Lust - Victoria

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TW: includes brief mention of loss compensation, anxiety, trauma

I woke up to the feeling of the warm fabric of what seemed to be a blanket against my bare skin. Before I even had the chance to open my eyes, the memories of last night flashed by in a lapse.

Astonishingly clear I had the image of her curves in front of me, her hands all over my body, my tongue playing with the area around her clit, my fingers tracing along her soft skin, hers inside of me. I could hear the moans filling the room, the sound of hands gripping onto the bedsheets, her desperate groans, and my exhausted sighs.

I didn't know how long we had pleased each other like that but it must have been the middle of the night when we were falling asleep in each other's arms, sweating and breathing heavily.

All the desire we had been storing the dreadful days apart had been erupting into tender kisses. It was like I knew her by heart, every inch of her body like the back of my hand.

Finally allowing myself to open my eyes and blinking away the mesmerising images, I looked right into Victoria's beautiful face. Her eyes were closed, her features satisfyingly relaxed.

The golden shimmer of the rising sun glistened against her gentle feautures and bestowed her hair a certain shine to it, almost looking liquid.

The urge to draw my hand along her soft skin grew strong enough for me to get out of the bed and away from her. I didn't want to wake her, not when she looked as peaceful.

Wrapping the unused fabric of the white blanket around my body, I hurried to the small bathroom attached to Victoria's hotel room. I hadn't been questioning why she would have a room to herself, whilst the possibility hit me only know, that Damiano had had the key to her room, which could only mean that he gave up this incredible suite to me. Whereas I didn't doubt he shared it with Thomas and Ethan. Not even the names gave me trouble anymore, I saw it as progress.

That wasn't the only thing I saw though once I looked into the mirror above the expensive feeling sink. Big, dark bruises reached over my neck, my chest- once I pulled the blanket down further- my breasts, my stomach. I smirked. She for sure knew how to claim someone as hers.

Lost in the wonderful feeling of her lips against my skin, my hands absent-mindedly drove along the many hickeys, wondering if I had left any on her skin as well. Yesterday had been too heated to even know up and down apart, let alone notice what I was doing.

It took me around ten minutes to clean myself from whatever was left on my skin from last night. I pulled my hair back into a low ponytail, which was- apart from braids- the only hairstyle I really ever forced onto my hair.

With a sigh I opened the door again, the blanket tightly pressed against my chest. I intended to pick up the clothes Victoria had spread along the floor last night so I wouldn't have to rummage in my suitcase, when I found her already awake and looking at me with those seductive blue eyes. She was smiling.

"Good morning, bellezza", Victoria muttered in a voice I had never heard from her before, raspy and gentle at the same time. She had the blanket tucked under her arms, revealing nothing but her shoulders. I couldn't keep myself from scanning her neck for hickeys and feel a little disappointed when not finding any.

"Morning", I responded as normal as the pain in my throat allowed me to. My heart missed some beats when we were actually smiling at each other. It felt so unfamiliar yet so perfect.

Victoria patted the spot next to her on the bed and I laid down gladly. As soon as my back hit the mattress, she wrapped an arm around my shoulders and pulled me close against her body. Her touch still sent shivers down my spine even though it became regular by now. My skin tingled on every spot it met hers, my heart beating faster for smelling her natural scent.

"What happened back then when you were so devastated?", it slipped my mouth before I could think. My eyes teared open in shock of my own words, absolutely terrified of her reaction. At first there was none, her fingers tracing imaginary circles along my upper arm.

"I- I'm sorry I didn't-", I started but she cut me off.

"I know this doesn't sound like me... but I'm not as tough as you believe me to be. All this criticism you get as soon as you emerge as a public figure... it shouldn't get to me, but it does. And sometimes it's simply too much you know?", she said softly, the look on her face unable to be read. I nodded understanding, absolutely knowing what she meant.

Then she started talking about her family that was always there to support her. Then her mother. How she missed her and how she had panic attacks ever since. She cried into the crook of my neck, her tears soaking the pillow.

Once she asked me about my struggles I told her about the job I lost, my fears of not achieving anything, validating myself by professional success. I knew it wasn't close to the struggles she had to endure but I knew she wouldn't mind listening anyway.

We cried in each other's arms, cried our hearts out, let all our emotions free from our hearts. It felt like days but lasted only hours. Once our tears dried on our cheeks, our reddened eyes burning, our lungs longing for air, we eventually cuddled against each other, breathing in a slow, steady manner.

Once we had been lying like this for a while, she seemed to have found the strength to talk again, which I began to gather as well.

"You know what I usually do when I feel like this and I'm on my own?", she asked softly, her voice hoarse and fragile. I shook my head and looked up at her curiously.

"No, tell me", I attempted an encouraging smile but I didn't even have to see her doubtful expression to know I didn't succeed very well. She proceeded to stroke my arm with just her fingertips, her other hand resting on her forehead to hold her bangs out of her face.

"I look for three things I can see, possibly not too close to each other so I can concentrate on them and eventually calm down. I just go back and forth between them, saying their names in my mind", she explained calmly. I could imagine her doing that and it hurt me to know she was sometimes struggling so much, that she felt the need to take measures like those. Consequently it took me some moments to answer.

"I'm sorry, that probably sounds so stupid, I don't know why I said that", she whispered before I had the chance to. Hearing her say that almost led to me crying again.

"No, no, please, it doesn't sound stupid at all, it's actually a very good way, especially if it works for you. I'm really glad you told me", I urged, touching her cheek with the back of my hand. I felt like the cushions under me would give in when I saw the small smile appearing on her beautiful lips.

"We only have a meeting in the late afternoon scheduled for today, how about we spend that remaining time together?", she asked and I was glad for the distraction.

"I know exactly where to take you", she said in her happy tone and poked my side gently, sitting up in visible excitement. There was no way I could stay sad when this wonderful girl smiled at me like that.

"I'm all yours."