'where we are now' remus lupin & regulus black

Change (In the house of flies)

After a few minutes of quiet between us, the only sound being Xeno's constant hum of a tune I don't recognize, I figure I can use this opportunity to ask about a certain boy who has appeared in my thoughts more than once.

"Hey, Xeno?" I ask, gently tapping the boys hand that lay on the table, aware he would be in his usual somewhat dream like state. "What do you know about Regulus Black?" I continue once I know I have his focus. "He's a Slytherin."

"Oh yes. I have not spoken to him a lot but he's a kind boy. He helped me find my left shoe once, but he threatened to hex me if I told—whoops!" Xeno clamps his mouth shut before shrugging and continuing to eat his food on his plate.

"He doesn't seem very kind,"

"I suppose you wouldn't notice. You've had a lot going on this school year. Though you seem to have a lot going on now too," The wizard taps his temple lightly, suggesting he's referring to my mind. I find myself not caring at his observation though, as I am not egging him on to discuss my problems.

I hum over his response.

After a few further minutes, I give up on trying to finish what's the left on my plate and stand up to leave. Intentionally not announcing my departure.

☽☽☽

The library is quiet, much to my relief. Most students are still having frivolous conversations over lunch while I bury myself in the corner of the library I know will be the most isolated. So I sit slouched in my seat, burying my head in the book Slughorn recommended to the class.

Unfortunately I can only enjoy a mere ten minutes of peace before the table shakes slightly. I verbally groan as I tilt my head back, expecting to know the wizard that joined me.

"Amos, I really don't want to—" I run a hand through my hair as I open my eyes. I stop as I realize it isn't Amos who joined me. "What do you want?" I snap at the Slytherin wizard who I'm growing unwantingly more acquainted with.

"Not very friendly today I see." Regulus raises his eyebrows as he withdraws his work from his bag.

"When have I-no-you, ever been friendly?" I say, as I return my gaze to my work, though i'm no longer reading.

"Hard to even try to be when you won't leave me the fuck alone." Regulus mutters.

"Your pleasantries astound me, Black. But from our previous encounters when have I ever done what you asked? And you sat next to me," I tut.

"Blatantly never." He doesn't pay any mind to my last statement.

"Blatantly never, yes." I can't help but chuckle repeating Regulus. "Besides, I quite like how angry I seem to make you. You're very dramatic,"

"Dramatic?" Regulus glances up from his paper, his grip on the desk hardening.

"Yes, dramatic." I stare back at the boy, my laughter gone but the hint of a smirk toying with him. "You bloody Slytherins and your determination. You're the definition of a tortured villain, Black."

I'm mocking him, i'm bloody mocking Regulus Black. He sits up straighter in his seat, and snaps my book shut. His hands are scabbed and bruised.

"A tortured villain? What you think I wanted that? You think I want—"

"I'm aware of your story. The boy who's brother left, or whatever. And its Quite the story." I speak level-headed. I make it clear I'm not angry, just listing observations. I glance at his hands, "Is that why you like to break stuff?"

Regulus knuckles are now white, Im surprised he hasn't pulled a muscle in his hand.

"Are you quite done with your assessment of me?" Regulus questions, eyeing me with a look I'm sure most would run from.

"No." But I begin to stand from my seat, packing away the work i'd hardly even touched. I was only sitting down for about fifteen minutes total. "It's a shit situation. I won't act like I know about it because I wouldn't want someone to do that to me. But Merlin, what is so terrible that it give you the right to walk around acting like you're king of the fucking-"

Before I can finish my sentence, Regulus rises, pushing his chair back with a loud screech in the process. I think he despises how right I am. He spins, grabbing me by the shoulders as he slams me hard against him bookshelf behind me. This prompts my lips to in part surprise, but before I can even gasp, Regulus wraps his right hand harshly around my throat so I can hardly even emit the smallest of sounds. His head bends so his lips are by my ear.

"Keep fucking talking, yeah? See how much you really know," Regulus hisses, trying to push me further against the shelf. "Keep talking. I've been real bloody tolerant-"

"Tolerant?" I question before Regulus tightens his grip so I can't interrupt again.

"Yes tolerant. I've been tolerant with you so far, Sunshine. But see how far that pretty fucking mouth of yours can get you before I fucking end you, huh?" I voice no response, of course I can't, given that as long fingers are still wrapped around my throat, most likely blocking my airways. Still pinning me, Regulus' parts his lips from my ear, so he's looking down at me, who is completely at his mercy. If he really wanted to, he could squeeze just a little bit tighter and my struggling breaths would stop and my eyes would gently close.

Regulus can kill me.

He isn't going to. But the sheer fact that he could kill me, if he so desired, does things to me. So I stand, staring up at the wizard, getting off on the surge of power running through his body.

I need to maintain my enthusiasm before I give him the wrong idea--its just that its been a long time since I've felt so light and buoyant. The rarity of the feeling makes it more difficult to manage.

He stops when he feels my fingertips graze his side. I slowly trace the seams of his school shirt and Regulus' breathing hitches. He continues to stare down at me as I continue my delicate trace down his arm, eyes following its the path. He too, follows the path my touch creates until my hand lay a top his on my neck. Regulus licks his parched lips as he looks down to my face again. This time I stare back, my eyes glossed with tears from his hold on me.

I press my fingers into Regulus' own, he hardens his grip on my neck. He stares down at me in complete awe as my eyes close and I tilt my head backwards.

Just how he likes being in control, I like being under it. It's then I realize... It fucking turns him on too.

When Regulus releases his grip on my neck, I fall to the floor, coughing. And Regulus steps back so he's now leaning on the table we were just studying on, staring down at me as I try to steady my breathing. Though in a bad state, coughing and spluttering, bruises sure already forming on my neck, there's a hint of a smirk on my pale lips. And I hope he can't believe it.

He doesn't say anything when he leaves me a mess on the library floor. He leaves all his shit in the library and parts.

That night, I wasn't thinking about him or her or my nightmares.

But I also wasn't thinking of Regulus. Or the power he had over me, or how we both got off on the strange dynamic. But that fucking look of lust in his eyes when he pressed his hand harder into my throat kept replaying in my mind as I tried to sleep.

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song: change (in the house of flies) by deftones.
this song is so hot^^

be 100% honest, are we going too fast??