𝚃𝙾𝚇𝙸𝙲 ⭑ 𝒗.𝒅.𝒂

𝑵 𝑰 𝑵 𝑬 𝑻 𝑬 𝑬 𝑵 ♱

Diner passed, slowly, and very awkward. Victoria is disappointed and mad, I can feel it. She said nothing and just ate her food as fast as she could. I imagined this night to be so different, but I think Victoria is just shocked by all the things Mandy said about me, and unfortunately it is true. I used to be a horrible person, without any emotions. But I swear, with Victoria it's different, she changed me, in a good way.

"Amore, will you please say what's bothering you?", I trow my coat, and purse away as soon as we enter the hotel room. My girlfriend said nothing on our way home, she stared at the ground and refused my hand in hers every time. "Don't amore me", with her back against me, she stands in front of the window. "Viccy, what is wrong?", I ask, wanting to wrap my arms around her, but I'm afraid she'll refuse me. "Is it true, what Mandy said?", with a cold voice she asks. "Vic", I mutter, walking towards her. "Is it true?!", she raises her voice, making me swallow. "Yes", I say, quickly, already regretting my answer.

"But I swear, you changed me, I swear I won't hurt you like I hurted her. Victoria you have to believe me", the words roll out of my mouth, while I see a shocked face looking at me. "You were right, you are way too toxic for someone's love", she said, and that hurted me. And what hurted me even more, the fact that what she said was true. Maybe I didn't change, maybe I still am that toxic slut. "And when you were gone to the bathroom, she told me even more about you", Victoria snaps, starting to remove her make-up in the mirror. "Don't believe her, please I promise you I changed".

My words didn't help, they maybe only made it worse. "She said you told her you'd never leave her, you asked her for money and two weeks later you dumped her", my girlfriend yells, and than the sea of tears are coming by me. Everything she just said, it is true, and nothing Victoria ever said hurted me more like this. "Baby, listen to me", I grab her cheeks, turning her face to me, seeing her eyes, which are filled with tears. "I admit, it's true, but have I ever asked you for money". Luckily I'm stronger that her, and she isn't able to get out of my grip.

"I will never, ever dump you again, it was the worst decision I've ever made", I bite on my own tooth, trying to stay strong. "Please leave me alone", she mumbles, staring at the ground. "Why are you so mad Viccy?", before letting her go out of my arms, I ask. She doesn't respond, but makes her way towards her purse, grabbing it an opening the door. "Because you are still that toxic slut you used to be", she slams with the door, and within a tiny second it's quiet, dead quiet. My sobs, and curses break through the silence.

It is my own fault, and I know that, but it still feels like I did nothing wrong. Victoria left her phone here, and for a few whole minutes I stare at her background. It is a picture we made in front of the Christmas tree when we celebrated Christmas together. Her arms are wrapped around me, and we both shove the camera a middle finger. My phone ringed and without even looking I picked up the phone, realizing it was Thomas. "Hey how was you date?", he asks, a little flirty. "She hates me, again", I say, and Thomas sighs. "What happened?", he asks. "She believed everything Mandy said, and now she thinks I'm gonna break her heart again, and dump her", suprisingly I don't feel tears coming up, only the urge to kill Mandy for what she did.

"Let me talk to her", he says. "Thomas please n-", before I can finish he hangs up. Maybe Thomas talking to his bestfriend will help, and maybe Victoria will come back, with no hate. And for once in, I have no idea how long, I just need to talk to my sister.

"Maddie, everything sucks"

"Ow no, what happened?"

I open the balcony door, and I was actually hoping to see Victoria, but the square is filled with people and it's impossible to see my beautiful girlfriend who hates me right now from here.

"We saw Mandy, and now Victoria hates me"

"Your ex?!"

"Yes, and she told Vic everything I did to her, and now Viccy thinks I'm gonna do the same thing to her, but I swear believe me, I will never treat her that way"

A knot in my stomach gives me the urge to puke, maybe that will take my nausea away. This weekend was supposed to be amazing, and it was supposed to show Victoria how freaking much I love her, and how much she means to me. But instead, I fucked it up, again.

"I'm at the bands house right now, and I heard Thomas talking to Victoria, she is very upset"

"wait how?, she left her phone here"

"phone from the hotel maybe?"

"What did he say??!!"

"That you never wanted to hurt her like you did, and stuff like 'she loves you' and 'you know she won't hurt you'".

I smash my phone through the room, and start screaming in a pillow. Tears roll over my cheeks, and spot leaked eyeliner land on the pillow. "Why, is is my life such a mess", I scream, blaming all the things that happened, and all the mistakes I've made on myself.

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