Haunted Past

Chapter Twelve

Hindi ko alam kung paano ia-approach si Danzelle. Right after what I've done.

Gusto ko talagang saktan yung sarili ko sa ginawa ko. Bakit kasi hindi ko napigilan yung sarili ko?

I frightened her, and I don't think she'll talk to me again after that kiss. I doubt it that she will still trust me.

Sabi ko tutulungan ko siya pero bakit parang lalo kong pinapagulo yung lahat para sa kanya?

Hindi ko dapat ginawa yun. Hindi ko dapat inintindi yung nararamdaman ko para sa kanya.

Huminga ako ng malalim at kumatok.

Baka umiiyak na naman siya. This time, it's because of me. It's because I took advantage of her. Baka nga hindi na ako pagbuksan eh.

Fuck you, Zedri.

Kakatok sana ulit ako nung bumukas na yung pinto. Pinagbuksan niya ko. I sighed in relief.

Pero nakayuko siya. She can't look at me. She doesn't want to look up at me.

"Danzelle." It's all I managed to say. "Can we talk?" Akala ko pagsasarhan niya ako ng pinto. I was glad when she opened the door wide.

Nauna siyang umupo sa kama niya. Hindi ko alam kung anong sasabihin ko. Kapag sinabi ko yung totoo, will she believe me? Will she still trust me?

Anong sasabihin ko? I kissed you because I wasn't able to resist myself. I kissed you because I can no longer hold back my feelings.

"Y-yung Mommy mo." I heard her say. "Siya ba yung magbabantay sakin?" Tanong niya. Mas lalo akong pinanghinaan ng loob nung hindi na talaga siya tumitingin sakin. I wanted to punch myself.

"Yes. She'll stay here with you. Don't worry, mabait si Mommy. The problem is, she's so dramatic." I stared at her hand. She's nervous.

"S-salamat." Sabi niya.

"Danzelle." Lumuhod ako sa harap niya. I saw how her eyes widened. Finally, tinignan niya na ako. I took the chance to hold her hands.

"Danzelle. I'm really sorry sa nagawa ko. I know it was rude and I frightened you. Alam kong hindi mo gusto yung ginawa ko. It's just that... I can't help myself. You are so beautiful and I..." hindi ko na tinuloy yung sinabi ko. I sounded like a teenager confessing.

Baka lalong magulo ang lahat. "I'm really sorry, Danzelle." Kinuha ko yung isang kamay niya at nilagay sa pisngi ko. "Go on. Slap me. I deserve it."

Hindi ko mabasa yung reaction niya. I was shocked when she slapped me. Hard. Then she cried.

Hindi ako nasaktan sa sampal niya. Mas nasasaktan ako ngayon sa nakikita ko.

Great, Zedri.

"I'm sorry. I really am."

I can see how she was hurt.

"Hinalikan mo ko tapos magso-sorry ka?" Sigaw niya. "You think that's not rude?" Patuloy pa din yung iyak niya.

I grabbed her hands and kissed them. Tapos nun niyakap ko siya ng mahigpit. Then I kissed her once again.

So that's it. Umiyak siya dahil na-offend siya sa paghingi ko ng sorry. Hindi dahil hinalikan ko siya. I am so stupid.

So ibig sabihin nun, she liked it?

I was again entranced by her. I claimed her mouth and wished I can do this forever. Hindi siya nagpumiglas o lumayo. She liked this.

I pulled away for breath. I leaned my forehead against hers. We were both gasping for air.

I know it's not the perfect time for this because I still have to do a lot of things. I still have to help her. I still have to know more about her.

But I realized, I can't stand to do anything if I hold myself back.

"Why are you doing this?" She whispered as I wipe away her tears. "Why are you helping me?"

She gave me a look like she's telling me to answer her honestly.

"Why do you want to help me?" Tanong ulit niya. "Is it because I remind you of your sister?" Her voice was broken and she winced at her last question.

"No." I said. "I'm doing all of this because I love you."

I saw how she cried again. But this time, I wasn't worried why she cries like that. Instead of wiping away her tears, I took the opportunity to kiss her once more.

Then stopped when we hear someone clapping. We both turned to see Mom standing by the door. Smiling.