Through his Eyes

TWO

TW: mention of suicide

The sun rose, hues of burning orange and deep purple painted the vast sky, basking the city in warmth. The moon, still visible but quickly fading as the world rose from collaborative slumber, dreary heads stumbling as sleep kept them hostage yet, the only thing that laced Zephyr's eyes was insomnia: having difficulty in the action of falling asleep or staying asleep. The warmth from the sun was never enough to take away the cold sweat that ran down his body as a result of his distant mind. Always elsewhere with glossed eyes as if maladaptive daydreaming only occurred during the night for Zephyr; he couldn't escape its destructive realities.

—

I decided to get up at the sound of my alarm although I've been in and out of sleep since I got under my duvet. "5 am". I sighed. Another restless night, I don't remember the last time I slept soundly, not seduced by sleeping pills to induce 'artificial' sleep.

The last time I missed a sunrise was the day I lost my father. Sleeping since then has always been a dire time for me, resting didn't continue to exist after he left. He was gone but his memory remained and every night my mind indulged in the idea of what could've been if he was still here. I don't even know if my memories will last. He would've taught me how to lead his empire, my life wouldn't have been a secret, a whisper that is unknown to the rest of the world. 'If only I was closer to him the moment he got...' Is all I can say to myself. I've never been suicidal but my mind puts me to the test.

I'm a reserved person, my own company is enough to keep me content. I used to be the opposite but that left the day my trust shattered. My mind keeps me busy, it's all fun and games until my thoughts start feeding off my fears; my head fills with darkness and it just progresses from there. That's when I'm starved of sanity and full of hurt and frustration. I don't mean to be selfish but it pains me every time I see families, happy families. When they laugh and smile. It all hits home a little too closely.

I breathed in, breaking free of my thoughts as I took in the sight before me, a cool breeze gently brushing my cheek. The sky was still a pool of colours, 'peaceful' I thought. I tied my hair back and went to washup. Wandering in mind wasn't going to get me to work, nor was it going to progress my search.

"Be mediocre and expect to receive mediocrity, be great and expect to receive greatness"- Alvaro DeNiro

Something my dad used to say.

—

Zephyr walked into his 'office' more or less hidden room behind Haydar's office. His cologne diffused into the surrounding. A woody musk travelled behind him as he advanced around his room, his shoulder-length black hair was slicked back, pieces of it falling over his carven face. Zephyr glanced at his desk, bathed in sunlight from the big open windows around his study. There lay a note. He recognised the blocky handwriting, it was Haydar's. 'He could've just messaged me? What's this...?' He wondered. Deciding to walk around to the back of the desk so he could get a better look, he observed the note. His eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

'I've got a lead, check under your desk'

'What? He's got a lead?! Why isn't he here'

Zephyr almost collapsed next to his desk to find whatever Haydar was talking about. His hand trying frantically trying to feel for the item. Scavenging for the item, his hand hit something on the underside of his desk. He peeled it off from under it to let his eyes fall on a small USB that read 'Alvaro DeNiro'.

Zephyr's heart flew out of his chest, what was this? Why did Haydar not call him? Where is Haydar and how did he find this after months of dead ends? He didn't have the answers to his questions but he knew he needed to see whatever was on this USB. Just then he heard the door to Haydar's office open. 'What? If he only just came in, how did he put this on my desk?' Heart pounding, he sprinted to the bookcase that connected his and Haydar's offices and hesitantly pushed it open, making sure it wasn't one of the lower-ranking members. The rich scent of heavy, spicy-aromatic oud wafted through the air. That was Zephyr's confirmation. He pushed through forcefully, not able to contain his excited yet disturbed feelings after seeing the USB, something felt off.

Haydar was taken aback by Zephyr's abrupt entrance. 'What was he so fired up about this early in the morning?' Haydar could only wonder what had got his best friend like this, especially after the amount of time he's spent with no leads whatsoever.

"Haydar." Zephyr heaved with concern, "Where did you find this?"