I didn't have an impressive following to make a difference, but I'd be lucky to make friends with one of them. I just needed a chance.

"Your tag's showing," Stacy pointed out, climbing into the open-top land rover.

Crap. I felt the sharp edge of the price tag over my shoulder and tucked it back into the dress. Hopefully no one saw that...

I slumped into the last seat, and tried not to feel like a loner on a high school field trip, but that's exactly what it felt like. Everyone around me settled into a clique, catching up on what they've been up to like long-time friends. My hands itched to toy with the bunny in my purse.

The tour-guide cheered into the microphone and we rolled through the hills to meet the exotic animals. Everyone's selfie-sticks wobbled, but they stayed unbothered. How were they so natural? Each one spoke like a talk show host, exciting their followers. I tried to blend in and filmed a video of myself too, but it was awful.

"Sam! How's the mingling going?" Kevin twisted in his seat half an hour later, his forehead beaded with sweat. "Any luck yet with the roommate hunt?"

"No?" I looked left and right without moving my head. "No one's talking to each other."

"Make the first move, don't be shy? You gotta show a little more confidence."

Oh, that was so helpful. Immediately, I stopped feeling insecure and became Super Woman.

"Rafaaa?" Stacy called out to the blonde laughing with her tomboy friends. "Hey, Rafaaa? Hey. Do you need an extra roommate?"

"No? Not at all." She scowled.

What was I, Stacy's unwanted pet put up for adoption? It was beyond humiliating to be this powerless. The least I could do was save a sliver of my dignity and speak for myself.

"What kind of content do you make?" I asked the girl sitting next to me. She was poking her cheek with a kissy face, holding a Hello Kitty phone case in one hand.

"Who? Me?" Her eyes crinkled with a smile. "Oh. I do everything related to boba drinks."

She was nice. Maybe she could like me.