Muslimahs tale : For the sake of Allah

Halts and the Phoenix phase

So today i am going to confess..how it has been a very long.. long halt in my journey.
I have stopped ,
My Hifdh teachers.. Sister Ayesha-my previous teacher in hifdh , an year younger than me .
And sister Maryam my current teacher is a student of my age .
They have been truly one of the biggest reasons for me to act upon the hadith -
The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "The best among you (Muslims) are those who learn the Qur'an and teach it " .

USC-MSA web (English) reference: Vol. 6, Book 61, Hadith 545

In-book reference: Book 66, Hadith 49 .

I want to Read , learn , understand, memorize and teach the holy Qur'an ..and help others do the same .
..i want to be perfectly equipped with the holy Qur'an so that when i find individuals like me i can guide them in the best ways possible .
It was very difficult for me to relearn all this . I was honestly a carefree kid .
But when i became consious of Allah as i grew up things changed ..and they changed for better .
When i started memorizing the holy verses , my heart truly felt the ayah that says
-
Ar-Ra'd 13:28

ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوا۟ وَتَطْمَئِنُّ قُلُوبُهُم بِذِكْرِ ٱللَّهِۗ أَلَا بِذِكْرِ ٱللَّهِ تَطْمَئِنُّ ٱلْقُلُوبُ

Those who have believed and whose hearts are assured by the remembrance of Allah. Unquestionably, by the remembrance of Allah hearts are assured."

Indeed this is one of the verses that are truly going to change the next chapter of my lifes story ..i never knew ...
So ! I have a lot to update you about!!
So briefly..let me take you through all of that halty phase .

No. Of things that happened :

1 . The two sisters (they are friends and not sisters..but we girls call eachother sisters) ..stopped teaching because they got busy in their uni life ..one of them is med student so now you know why the break in teaching was required for her .
2 . So i stopped learning and memorizing for a while as i was stuck with my 1st year grad exams.
3 . Then i started memorizing on my own in the sem 2 of 1st year during exams..my new motto was - "an ayah a day keeps the failure away! "
4 . Memorized surah al Balad , then surah ash shams..was left halfway (lack of inspo ..i know thats not justifiable.. Rabbighfirli)
5 . Sent an audio to the sis for review of the surah al Balad..turns out..has a lot of mistakes..will try to rectify that soon in sha Allah .
5 . At the peak of the halt in the journey when i was so lonely and continued slowly..very slowly... i began viewing other hifdh students stories on instagram which motivated me on how i should continue my journey . Kept messaging institutes who could get me through this..all of them had handsome amount of hadiyas in USDs (money taken for teaching islamic stuff or for any islamic cause..its not called as price, cost , fees in islamic culture..its called as 'hadiya'  , a respectable word which means one rewards the other for the sake of Allah in return to a beautiful favour)
6 . On the end of 2nd year midterm exams..(now you know how long the halt was actually for *guilty* )
I bumped into an instagram reel of- "tahfeelul Qur'an institute" now called - " the virtue online insitute"..i never knew how this would change my life ..Alhamdulillah.
The reels showed how some muslimahs joined them and after some years..became beautiful hafidhas . I casually messaged them..had no hope that they would be of any help..yes , i didnt expect what was coming . Little did i know how they would be the turning point of my life .
They replied to me in a gentle manner and informed me it was free , Then explained to me that they had 2 systems..
(a)Daily 1 page memorization.
(b)weekly half a page .
Looking into my condition where i was having my 2nd year midterm exams i choose the weekly system . Joined a few whatsapp groups to enquire furthermore if this would suit me.
7 . I was still not sure that i would be able to handle this  (the institute had strict rules of learning and reporting)
thought of quitting ..yes..i am guilty for doing that. But contacted the officials if they could admitt me to my batch after my exams..but obviously this was impossible .they told tjat we should never neglect the Quran for wordly affairs abd academics.
Anyways momma told me try .
8 . Attended a few introductory meetings and got the hang of it .
9 . First few weeks the rules increased..strict timings where maintained for submissions of audios . Daily submission of studycards helped us maintain our revision . We got warnings from the heads if we showed a laid back behaviour..
10 . As i am a science student it became tougher and tougher for me to manage the two .
My submissions were all messed up .
11 . But by the Grace of Allah i overcomed it . I managedthe two somehow . I noticed the barakah in my exams when i was striving for Allah , he made the duniya easier for me .
12 . Exams went well..i am awaiting my beautiful results for sem 3 (2nd year 1st sem, 3 years have 2 sems each - 1 to 6 sems)
13 . Updating and memorizing, getting mu audios reviewed has all become a part of me now .
14 . We started from 26th juz . As most of us knew the 30th juz . Have memorized 2 pages of surahtul Ahqaf .
15 . My exams are over ,enjoying my holidays and i have got a months' holiday for Ramadan in my hifdh institute as well . How beautiful! They told us that Ramadan is a time where we should get closer to Allah in our own and comfortable manner . I sooned realized that rules were only to guard the respect that we should pay to the words of Allah while memorizing it and to preserve them in the best way possible . I owe a lot to this institute for changing me and my mindset to a lot of extent.
You know Allah makes a way for us when we are truly willing to strive for him . He showed me this institute and made me a part of it . He truly always made ways for me when i wanted to learn and strive for the sake of Allah . I love you Allah.  Shukr Allah for all of this .
Ramadan is going to arrive after a day in sha Allah .
ALLAHUMMA BALIGHNA RAMADAN . AMEEN .
I hope we get closer to Allah this Ramadan and we get the peace our broken hearts are longing for ( i feel we all tend to get tired and are heart broken by people so much before ramadan only so that we could get back to Allah in the best and the most humble manner).
My heart truly yearns for the love , peace and security that is present in the air during Ramadan . You truly can sense it . Ramadan truly feels different . This month is indeed blessed . May Allah give us a chance to experience it . 

Anyways..always remember ..the way you handle those halts in your  ourney define the progress in your future and..the way you bounce back upon them and punch the difficulty back in its face.. that defines the Phoenix you ARE from within . For it is when you restart from your ashes in an honourable way .
Are going through your Phoenix phase? Then know that you can be one.

Phew! So this was a huge life update . Keep striving , keep smiling..
Keep building your ark of tawakkul..till then Allahafiz . And As salamu alaykum.. warahmatullahi... wabarakatuhu ♡♡♡