Solivagency - Empires SMP

XXVI

A/N Lol so that happened *throws my phone out a window screaming*

Please excuse the short chapter I'm still ❇️🎶✨dead inside❇️🎶✨

Joel was not cold.

No. He was not cold at all. Lies and slander. He was simply wrapped in three layers, multiple blankets, and curled up next to his big strong wife. Why would he be cold? Being cold was stupid. He was a strong independent malewife. He could handle some chilly breezes.

The only thing that had happened was that he was hit in the head with some ice. Ice didn't make you cold hours after it hit you, because that would be magic and magic wasn't real. Magicians and wizards were just really good at the sleight of hand. He'd seen Gem piece of kelp into a crystal, all she did was rename it on an anvil.

So no he wasn't cold. Big man Joel was not cold. He was cool. He had the power of Jeremyism and terracotta on his side. What more could he need?

Another blanket would be needed- sike. Not really because he wasn't cold, lol.

Right.

Right?

...maybe he was a little bit cold.

"Are you sure you're okay, Joel?" Lizzie asked, tilting her head down to look at him in concern.

He nodded. No he didn't shiver, again, lies and slander. In response, she moved her hand to feel his forehead. It was a pretty big hand, probably double the size of his face because that was how incredibly cool his wife was, but she frowned down at him.

"You feel cold." Lizzie told him, wrapping her arms around him tighter. Joel opened his mouth to argue, but a sudden burst of shuddering coaxed itself out from his body and he was unable to speak. His wife curled up around him, practically holding him like an oversized teddy bear, and nuzzled her face into his hair. "Don't worry, I'll make sure you're warm."

The cold didn't exactly go away, but his wife was awesome and took the edge off it.

God, how did anyone stand cold? How did Scott handle the cold?

He promptly remembered that Scott had kidnapped and possibly killed Xornoth, and Joel sourly wished that he was cold right now. It wouldn't even do anything - wishes and magic weren't true - but the idea of the almighty King of Rivendell chattering his teeth like a cartoon character was entertaining.

Oh yeah. Xornoth. Could fire demons survive cold? Logic said no, but he didn't believe in that balloony, so they were okay. From the cold. Joel didn't know if they were okay from Scott-

If he was real-

Yes, he was real, right? Joel frowned into Lizzie's arm.

Or maybe it was a prank-

Lizzie told him it wasn't a prank. And Lizzie wouldn't lie to him like that. So he was real.

Also Jimmy had ran off to get laid with him or something, which wouldn't happen if he wasn't real and hmm, he was seeing some similarities between them and  what little he knew of the jornoth fiasco. But hey, good for him.

Who was him?

Shut up, Joel told himself.

A hand tangled itself in his hair, combing through the strands with careful gentleness despite its size. Joel melted further into Lizzie's hold, narrowly avoiding another shiver.

"You okay there, babe?" She whispered into his ear. Joel nodded despite the cold, holding the blankets tighter around himself. It was like a shield, but he didn't need a shield when he was with Lizzie because Lizzie would protect him.