Ma Chérie (Beverly Marsh x Fem!Reader) (On Hold)

Chapter 29: Lasting Repercussions

Tw: mentioning skipping meals, nightmares, contemplating s*of h*rm

May 26, 1989

Your P.O.V

Exactly two months have gone by since Addison's death, and I've watched his 'MISSING' poster get buried underneath what feels like hundreds of other ones. I know it's maybe three or four more, but that's a lot in only two months. and for a town as small as Derry. The strangest thing is that it doesn't really seem to bother anyone.

As for me, well, my nightmares are more frequent, and sometimes I can't eat, since there's a lingering feeling of guilt that makes me unable to keep down my food. Why didn't I go with Addison? I know that I wouldn't have liked what obviously would have happened, but at least he wouldn't be dead. Since my therapist unexpectedly left the town last month, I haven't had anyone to talk to about my problems.

I grab the edges of my right sleeve and rub my thumb over the top repeatedly, one of the things I do to stay calm. At least it's a Friday, and it's my last day at school for the week. Time for a relaxing weekend at home, except for the fact that Henry Bowers has decided that I need to hang out with him again for some reason.

It's very confusing, him and his cronies will completely ignore me for weeks on end, but then suddenly expect me to hang out with them. But at least they're not beating me up?

After I finish getting ready, I head over to Beverly's door and let her know I'll be waiting by the bikes. She opens the door just a few seconds after I knock. Her eyes light up as soon as she notices that it's me.

I lean against the door frame, pretending to be flirty. "Just wanted to let you know I'll be down by the bikes when you're ready."

"I'll make sure to take as long as possible then." She gives me a teasing smile, making sure I know she's being sarcastic. After I nod in confirmation, she turns around and shuts the door behind her, leaving me alone with my thoughts.

Since I don't want to overthink, well, everything, I pull out some of the money I have been saving up. After school, I'm planning on buying a walkman for Beverly and me to share. I had to save over forty-five dollars, but I also wanted some blank cassettes as well. I want to make a mixtape for Beverly, but I'm not sure what songs she likes.

While I'm recounting the money, making sure I have enough, Beverly sneaks behind me and startles me. I almost drop my money, but luckily I have decent reflexes.

She pokes her head around my shoulder, and looks at the money in my hands. As she starts talking, she moves around until we face each other. "Is that for your super secret surprise thingy?"

"If I told you, it wouldn't be a super secret surprise, now would it?" I squint my eyes, pretending to judge her. Waiting a few seconds to provide dramatic pause, I continue. "Don't worry, I tell you most everything else. I think Brenna is the only one who knows more about me than you." Little does she know that my other secrets might possibly get me killed. Of course, that all depends on the area I live, and how homophobic the people are, but I don't like my chances with Derry. Having Brenna know is already risky.

Beverly's eyes light up. "Speaking of Brenna, do she and your other friends mind that we hang out so much?" She moves her hand in a circle when she mentions my other friends.

I'm silent for a few seconds, trying to figure out the best way to explain it. "Let me think. Well, me and Brenna are still pretty close, and what do you think I'm doing when I'm not at home?" I say it in a semi-judging way, but trying to be sarcastic enough that it doesn't get misinterpreted as being rude.

Her smile turns into a more sheepish one. "I thought that was like, I don't know, theatre stuff?" She shrugs slowly, and her voice gets here higher, indicating that she isn't sure what I actually do.