Sabır (Patience) - Kurulus Osman

Chapter 59

A ✨shong✨

"Please," Konur croaked to Beys that stared down at him on the rim of tears. "Goktug," he struggled to speak, ignoring the ushering of Gunduz Bey. "Ceyda...tell them...tell them not to worry...it wasn't their fault. Tell them...I love them. I loved her. T-too much." 

Dundar squeezed his eyes shut in grief, and Gunduz dropped a tear as he caressed the man he considered a little brother's hand, seeming so small now in his. "You will tell them yourself, kardesim. I promise you. Ceyda-Ceyda will be here any minute now. Goktug and Osman Bey will bring her back. Please, you have to...you have to hold on." 

Konur blinked slowly as his sky eyes met with the ceiling of the hut. He wanted to see Ceyda again. He ached to trace her every feature and squeeze her delicate hand to reassure her that everything would be alright. That she would be alright. And that she should move on for the both of them. He knew that what he had with her wasn't true love. It was a mix of force, jealousy, resentment, and pity with just a spark of love. He wanted her to experience the true and entire feeling of love. And knew that could not be with him. "Tell her I want her to move on..." he gasped, the pain in his abdomen spreading to the rest of his body as if it were a shadow that darkened everything it fell upon. "Tell her I forgive her, and that I ask for her blessing... if she could ever give it to me." 

Gunduz Bey sniffed and glanced at his uncle who caressed Konur's other hand, shaking his head at the tragedy he was witnessing, unable to imagine Ceyda's reaction, only hoping against hope his nephew and Alps would bring her back to the tribe in time. 

"Ceyda," Konur breathed, her image forming in his mind as clear as crystal. He smiled softly at the memories of her laughing, how her eyes sparkled, how she wasn't afraid of laughing loudly, and how there was always a touch of gracefulness in it no matter how wild it was. He remembered her soft yet sharp gaze that seemed as if she was seeing right through him in every conversation. He remembered her nearly black eyes that entranced him no matter how happy or angry he was. He remembered her cheerful words and spirit yet terrible, terrible jokes that would still always lift his mood. He remembered how she would always jump into action without a second thought and the number of times he had to be the brain in their missions together. He remembered their light arguments that would be forgotten within a few minutes and their deep conversations that they would dismiss and laugh over after a few seconds. He remembered the number of times she wrapped and took care of his wounds, always muttering insults light-heartedly as he laughed, and how he looked over her wounds, a sheepish expression on her face while he muttered. All he could do was remember.  

Because he would be gone soon.  

And so would she. 

Their once unbreakable bond, their once inseparable grasp, now broken, now separate. They would go their own ways now; they would be apart for what would seem like forever now. Their greatest wishes and dreams remained only what they were, and nothing more. 

--- 

Ceyda eyed Goktug suspiciously, wondering why he was so pale, why his bright eyes were filled with fear and guilt. "What?" she whispered after he told her to go for the second time.  

"We...could not be, Ceyda," Goktug started, his voice merely a whisper as the memories they made over the past months enveloped him. "Lakin, know that I want you to be happy. I want you to be safe. And that can only happen with my brother. You have to go to him. You have to go back to him." Goktug glanced around, and when he was certain they were alone, he led a confused Ceyda out of the fortress through a secret side exit without attracting unwanted attention.