Captain's Cause

Chapter 10- Our First Christmas

*You head up to the Cabin, you've never been and Steve is so excited to show it to you.*

Y/N- Is this yours?

Steve- yeah, kinda

Y/N- It's so pretty especially in the snow!

Steve- thanks *He smiles and leans over and kisses you*

*You get inside and settled*

Y/N- 2 Full beds?? Are we sleeping separately while we are here?? *You tease*

Steve- No, not at all, I just want to be really really close to you. *He kisses your neck and you giggle.* Come on, let's get dinner started and then we can put on a movie. *You head to the kitchen and start on dinner. Steve makes the chicken while you cook everything else. You sit and watch It's a Wonderful Life and cry like a baby. You then clean up from dinner and sit by the fire, Steve wraps you in his arms*

Y/N- This is nice, the quiet and the snow. It's a nice break from our crazy life.

Steve- Yeah, it is. *Steve looks down at you and kisses you. Steve watches the light of the fire shine on your face, a thought slips in his mind. He loves you. It scares him because he hasn't felt this way since Peggy, he thought he felt something for Nat but at this point her isn't sure what it was but he does know that he loves you.* Hey Y/N? *He looks down at you and sees that you've fallen asleep. He smiles and kisses your head. He whispers* I love you, Y/N.

*You hear what he said but you're not sure how you feel about it so you stay still and fall back asleep. You wake up a little later, Steve and you get ready for bed. You snuggle up in bed and fall back asleep. You dream about Bucky.*

***Dream***

*You stand on the edge of a mountain and Bucky walks up beside you.*

Bucky- what are you afraid of?

Y/N- Falling, getting hurt. *You look at him and he disappears, you turn back around and he is back, when you look he is gone, when you look away he returns.* Why can't I see you bucky?? *You start to cry* I need to look in your eyes, please?! *He whispers in your ear*

Bucky- I know baby, *He kisses your cheek* but I'm not what you need right now, Steve is. We will have our time again, I promise. *You cry* now tell me, what are you afraid of?

Y/N- Losing another person I love, I won't survive it again, I can't. *He wraps his arms around you and kisses your head. He whispers in your ear.*

Bucky- you are stronger than you realize, It may hurt but it will be worth it, I promise. *You fall to the ground as Bucky holds you.*

Y/N- I miss you, how can I love someone who's not you? *Bucky rubs your back*

Bucky- trust me, you are capable of so much love y/n. just jump, he won't let you fall, he's not me. *He kisses you and you sob.*

Y/N- I know, believe me I know.

Bucky- He loves you too y/n, let yourself be happy, it's okay.

***Dream ends***

*You wake up and look up at Steve. He was dreaming and he woke up a little after you, he sees you and he chuckles.*

Steve- Were you staring at me??

Y/N- No, I was admiring you. *Steve smiles and kisses you, he looks over your shoulder and sees its snowing. In the stillness and quietness of this moment Steve looks at you and he fill so much love for you, he has to tell you.*

Steve- Y/N, I love you. *Your heart skips and your eyes fill with tears. You pull him into a kiss*

Y/N- I love you too Steve. I know these last few months have been hard and I know there are a lot of feelings I have to work through, but I do love you. *You cry*

Steve- don't cry y/n *He holds you and its like Bucky was talking to him from beyond.* I feel like I should tell you that its okay to still love him. it's not wrong for you to love me and still love Bucky. I understand- *You kiss him and whisper against his lips.*

Y/N- Thank you thank you thank you. *Steve nods and smiles.*

Steve- also Merry Christmas, Y/N.

Y/N- Merry Christmas Stevie.

*He holds you tight till your growling stomach breaks the silence. He laughs and pulls you from bed.*

Steve- Lets make some Christmas pancakes, huh?! *You nod and kiss him*

*You spend the day eating and watching movies, you play in the snow and take a warm bath together that turns into an heated make out session that then turns into steamy shower sex. You two head to bed, satisfied and happy. You head home in the morning. As you drive down the snowy mountain roads you look at Steve and smile, you take his hand.*

Y/N- I love you, Stevie

Steve- I love you too, Y/N *He kisses your hand and holds all the way home.*