WHEN WE SHINE.

chapter twenty.

"Why are you here?" I asked.

A small shrug.

"If there's no reason for you to show up, I recommend you to leave." I said, a note to myself to pat me on the back because this might be the first time I told someone something so cruel.

"Oceana." Valerio used that voice, a warning voice. I didn't know why he was siding with Nicolas, he was on the wrong here, not me!

Nicolas kept eye contact with me, and I felt a little weak. Too small for him, like a mouse. "I wanted to apologize."

"I wasn't the one who got punched."

It felt so intense in this room, this vibe he's giving me is quite intense. I bit my lip. He inhaled.

"I punched your friend, so I'm sorry for punching him." He rolled his eyes, very sarcastic indeed.

"You're not sorry." I whispered.

"I'm outta here. See you, farfallina." Valerio said, smiling at us. "I'm one call away, if you need anything." He eyed Nicolas, "I'm gonna bet you won't need anything from me now that he's here."

I hissed at him, he laughed at me and left Nicolas and I alone in the kitchen.

"Fine, I don't feel sorry. He deserved it." Nicolas frowned.

"No, he didn't." I said.

"Yes, he did. I told him to protect you, not befriend you. There's a difference." He said, bitterness all over his face.

"You've been gone for eight months, Nicolas. They were more than bodyguards to us, they were friends." I confessed.

The four of them became a big part of my life, especially Valerio. They might not know it, but I'm really glad that it was them who was assigned to us. Even though Denim barely spoke, we still had our moments together.

"I got busy, okay?" He spoke, a little rough for me to hear.

I looked down, feeling pissed. One call can't ruin whatever he was doing there. One call can fix things up.

It doesn't make sense, none of it does. Bodyguards, business meetings, a boss, Boston, that big mansion, their fake names, and Ellie's marriage. Nothing make sense. What is he? Who is he? What the hell does he do?

"Who are you?" I asked, looking up at him again. Seeing him here in my small kitchen makes it weird because he fits perfectly.

"Nicolas?" he said, questioning himself a little.

I shook my head, I don't know what kind of answer I want, but I know it's not this.

"Who are you, really?" I tried again.

Now it was his turn to shake his head, a laugh leaving his mouth. This wasn't the laugh I used to hear, no. This was different.

He was nervous.

What was Nicolas hiding? Is there something in him that makes him... him?

"Leave." I rasped.

He straightened, and then he inhaled. "Did I do anything wrong?"

Did he do anything wrong? I have no idea. I don't even know why I want him to leave. Was it because I'm scared of finding out who he is? What he does? Was I scared to find out something I never expected?

"No. I'm sorry. I just..." I trailed off, closing my eyes. This is exhausting. I shook my head, rubbing my eyes. I'm probably just sleepy. "Sorry."

I heard Nicolas move closer to me, his fingers touching my chin. I opened my eyes, he was too close, way closer than I expected. He studied me. His eyes traveled to my own, and then my nose, stopping at my lips. 

He grinned. "You waited for me, piccolina?" 

I looked away, but he managed to hold my chin tightly. I didn't wait for him. He shouldn't be too cocky about it. 

"No." 

His grin widened. God, he thinks I actually did. 

Well...maybe. But that doesn't mean he should be proud about it. Eight months was still long, and the feelings I had for him was gone, over, nada. 

My heart doesn't approve. 

There's the butterflies again, that feeling. The one I only have when he's around. The one I can't seem to remove from my system. What is this feeling? I wanted to puke it all out. 

"Your eyes tell me something different, piccolina." He whispered. "It tells me everything, and I'm going to learn each one of them."

"You could've called. Messages. Told Valerio to inform me that you were okay." I said. 

He shrugged. "I was being careful. For your sake, and my fucking mind."

"What's wrong with your mind?" I asked. Being careful over what? 

"You're always in it."

I glared at him. Was he actually joking? I was being serious. I wanted a conversation, a matured one. And he's doing this right now?

I barely know this man in front of me, but why does my heart beat crazy when he's around? It won't be long until I figure him out, until I know who he is or what he does. For now, the only problem I need to fix is how I can stop my heart from beating loudly when he's around. 

"Come with me, Oceana. Be with me for a week, and then I'll let you go." He touched my lips softly, a groan leaving his mouth. "I promise, I'll let you go." he whispered, more a plea than a promise. 

I looked closely at him, searching for emotions, anything. 

Nicolas was here, in front of me. This is not some dream, he is actually here. So near, so soft, so cold. 

A week, just with him. It sounds stupid, but I needed it.

Sometimes, being scared is a good idea, it helps you make decisions, but what happens if the consequence is as bad as being scared? I tell myself to trust my woman instinct, the way Valerio trusted his. 

My instinct is telling me to say yes. To let go. 

The man in front of me can be trusted. 

"Okay." 

He can be trusted... right?