Twilight: But it's a Thriller and I Never Read Twilight

Chapter 18: What's Left Behind

I woke in my bed, the warm light of my bedside lamp casting a soft glow over me. The blankets that wrapped me were tight and trapped in more heat with every moment I laid there. It took me a second to assess what had happened, where I was, and how I'd gotten there, but as it all came flooding back to me, I only wanted to lay back and die.

Edward had told me in his own odd way why he was leaving me, but I still couldn't comprehend it. He left me because of the danger a few curious town's people posed. It shouldn't have mattered. He should have been able to run away with me and never look back. Slowly, I sat up, imagining the conversation again. It was my fault. I wasn't enough for him, and I never could be. I didn't understand why he wouldn't turn me into a vampire or why he cared so little for me as to leave, but I knew somehow that it was my fault.

I breathed in deeply, wishing all of this would go away, this dark and lonely feeling I had that no one would ever love me the way he did. I hated myself with every fiber of my being. Tearing the blankets off me, I looked around myself for some sense of what was happening and landed on the chair by the door.

Charlie was sitting in it, slumped over and sleeping in an uncomfortable angle. His eyes were lined with dark circles, and I stopped myself from my spiral to look at him. He must have stayed there all night waiting for me to wake and now we'd managed to find ourselves sleeping and awake at different times. I swallowed back all the self-hatred burning in my head.

Edward had told me no one would ever love me, but here was Charlie leaned up and waiting to make sure I was okay. He didn't understand what I was going through, that was impossible, but he understood something of it. I tried to imagine him the day Renee walked out, bags and a baby in hand. I imagined the rain, the never-ending rain and his glum, quiet face as he watched her go.

I cleared the regret from my throat. "Dad?" I asked, pained and weak. "Dad?"

After a second, he moved, stifling a yawn as he blinked his eyes open. He cracked his neck as he moved, pulling himself out of that hunched position and stretching out all the kinks. Quickly, he noticed me awake and jumped toward the end of my bed to sit next to me. I sat there quietly for a moment as he rubbed a callused palm across my leg.

"What happened, Bells? I didn't even realize you left the house until I couldn't find you for dinner," he asked, leaning in to hear my answer.

I shook my head, my own kinks slowing my movements. "I'm sorry," I said, my voice hoarse.

"Don't be sorry, Bella," he said. "Just...I want to know what's going on with you. You got hurt yesterday and didn't get to go to the prom. I'm sorry."

He was trying to make sense of it himself, but how could he when he didn't know how I felt. He didn't know how important Edward was to me. I shook out my weaknesses. "Edward's gone."

"He broke up with you?" Charlie asked, looking a little more concerned. It had been a long time since he was a teenager, but that look in his eye told me he understood some of the pain I was going through. He understood losing a first love like it had been so many years since he'd even thought of that pain, but it was still there.

"He left," I said. It wasn't that he just broke up with me. He'd taken my heart with him and left a gaping hole inside me. It was as if he controlled every beat of my heart. I'd turned every cell of it over to him and he'd left with it.

"I'm sorry, honey," he whispered. He reached out and wrapped his arms around me as tears welled up in my eyes again. I didn't realize I had any more tears left, but a few spilled free as I buried my face into his shoulder, holding onto him for dear life. I shook with every ragged breath and fell apart with my Dad by my side. I didn't have a heart to be broken, so he was heartbroken for me.