𝙨𝙞𝙡𝙫𝙚𝙧 | yuki s. x reader fanfic

forty-five - you

maybe this is selfish

╔═══*.·:·.☽✧ ✦ ✧☾.·:·.*═══╗

|"Why... why do people keep leaving me?"

You were standing in the middle of the road. The sky was darkening, moment by moment - the sun was disappearing from your view with every second you spent with your feet rooted to the ground.

You were fortunate that this road you were standing on was not very popular with the commutation of cars. Maybe a bike here or there, but no big vehicles, really.

What were you doing?

You... didn't know. It was almost funny. How everything that just happened led to you standing here. You have never had trouble deciding things before, so what was so different this time? Why were you hesitating?

You swore that a moment ago, you were still having a nice chat with Mayu-sensei. You had felt like she could empathise with you, even if it was just a little. It was something about that melancholic voice she was using when she talked with you.

During the conversation, you weren't talking to Mayu-sensei. Both of you were conversing as if you were friends, perhaps friends who haven't met up in years. She listened to all you had to say, from people always existing by your side just to leave over and over, leaving you all alone in this path you walk.

"All except for one, no?" She had said. She knew. She had read your student report like any good teacher would have. She cared. She was concerned.

This felt all too familiar.

But something about those eyes and the way she had listened to you told you that you could trust her. It's easier to confide in strangers, right? And what did Mayu-sensei really know about you? Not much.

So you decided to listen to what she had to say.

"If you're feeling empty, perhaps you haven't dealt with the situation completely. People come and go all the time. It's normal. What's important is the goodbyes you give. We already have enough to regret in life - I've been there many times. Too many to count." She tilted her head.

"Did you give them a proper goodbye? And I don't mean running away before you say all you want to, you know?"

When you heard her utter the words 'proper goodbye', something within you clicked. You knew what you had to do.

You had to see him again.

You had to apologise. Do not leave him hanging, ever. Even if he was never going to be by your side again. Even if you never see him again. You had to explain everything.

You blinked once, and it slowly dawned upon you what you had to do next. You had to find him. Talk to him.

Well. All of that was easier said than done. You sighed heavily, not liking what you were going to get yourself into. Nevertheless, it was important. Both for yourself and him. Proper closure.

"Thank you, Mayu-sensei. That really helped me clear my thoughts." You offered a small smile - you still had much to do. All Mayu-sensei did in response was return the smile, waving her hand as if it was nothing.

When school ended, you immediately flew out of the classroom with your bag, rushing to leave the compound. No matter what, you had to find his house today.

You had to find him.

But who were you doing this for? You kept telling yourself it was to give him and yourself proper closure, but why does it feel like there's more to this than that...?

╚═══*.·:·.☽✧ ✦ ✧☾.·:·.*═══╝

but i want to see you once more.

words: 614
published: 29/12/2021