I hate loving you

Chapter 4

A/N: In this chapter, there are BIG spoilers of Thor and Avengers.

Their affairs as regards the kingdom kept them occupied and apart during the whole day. It seemed like the Norns didn't want them to meet and finally resolve their problems. At least, some of them. Nevertheless, when Loki was retiring to his chambers, skipping dinner out of tiredness, a guard told him that the king required his presence in one of the secret gardens of the palace.

Loki's heart throbbed all the way to the garden, which both of them knew very well since it was their mother's favourite place to be quiet and at ease with them when they were children. When he reached his final destination, he saw that Thor had had dinner prepared just for the two of them, candles being the only source of light. They were alone, at long last. No guards, no servants, no advisors. Just the two of them.

"We haven't been able to be alone for a minute all day. I thought we could enjoy some time alone together." said Thor, smiling affectionately.

"You were always quite a sentimental fool." Loki laughed, but he sat on the chair in front of the other god.

"I am, and with the years, I've become more and more sentimental." his smile was shining in the dim light. Loki rolled his eyes, but there was a small smile on his face as well.

They ate together mostly in silence, and when they did talk, it wasn't about anything relevant. Loki would have expected Thor to be eager, impatient to talk about everything they needed to, but he was wrong. There was no exasperation in his older brother, in fact, they enjoyed the whole dinner in peace. They ate, they laughed, and everything was relatively easy between them. Loki couldn't help but wonder if their lives were going to be like that once they had finally set aside their problems.

At the same time, he wasn't as innocent as to believe that this was the way the whole night would go. Loki knew that Thor needed to know some things about him that weren't really what he would have expected from him. Loki had done so many things that his brother wouldn't even think of, and he had to admit he was a little bit afraid that Thor wouldn't forgive him.

That thought followed Loki throughout the night, even when they had finished their dinner and agreed to go to Thor's chambers. Once they reached the room, they went straight to the balcony. The full moon was shining on both of them, being the only light between them, apart from the dim candle lights from inside. They were able to see almost all Asgard from there, even the Bifrost. Their home was breathtaking, there was no doubt about that.

"Sometimes I'd like to enter that head of yours and see what you are thinking so hard." said Thor with a smile, his voice merely a whisper.

"Well, that would be a problem for you. My brain thinks so much more than yours, that you would find yourself petrified from all the stimuli." Loki smirked, still looking at the bright sky. Thor chuckled. "I was just thinking how beautiful the moon looks tonight." he shrugged.

"It does. However, your skin under the moonlight looks so much better. I can barely refrain my hands from caressing you and ruining such a beautiful image." Thor caressed his cheek with the tip of his calloused fingers as if he was really afraid to make Loki disappear. The god of mischief chuckled.

"I could vanish right here, you know. Just to see you suffer." he taunted, instinctively leaning his head towards Thor's fingers.

"But you don't want that. Not anymore, I think." whispered the god of thunder, his hand travelling down Loki's arm to finally take his hand, which was resting in the rail of the balcony. "What did you want to talk about?" Loki sighed. He knew that this was coming, and he knew that he had to face it, but damn, he would rather skip this moment. If only he were able to travel in time...