"The only thing that keeps me sane is either violence or fucking... so unless you wanna bend over for me, I suggest you let me go." He whispered harshly against my neck, pressing me more against the wall with his body, making my breath hitch.
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Caden POV:
Seeing her rush out of my room in this state shouldn't bother me, not when I was the one to push her away. So why the fuck did it feel like someone was stabbing me in the heart over and over again with a fucking knife? I tried to ignore the pain, but it was far too noticeable. This, mixed with the events of earlier tonight had pushed me over the fucking edge.
Pushing my hand through my hair, I tried to take control of my frustration but to no avail, it was hopeless.
"Fuck!!"
Letting out a roar that was full of pain and anguish, I swept my hand across my study table, sweeping all of the contents on it on the floor. My laptop, games, along with other shit that was on the table scattered all over the floor with a loud crash. But I couldn't find it in myself to give a damn.
My mind is reeling, my thoughts in complete disarray.
How the fuck did I manage to fuck my already shit life?
I don't understand. I wanted this. I wanted to push her away, to make her hate me – that had been my fucking goal. Everything I did, everything I said to her, was supposed to lead her to hating me. Like the fucked up shit that I am, I wanted to see the same pain in her eyes that I am feeling.
Tonight has been an absolute shit show. Just thinking back to the events that led up to me shattering Anaya beyond fucking repair had my mind whirling with darkness and anger.
Simon was gone.
And it was my entire fucking fault. My sick obsession for revenge has put the lives of everyone around me in danger. One had already paid the price – with his life. Shaking my head, I walked out to my balcony. Putting my hands on the railing, I looked up at the night sky.
Few hours...
That's how long it took for my life to crumble around me – for everything to come crashing down. And worse of all, it came at the moment when I had decided to leave everything behind me.
Walking away from Anaya that night had really fucking hurt. In such a short span of time, she had taught me that it was okay to need others; it was okay to appear weak. All my life, I trained myself to be fearless, to be someone who didn't need anyone. To save myself from the monsters, I became the very monster myself. But she showed me a new way of life. It made me wonder of all the hate and vengeance that I carried inside myself.
'Are you so driven by revenge that you're willing to put the life you have just gotten back on the line?"
The question Anaya had asked me that night had played on replay in my head for so long.
Was I?
Was I willing to risk everything?
Was I willing to risk losing the girl I had come to love?
