Lumity oneshots✨

💕Tummy ache💕

TW// mentions of eating disorders, body dysmorphia

Amity planned such a beautiful date for us. She always looks her best and I know she doesn't hold back, she said to dress up but I don't have much. The fanciest thing I own it a button up shirt and some black jeans. I decided that's what I'll go with.
I slid my jeans on and buttoned up my shirt. I posed for the mirror, trying to feel good about myself but I couldn't shake the elephant in the room. The elephant is me.
I realized how noticeable my stomach was in this shirt and in these jeans. It made me look huge..? I know I'm not "skinny" but I'm not particularly "fat" either. My stomach is just bigger? It's not flat. I guess I eat a lot when I'm stressed, or bored...  then it hit me.
"Am I using binge eating as a coping mechanism..?"
I mumbled to myself as I stood sideways and looked at myself.
"What was that?"
I heard Amity's voice as she entered my room with a smile on her face.
She was wearing a gorgeous navy blue satin dress with a silver belt and white flats. She looked so pretty all the damn time...
"Oh uh... can I get your opinion on something?"
I asked as I crossed my arms over my stomach nervously, feeling insecure seeing how amazing my girlfriend looked.
"Anything!"
Amity smiled and walked closer to me, standing by my side.
"Do you think my stomach has gotten... bigger?"
I removed my hands and showed her my stomach.
"Its probably just muscle! You do a lot of working, but it's not unattractive if that's what your asking."
Amity smiled and put her hands around my waist.
"Yeah, I just feel like I've been eating a lot lately, and I can't really stop? It calms me down."
I could feel my eyes welling up with tears with the fear that my all beautiful girlfriend would be disgusted by me.
"Luz. It's normal for teens to over eat a little bit, it's all puberty really. But, if you think it's more severe, you're not alone."
Amity half smiled and shrugged.
"I don't know I just feel so ugly while you're gorgeous in everything and you're just... ugh I don't know never mind me."
I shook my head and removed her hands, scared she may feel how much larger my torso was in comparison to hers.
"Hey. Listen Luz, I know what you're going though."
"How?"
I turned around, a tear streaking down my face.
"Last year, before you showed up, I was at my worst place mentally. I stopped eating and craved a sense of control, so not eating was my way of gaining control, until I lost control."
Amity admitted to me, her eyes also welling with tears now.
"Oh Amity, I'm so sorry, I had no clue."
I walked back to her and took her hands.
"It's okay! Because you showed up and helped me break those habits, I really found myself once I got to know you."
Amity smiled and sniffled back tears.
"But, this isn't about me, you look so good in that outfit and your stomach is an essential part of your body. Don't hate it the way I did, because it's beautiful. Now, why do you think you eat as a coping mechanism? If you're comfortable talking about it."
I looked at her deeply, then took a deep breath, ready to tell her.
"It's really hard, being on the run, fighting the emperors goons everyday, hunting bounties, wondering how the hell I'm getting back home, guilty because I did all of those to my mom and now she will probably never trust me again."
Amity smiled again and kissed my cheek.
"You're carrying so much on your shoulders Luz, you need to calm down and take some time for yourself. You need time to focus on you every once in a while."

"You're the best Amity, really."
She really knew exactly how to make me feel better. What's better is that she's right, my stomach isn't going away, and I should be proud of it.
But I think I'll let Eda know I'll be taking a break from... anything for a while now.

This took me like 15 minutes to write so... sorry if it sucks I guess LMAO

Anyways I wrote this just because I thought it was really interesting how I struggle with binge eating, and my girlfriend struggles with under eating so i thought I'd put it out there that regardless of your size, you're loved and beautiful/handsome/attractive etc.

<3