𝙷𝚘𝚖𝚎? 𝚈/𝚗 𝚂𝚋𝚒 𝚂𝚝𝚘𝚛𝚢 (UNDER EDITING)

24 - Sister?

TW // Throwing Up, mention of overdosing/suicide

The holidays went by ok. Techno was bored af through all of it and Wilbur started going back to the studio.

Me and Techno never spoke about anything. We exchanged about 3 words with each other each day which was better than none i guess.

I couldn't wait to be back at school to be honest. The vibe at the house just wasn't good which is why I spent all of the second week with the group. We just done usual summer/spring stuff like go dookin', go out on bike rides, we even explored some of the abandoned places down the harbour.

Sunday was drawing in closer and closer. Even though I was looking forward to going back I was dreading it and I don't know why. The feeling was building and building. It usually did after the holidays. I always ended up dreading going back but then was fine when I got there.

It was Sunday night. We were all having dinner. It was just burgers, chips and salad but I felt really sick.
I was just sitting picking at my food. I had only ate a few chips and had a few small bites of my burger.

"Y/n are you ok?" Phil asked. It wasn't like me not to eat.

"Yeah. Can I be excused?" At this point I was trying not to projectile vomit everywhere.

"Yeah."

I ran upstairs as fast as I could and was sick. It wouldn't stop. I don't know why. It was always like this before going back to school or starting somewhere new even if I was looking forward to it.

Once I finally stopped I downed water from the tap and brushed my teeth throughly.

I don't think any of them suspected anything.

I cleaned up and flushed the toilet so it wasn't suspicious I'd been sick and went and sat in my room.

Phil came up like 20 minutes later. He knocked on my door.

"Come In."

"You ok mate? It's not like you not to eat."

"Yeah I'm fine. Just nervous to go back to school."

"Want to talk about it?"

I found it comforting that he was always nice and tried to understand.

"Not much to talk about. Just nervous for going back even though I know I'm going to be fine. Its nothing new Phil it's just what usually happens."

"If you're sure mate. You can have tommorow off if your nerves get too much."

"No no it's fine. I'll manage. Trust me." I smiled at Phil.

"Just remember I'm always here to talk if anything is wrong." He smiled back at me.

"I know. Thanks Phil."

"No problem. You know where I am if you need me."

The rest of the night passed quick. I fell asleep early and woke up usual time half 7.

I got showered and got dressed. Went downstairs and poured myself a small bowl of rice crispies. I took a big spoon and had a few massive spoonfuls so it looked like I'd had a lot. It's not that I wasn't grateful for the food, I genuinely was and Phil's was the only foster home where I got 3 full meals a day. I just didn't feel like eating.

I put my bowl in the sink and went upstairs, grabbed my bag and brushed my teeth. Mondays were always shit. Not as bad as Wednesdays but still bad.

I had all the worst subjects on Mondays.

Maths
Art
Break
English
History
Modern Studies
Lunch
RE
PE

I biked to school as usual. I got there just 10 minutes before the bell. I was speaking to everyone for a while just asking how their holidays was even though I'd seen them literally every day.