☆held

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aster's pov

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aster's pov

Once we arrived at his place i immediately took off my heels because they were hurting. Ashtray went straight to his room to go to sleep and Fezco went to take a shower.

I made my way to the room and grabbed the makeup remover i left here and took off all my makeup. I was super exhausted from the day i've fucking had. Never did i imagine it to play out like how it did. Once i finished removing my makeup i entered the inside of the bathroom. When Fezco kissed me once the countdown finished i knew we had unfinished business. Like he said, we'll talk about our relationship problems another day. Right now i know what i want, and deep down so does he. I was a bit hesitant on doing what i was about to do, but something was pushing me to do it.

I slipped out of my dress and fully undressed then got inside the shower with him. Fezco was standing right under the shower head, letting the water trickle down his body. He didn't know i was there until i ran my hand down his back. Examining the freckles all over his sensitive skin.

That's when he turned his head to look at me. He turned his entire body to face me.

"What are you doin?" he smiled, stepping closer to me.

"I wanted to join." i now ran my hand down his chest.

He pulled me closer to him. Lips just inches away, i was eager for his touch. Was he contemplating whether or not this was a good idea? Probably. Thats what i was afraid of. That he'll regret this. "I love you." i felt his hand graze my cheek. I just stood there and stared at his lips because i was too scared to look him in the eyes. I was having doubts. Standing here, with Fezco's hands on me, eyes lingering. I thought i knew what i wanted. I wanted him. That feeling still exists. But i was scared i was going to fuck up again and it'd slip out of my hands once again. I'm clean now but what if i go back to depending on drugs? Or what if i do something stupid and Fez hates me forever?

Not that i would intentionally fuck something up. Im just an idiot and do hurtful things thinking i'm doing everyone a favor. Like when i'd hide things from Fezco to avoid a fight. Im just afraid i'll lose him again. I dont think my heart could handle that again.

He could tell i was over thinking because he lifted my chin so i'd look up at him. I swear i could see myself in his eyes. I saw a girl who was in love. So in love. I looked at him in a way i've never seen my parents look at each other. This was real love, even with the flaws underneath it. This is probably the realest love i'll ever feel.

"What's wrong, my love?" his voice grew soft. I loved when he spoke to me in his gentle, sweet voice. It made feel giddy inside because he only spoke that way with me.

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