Short Stories

21. The Fern and the Knight

Prompt: Person A and Person B volunteer for a musical/broadway/play. Person A is a knight while Person B is a fern. In the play, Person A has to kiss the princess. Person B becomes very, very jealous. Decide what happens on opening night.

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Mike leaned in—pretty stiffly too, one could see—to kiss the princess who was just saved from the bandits. The band was playing a slow ending tune and he was a hair's breadth away from the princess lips when—

"YeOwUoWoUoUouOooOOOooOOOO."

A yodeling fern entered the scene. The music in the background halted to a stop. Sean, the violenist, peaked from behind the curtain to see who he had to kill that evening.

It was the fern. 

Sam.

Mike cleared his throat, giving the fern—uh, Sam—a pointed look.

Get back in your pot, it said.

Sam returned the look back to Mike and stomped over to the princess and snatched the microphone from her hand.

"It was going to be a happily ever after for the princess," Sam said in the mic as the audience stared at her, dumbfounded.

Since when did ferns start to talk?

Puh-lease. Knights and princesses don't sing during their quests or when they are kidnapped. And since when did pirates with plastic swords and knights in aluminium armour become a real thing, huh? This is the 21st century, for crying out loud! In an era where digital, emotional and psychological attacks are more used than scraps of metals (or plastics; they cause pollution).

So a talking fern should hardly be a problem, Sam decided.

"But," she continued, "she didn't know that her knight in a shiny aluminium armour was infact..."

Sam knocked out Mike's helmet completely off his head and pushed a pair of  glasses on his nose. "A nerd!"

The audience gasped. A nerd as a knight? Impossible! They were about to demand for a jock when Sam waved her leaves at them.

"And not just any nerd. He was a botanical nerd. He came to the Toothnail mountain to find a magical plant that would cure lycanthropy!"

The audience gasped again. This time interested, not offended.

"And guess which plant he was looking for?"

People looked at each other, trying to decipher the answer off each others' faces.

"Come on, people. It's not that hard! The plant is right in front of you!"

"The fern!" they all exclaimed as one."The fern!" they chanted.

"Yes! I am the magical fern he was looking for!" Sam turned around to find the canon couple staring at her, still in shock.

"Get the fern! Get the fern! Get the fern!" Sam started chanting and the audience soon took the cue, chanting behind her.

"GET THE FERN! GET THE FERN!"

The band took it as a hint and pitched into their roles, playing a tense sound that seemed to convey Mike's indecision.

Princess or fern?

"GET THE FERN! GET THE FERN! GET THE FERN!"

The princess grabbed Mike's arm, desperate to keep him. "It's just a plant!" she screamed to him over the crowds' wild shouts.

But what Sam said was true, Mike had to agree. Mike did like botany.

Sam opened her arms wide, grinning at him.

And Sam was his crush, so why not? This play was already off the script. Why not, indeed?

Mike shook his arm out of the princess grasp and went willingly into Sam's.

He didn't kiss the fern. She was too leafy and pointy for it. He hugged her. And the crowd and went nuts.

"WE GOT A PLANT-LOVER!"

"AN ECO-FRIENDLY CHAP!"

"WE LOVE THE KNIGHT! WE LOVE THE KNIGHT! WE LOVE THE KNIGHT!"

And then somehow the chant changed into: "FERNIGHT! FERNIGHT! FERNIGHT! FERNIGHT!"

"Are they actually shipping me with a plant?" Mike whispered into the fern's leafy shoulder.

"Nothing wrong with that," Sam replied, hugging him back. He could hear her grin through all the chaos.

The band was playing a triumphant tune and their music teacher was shedding tears of joy at the corner of the theatre. 

The princess was crying too, but Mike doubted it was a happy cry.

He would have felt bad for her if she weren't throwing him a furious look.

This was bad. Very bad. Maybe Sam would help him?

"You're on your own," Sam whispered to him, as if she had read his mind.

Mike's face paled and his green eyes widened. This wasn't fair.

It wasn't fair at all.

But what could he do? The script didn't tell him that a fern could yodel and convince the crowd. So it definitely wasn't telling him how to save himself from the girlfriend.

And the curtain fell gracefully on Mike's doubts. Hiding it, but it was there all along.

oOoOoOo 27 January, 2022 OoOoOo

I got the prompt from -ArthurKirkland's book [IMAGINE YOUR OTP]. And the moment I read it, Sam and Mike popped up in my head. So here's the short story written in under half an hour. It's 11:30 PM now and—yawn—and I don't know if the story is good, but I am publishing it because it made me smile. Man, Sam is one loud girl.  

Do tell me your opinions. It makes my day. Don't be shy! Your voice matters!

Have a great 2022! And sweet dreams if you, too, are going to bed.

~Anony