YOUNG GOD | RHYSAND [ON HOLD]

2.07 | EVERYTHING WAS MY FAULT

Rhys who was taking in all the new information about her, guessed where the rest of the story was going. "So that's where Feyre comes in."

"That's where Feyre comes in," Aadya confirmed. "I didn't want to. But I needed for Feyre to die, for my plan to work. It began with me leaving Under the Mountains after 26 years to the Spring Court, earn the trust of Tamlin and everyone in the Court. I suggested to Tamlin about sending Andres to the other side of the wall, because I was watching Feyre hunt for weeks and knew her family was in poverty. I knew she would kill Andres, without a thinking to provide food for her family, which will end up with Feyre being stuck in the Spring Court under the name of Treaty. Feyre will fall in love with Tamlin and the curse placed on the High Lords will break, making Amarantha weak opening an opportunity for me to escape."

"But as time went, I knew it was wrong. That I shouldn't use a human girl as some pawn in my plan for freedom. That's where you came in, unplanned. You didn't know at the time but you did help me try and attain my redemption by setting Feyre free. You scared Tamlin enough, that he was forced to send Feyre back to the human lands. You helped me without even knowing you were doing anything." She gave him a small smile, but it faded. "But Feyre being the stubborn human she is, came back which led to her making a bargain with Amarantha, then me trying to protect her by forcing her to make a bargain with us. But Feyre never knew about my curse, her bargain was for the freedom of the High Lords not me. That was why Feyre had to die."

"As I said before I was not proud of my actions. I was looking out for myself, I had to. I knew how to release myself from the cruse, the minute she placed it on me, I just didn't have the power. So, I made a deal with Amarantha, giving her the satisfaction of killing Feyre, then burning her to retrieve her ashes, so I could be free. Even if I was free from my curse, doesn't mean I had my full power, that's where Feyre's resurrection was needed. I had collected favours from every High Lord of Prythain, over the course of fifty years. I cashed in on the favours, making them give a tendril of their power, to Feyre so that she would resurrect. I knew some of the High Lords powers would be transferred to Feyre and the spell I did was to delay her resurrection, giving me the time to memorize the High Lords powers, study it enough so that I could use it."

"That's why you were so defensive when I mentioned Feyre might have some powers transferred to her," Rhys murmured silently, in realisation. Aadya nodded in confirmation.

"I just wanted her to live a normal life, with powers of normal Fae. She was in the mess because of me, so wanted her to have a chance at some kind of happiness even if she had to die for it. I just--" Aadya's voice broke. "I just wanted to protect my brother. But I couldn't do that either. Now he is-- he is dead," silent tears were streaming down her face, but she continued. "He is dead, Feyre is wishing she was dead. I didn't mean to make a mess of everything, Rhysand," she grasped his hand, on his lap. She begging him, begging him to believe her.

"I didn't mean to. I didn't want so many people to die they deserved to be something other than some collateral damage, I didn't want to kill anyone to save myself and my brother. I didn't want the crown they forced me sit on. I didn't want this power. I just wanted to go home, to my brother, Rhys. And I am so, so sorry for ruining Prythain.  Please say you believe me, please forgive me. I sorry that I condemned you to be a whore for Amarantha, Prythain to crumble. I just wanted to stop fighting, I am so tired-- so tired of trying to protect everyone. I can't-- I can't breathe-- I--" she couldn't breathe. Aadya was gripping his hand to tight. Her vision was clouded with tears.

Rhysand was stunned by the confession, but he knew this was not even half of the horrors she went through. For the first, all he could when he looked at Aadya was a small child, who had no idea how to live, had no trace of love in her life, but constantly being asked to carry everyone else's weight on her shoulders. He felt guilty, because he was once again asking her to fight for someone else, asking her to carry extra weight on her shoulders. Aadya was completely sobbing, when Rhysand pulled her onto his chest, enclosing her with his arms, trying to keep her from breaking apart.

"I'm sorry, darling," Rhys murmured against her hair, his hand smoothing it down. "I believe you and I forgive you for what you had to do, to save your people. I sorry you had lose the person you were protecting your entire life. I'm sorry that your brother is dead. And I'm so, so so sorry that you had to go through so much alone. I am sorry."

They both just sat there, as Rhys held Aadya as she cried for everything that she has holding together for so long. Rhys slowly patted down on her hair, saying calming words in ear until Aadya nodded off into a peaceful sleep after two days.

♚✭♛

Rhys placed Aadya down on the bed, and pulled the covers over her shoulders and took his place back on the chair. He didn't want to leave her alone. Not knowing what at her state of mind will be when she wakes up. He was mind-blown, at Aadya's planning and will to achieve what she wants. But the question remained.

Who's side is she on?

Prythain? Her own Kingdom? But the only answer Aadya had directly given him, was that she was against Hybern. And that was enough for him. For now.

And then comes the question of what her magic really is.

Rhysand slowly opened the note she was writing on. The words were messy, hurried, complicated and overall confusing. Words were scratched and rewritten on top, being scratched again. It was hard to make out the words, but a few were still eloquent.

Study it. Control it.

These four words were scribbled for pages and pages, with constant addition of words that didn't make sense to him. But before he could go on, Aadya's groggy voice made him stop.

"Snooping through my stuff?"

"Not at all."

She raised a brow. "Sure," she drawled the word. "Why don't you ask me what you want to know? Hmm?"

Rhys sighed and closed the book, and decided to humor her request. "I did come here to help you control your power. But I can't very well do that, if don't know what it is, can I?"

The sheets still covering her lower body, Aadya sat up in the bed, resting against the headboard, and looked down on her hands. "I still don't fully understand the magnitude of my power, but according to Melisende, she is my advisor," she cleared, when Rhys raised a questioning brow. "She told me, that my power is not something that is limited to a particular thing. Her exact words were, 'You just didn't just have magic, Aadya. You have raw magic. The rarest, and deadliest kind. Sheer, undiluted power, capable of being shaped into whatever form the wielder desired. You desired."

Their eyes met, as each shone in different light, one wanting to help and the other needing it. Aadya sighed in defeat. "So yeah, make what you will of that."

♚✭♛

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Is this what writers block feels like?? I couldn't write for the sake of my life🥴🥴

But here it is. I did it🎉🎉. Yeah!

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