Infertile | ✓

CH:16

Yes, he had been displaying wrong attitudes and poor communication, and caught feelings for another man... but he never cheated...

Yes, he thought about it and almost did it but, he never went through with it... And having to process the new information that the man he had built a solid foundation of trust with kissed someone else... hurt...

But Felix knew that he could not blame Changbin entirely. The latter's lips were probably affection-deprived, considering the fact that they hadn't had a proper- real kiss all week. His heart was probably yearning for some type of mutual connection and didn't know how to decline when such wish was fulfilled and... maybe he was moving on too?

Yeah, maybe. And as much as it was the perfect example of hypocrisy, Felix could not lie and say that he felt okay with that. But it was fair, wasn't it? If he could fall out of love, then Chagnbin could too... couldn't he?

"O-oh," the blonde finally spoke up, shivering and struggling to gulp down his dry throat. "I- I don't know what to say..."

"I was wrong, and I admit that, Felix," Changbin sighed, running a hand over his face, and slumping back in his seat before continuing. "It's just- these past few weeks have been so damn hard, and this was the outcome of us not talking about it-"

"Changbin-"

"No, listen. If you had been listening to my feelings more, then things wouldn't have gotten this far in the first place," Changbin scoffed, not even trying to hide his agitation; growing from just the reiteration of how love was no longer the root of their relationship. It all hurt too, too much, and he really was not willing to keep anything in anymore, no matter how Felix felt about it.

"I think it's safe to assume that you don't love me anymore," he stood to pace the floor, assuming that it'd better let out his points as loud and clear as he needed them to be. "And it hurts- it hurts like hell. You've been treating me like a second choice for the past time, Felix. Like what the fuck? At least reassure me? Reassure me and tell me that everything is okay- that I still have- or had you," he sniffled when his voice cracked, shaking his head as he glanced Felix's shaky, sweaty frame.

"I-I'm sorry," Felix too, stood up, fiddling with the hem of his sweater. "I- Let me be honest too, Bin," he gulped, attempting to touch the older's arm but frowning when Changbin didn't even hesitate to shift out of range.

Ouch.

"I've been distant because..." he started but trailed off, shivering under the older's gaze. Opening both palms in front of his chest to gesture as emphasis to his words, he sighed and spoke again, looking down at his hands' movements rather than Changbin's dull eyes. "Ever since Chan came along," he sighed, sniffling and struggling to keep his admission as honest as possible. "I- I've been feeling kind of- fuck- I almost- we almost kissed, Bin-Bin..."

"What?" Changbin, drew both folded arms down from his torso, clearly and tenably hurt. And all of a sudden, his decision to cheat didn't seem so worthy of requital anymore. Because Felix had to have had cheated- well almost, cheated, even earlier than that night, yet chose to say nothing. He had stayed still and harbored those growing feelings for a man whilst leading another on and-

Fuck.

Changbin's knees felt weak. The anger growing within him rushed up to his eyes like tears and, his head hurt at the replay of every single thing that they had been through together- every single sacrifice that he had made for a child who was not even his and,  every single bit of love that he held for Felix, even though it was slowly but surely dwindling.