Who We Are | TWD

.048

    "For some reason, I have a huge feeling that Emilia Sallow is lying to me," she says.

    "I'm not!" I protest, but can't clean myself of the expressions that contradict my opposition.

    "Is that so?"

    "It is," I say firmly, but Rosita raises her eyebrows.

    "Are you sure?"

    "Yes, I'm sure." I think the interrogation is over, but from one glance at Rosita's smirking face, I can tell it isn't. "Okay, fine. I guess you can say there is. We've only kissed a few times though and I don't even know what to call it." Rosita's jaw drops dramatically as she hears the news and I laugh.

    "Emmie!"

    "I told you - it's nothing!" I return, trying not to get her too excited about something I can't even depict for myself. When being completely honest, I don't know what's going on between Carl and I. Sure, we've kissed and spent a generous amount of time together, but it's never been defined. And yes, I care about him a lot, but there's no name to our relationship - nothing to describe what it truly is to the two of us.

    "So, you've kissed more than once?" Rosita says. Before I can even answer, she's already noticeably excited about it. "I had a feeling. Now, I'm proud because I was right."

    "Only kind of right," I point out.

    "Is Carl your, like . . . boyfriend now?"

    "No. We haven't said anything like that yet. I mean, I guess he said that he wanted to be more than friends, but that's about it." Suddenly, I feel anxious. I feel like I'm doing something wrong and maybe I took whatever this thing is and turned it into something it's not. "Should it have gone another way? It's just that . . . I've never been in a . . . relationship before. I don't really know how this goes."

    "No, it's all good. Don't rush anything. Just take your time. Things will happen when you're both ready." I don't have any sisters or girlfriends, but Rosita has become about as close as I can get to one and I'm so glad to have her, especially right now, when all I'm filled with is doubt. "How do you feel about him?"

    I shrug. "I dunno. I care about him and everything."

    "Do you like him though? Or love him?"

    "Yeah, I guess I do. I've never really thought about it much and we haven't said that to each other yet, but I think I do."

    "There'll be a time when you figure it out and know for sure, but just be patient until then. Like I said, there's no reason to rush any of it."

    I set my chin on my knees. "Nobody knows. You're the first person I've told."

    "Rick doesn't know yet? Or Michonne or Daryl?" I shake my head.

    "I don't really know how to tell anyone. I guess that I also don't want it to ruin my relationship with Rick, either. I don't want him to see me differently if Carl and I are together."

    "He might, but I don't think he'll care about you any less. Maybe, he'll love you even more." I grin, happy for all the advice. Rosita has a knack for giving good suggestions.

    "Speaking of caring about people, how've you been holding up with Abraham being gone?"

    Rosita let's our a sharp breath, looking to the ground as she hugs her knees to her chest. "Honestly, it's been hard, but part of love is being scared. I'm scared everyday that he'll die or something will happen to him, but I guess that's just what you sign up for."