'where we are now' remus lupin & regulus black

No other heart

"Listen, Cordelia," Amos starts, taking my hand back. "Don't take this the wrong way, because Merlin am I lucky and grateful to have you back in my life. But, the last thing I need is another person telling me what I am and what I am not right now. I'm a lot of things, and trying is all of them. So, please, don't become one of those people. You aren't one of those people. I just need you too much right now. Easy going, party-girl, Cordelia. Please, okay?"

I bite my lip.

How do you tell someone the person they need you to be the most is gone?

How do I tell Amos the old Cordelia is buried along side her best friend?

"Okay."

You don't.

I don't.

Amos smiles and I ignore the urge to smack it off his face. "So how does she know you need a hobby anyway? Is she, like, stalking you?"

"She must just have a hunch, yanno with everything going on? Wants to give me a break, if that's what this is," I brush his questions off.

"Nuh-uh," Amos reaches over and takes the letter from my other hand—ignoring my groan of annoyance—and scans it over himself. "See, it says, 'brought to my attention' right here. She's stalking you." He puts the parchment on the table, pointing to the words.

Click!

That's the sound my brain just made.

Because who would try and find me a hobby other than hanging out with dusty old books?

A certain Slytherin who likes to deprive woman of release, that's who.

I shove the letter into the pocket of my robe, scrambling to get up. "You know what? You're right. She is stalking me. I should probably go have a word with her about that. Meet you back here in an hour?"

"Okay," Amos says, "And when you come back you can tell me all about what you were really doing."

The edges of his mouth quirk upwards, a real smirk toying with his lips.

☽☽☽

Twenty minutes.

Twenty minutes is how long Ive spent roaming the school looking for Regulus Black. He wasn't by the black lake, he wasn't in the library.

Now, I continue to roam—to the Astronomy tower this time—in hopes to thank him.

There's an odd new buoyancy to my walk. Each foot stepping on its own trampoline and I can't help but think, this is it. This is the feeling i've been aimlessly searching for like a needle in a haystack; hope. I have nothing I want, it was all stolen. However, I can feel a million tiny hands in my body reaching to snatch it back. A willpower I didn't have this morning.

The flagstone walls around me are no longer so daunting and frightening. For I am tearing each one down.

Brick.

By.

Brick.

I am ready.

I am ready.

I am ready to finally let go of this feeling I have for Remus, this attachment.