Mending Hearts

ℂℍ𝔸ℙ𝕋𝔼ℝ 𝟚𝟙

𝕋𝕙𝕖 𝕊𝕜𝕖𝕥𝕔𝕙𝕓𝕠𝕠𝕜

I woke up from the nap still cuddled into Bucky's chest, feeling a sense of calm and relaxation blanketing me. I relished in the moment, him still asleep yet holding me close and keeping me safe. I yawned and moved slightly, trying to get impossibly closer, but accidentally disturbed the sleeping super soldier.

He grumbled and pulled me closer, before shocking me when he rolled onto his side, pulling me over him and onto the other side of the bed to be pressed against his chest still. I squeaked in surprise and let out a very quiet laugh, but clearly not quiet enough. I felt a small hum rumble in Bucky's chest and the stubble of his beard leave the top of my head moments before a kiss was placed on my forehead.

Bucky's sleepy voice filled my ears as he mumbled "good morning Doll". I smiled into his chest, but he moved his arm to gently grab my chin so I would look up at him. He kissed me gently, it was a sleepy kiss but I still relished in it.

I closed my eyes and smiled, "hi Buck".

Silence had surrounded us, but it was comfortable. My brain felt like it had finally slowed down and I could take a break for once. I'd never needed someone like I needed him. He was my peace. It wasnt just a sex thing or physical. It was like he fixed me instantly and became a slight part of me in doing so, and with each second passing I feel that part of me grow and grow. He'd become the part of me that I'd always needed but could never find, that part of me that helped remind me I would be okay.

That was it. It clicked. Despite everything, after all I've been through, I was still going to be okay. That even though I didnt feel it, and I was beyond broken, I would be okay. He did it. I felt it. He was mending me. It was a strange feeling, after getting so used to being so fallen apart and barely holding it together, and often not, it felt foreign to be able to at least hold all the pieces of my heart in one hand and half of it not fall on the floor again. He didn't even know what happened but he picked up the pieces after, I admired that about him - his tolerance for me, that it. He took all my imperfections he'd seen on the chin, as if they didn't matter to him. It was a beautiful feeling, one that I knew I had to cherish for as long as I could, as the fear of losing that feeling was far too great for me not to.

We didn't speak for a while, just letting time pass as we soaked in the time together after him disappearing for so long. He was the first to speak, when his eyes were scanning the room he zoned in on something. He smiled slightly at it, so I followed his line of sight to see the mess I'd made in the corner by the window. Blankets layered over each other and crumpled up from me shuffling around; pillows sloppily thrown close by that I'd used to lean on or try and ease an ache I'd get from being zoned out; pencils and fine liners strewn across the place from my grumpy throwing or clumsy dropping of them; and the sketchbook that's significantly thinner than what it should be thanks to me ripping pages out in frustration when I messed up a line.

"What you been working on Doll?" Bucky looked back at me, curiosity glinting in those breathtaking eyes of his. "Can I see it? Please?" He rubbed his flesh hand up and down my waist and hip gently, as if hoping it would coax me into saying yes.

I hesitated, I wasn't ready for him to see it just yet. I looked over at the sketchbook on the floor, then back at the soldier laying with me, should I show him? Surely it couldn't hurt...

He kissed my cheek, his stubble tickling me when he did so, "please Doll?" He kissed again, saying please afterwards, before kissing again. He kept doing this until I was giggling and gently pulling his hair so he'd stop.

"Okay okay okay! Fine you can see" I was laughing at his action, then the huge grin that spread across his face once he heard my agreement.

Never, in my life, have I seen an Avenger (and I live with Tony Stark) move so quickly while shouting like a kid "fuck yes!" He practically leapt out of my bed, while still being careful with the arm I was lying on so I didn't go flying, and slid over to the book. Once he'd picked it up he jumped onto the bed next to me, causing me to bounce into the air in a hysteria of laugher at his childish behaviour. Once we were both still he pulled me into his side and held the book so we could both see, much to my distaste, and smiled at the matte black cover of it that had been worn away at the corners from the general wear and tear it's been through over the past year or so. "Can I look at all of it?" He glanced at me for permission, clearly still wanting to respect me and know I was still comfortable with how much he saw of my personal sketches.

I was quiet for a moment. I didn't mind how much he saw really, I trusted him, but it was more so knowing that I would no longer be the only person to know what's in the book I keep so hidden from everyone. It wasn't like there was anything that really showed anything personal - it was mostly little tattoo ideas or sketches of roses and doodles I'd do when bored. Trust him, let him see it my conscience decided, and so I did. "Yeah okay, the last one though... I'll need to explain that one."

He smiled at me, kissing my forehead before opening the book and looking at my artwork. He'd scan each one individually, never saying a word, then look over the next. The only time there was a visible reaction was on the pages with my sketches of roses, when he'd sweep his thumb gently over the page and give and almost silent hum of appreciation. When he got to the last page he looked at me, waiting for me to explain. But I had absolutely no clue what to say.

Taking a deep breath in, I stared at the page. "Well, uh... while you were gone I kinda really missed you and well I... I decided to draw a tattoo that reminds me of you". I heard him take in a breath and I panicked, "not like a tattoo you need to get or anything, it's just one that's kinda inspired by you, yanno?"

There's a thick silence in the air, until I get the courage to look at Bucky and see the joy-filled grin plastered over his face. He began laughing for a few moments before calming down enough to say "it's beautiful Doll" before closing the book and pulling me into a crushing hug once he'd set it safely aside. He kissed my cheek before pulling his face away to look at me.

He took a second to look at me so I decided to ask "what do you really think of it?" He didn't respond to my question, but instead leaned in and kissed me. It was slow and passionate, like he was trying to tell me how much he liked it through the kiss rather than words. I relished in it, despite my worries of what he thinks, I kissed back. The need I felt for him spiked, and I felt myself craving him again.

Hey darlings! Sorry it's been a while, but finally got a chapter written and ready for you. Thank you so much for 2k reads last week, and 100 votes over the weekend! I can't believe people are reading and enjoying this, I'm so glad you're liking it so far, and baring with me on the updates. I'm gonna try and work on getting into a writing schedule, so hopefully I'll be getting chapters out more often. Please remember to vote, and leave comments or suggestions if you have any, as always have a good day/night.