The Soulmate

Chapter-4

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My gaze fixated to the mirror attached to dressing table was beginning to blurry as Mummy's words from earlier reverberated against my ears once again.

"People look at everything! They take everything into consideration! If you're so obsessed about Parda then do it after marriage!"

Despite trying my hardest to ignore their hurtful words, I couldn't stop the tears pooling in my eyes from streaming down.

"You need to walk together with the world—Why do you always have to be so extreme? The world is going to shun you if you continue this way. We are only saying this for your benefit."

My lips quivered on recalling Dad's comments, causing a sharp gasp to escape my lips which I had to bite down on.

'Look, how pretty you look with you hair down. There wasn't a gathering when everyone didn't stop to compliment on how pretty you looked. You were the prettiest girl in the room because of how beautifully you carried yourself—but now! No one is going to spare a second glance at you! No one is going to find you pretty with that thing on your head. It's going to be just like Dad said—You're going to be ostracised and become one of those rejected people who nobody wishes to associate with.'

A voice whispered from within me and my fingers brushing through my long silky locks halted midway.

'How much more, Ya Allah? When will my trials end? Is there ever going to come a day when I don't feel tired?' The thought caused fresh onset of tears to sting the corner of my eyes and I averted my gaze with a gulp; roughly rubbing away my tears with the back of my hand. Still sniffing through tears, I began to tie my hair into a bun.

For the first time I was doing something solely for the approval and love of Allah SWT, by forsaking my own desires. So how could I even for a fleeting second think that He was going to forsake me, or let me be ridiculed in front of all these people? How could anything, anyone said, prevail me to believe that He wasn't going to compensate me for this with unimaginable and infinitely blessed ways; when He had always blessed me before inspite of my halfhearted worshiping?

'Whom do you love the most?' A voice echoed within me.

'Allah.' The answer came without a break.

'Are you sure? Even more than your own self?' The doubtful voice insisted again and was followed by a moment's silence.

'Even more than my own self.' My conscience admitted finally and a tear filled smile finally formed across my face.

'The One whom I have submitted my soul to and sacrificed my desires to earn His pleasure is going to become enough for me. And He is never going to let me be disgraced in front of this world. InshaAllah He is going to honour me and uplift me in this world and in the next—And InshaAllah I will be standing with my held high that day.'

Tears continued to drip down my cheeks as I thought this to myself; however like every time, before, this time too they didn't escape the notice of Ash-Shaheed (The Witness).

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I could hear Mummy getting tea ready with the maid from inside my room but didn't dare take a step outside; lest Mummy made me take it off. So I quietly strolled around my room waiting till summoned.

"They are here—" Mummy came in, although I had got up from my place already after hearing for her.

"Didn't I tell you to take that thing off?! Get rid of it now! Your father is going to set you straight otherwise!" She bellowed, referring to my hijab. I didn't say anything in response. Instead, gulped down my tears and kept my head down whilst walking beside her towards the lounge where the guests were seated.