Why I hate you, Akaashi Keiji

4. Kiss me, Keiji

I got out of bed feeling like shit.

I haven't slept a single minute tonight. I just laid in bed and overthought everything for what felt like a couple hundred times. At one point I heard Bokuto coming home and checking up on me but I just pretended to be asleep, so he doesn't catch any weird vibes.

Even if Bokuto seems a little dumb to people that doesn't know him, he is really observant of people he loves and has a good sense of emotion.

Tonight I came to a couple of conclusions.

I kissed Akaashi. I probably kissed him because I was upset before, which is not ok.

I also, for the first time in forever, did not overthink stuff in the moment but rather just acted on my desires.

On the other hand, Akaashi surprisingly kissed me back. He held a lot of emotion in his eyes, which I can't quite read yet. And even if it is hard to admit, it felt incredible.

But for the most part there are a lot of questions in my mind.

Why did I do that? I know he is attractive but I can't even stand him... Right? Why was he so eager to kiss me back? Is he as confused as I am? Why am I even confused? I shouldn't care, right?

How will I act around him now? How will he act? Did I fuck up our relationship? What was even there to fuck up? We just hated on each other, right? So it should be no difference if I just act like nothing happend. Do I blame it on the alcohol? I wasn't even tipsy but he doesn't need to know that...

What if he tells Kou? I don't want anyone thinking I like him or any of that. WHY DID I EVEN DO THAT?

Before I could fall into this endless cycle again I repeated my plan in my head.

Just act like nothing happened and if I happen to catch him alone I will tell him to not tell anybody! I hope he is decent enough not to spread the word... I don't want people making fun of me or thinking I try to get my hopes up on such a popular boy with the way I look... I don't need those people who fawn over him to tell me I'm not playing in his league...

With that I left my room to face the outside world. Bokuto was already in our living room area packing a bag.

"Morning." I mumbled.

Bokuto turned around and smiles gently. "Good morning, Y/n. I hope you slept well!"

Yeah, really really well...

He started to walk my way. "Hey, are you ok? You look a little tired and also left without me yesterday." Bokuto started looking a little gloomy. "I'm sorry if you had a bad time yesterday. It's my fault. I asked you to come with me. Even if you hate me now, I want to make sure nothing bad happened. So... Are you ok? Did anything happen?"

I stared into his big hazel eyes in shock. I sometimes forget what a good friend Kou is... I didn't even think of his feelings.

A couple of seconds later I wrapped my arms around his broad torso and squeezed him in a tight hug. "I could never hate you, Kou. I'm sorry I left suddenly but I assure you nothing bad happened. Even if it did, it wouldn't have been you fault." I felt his hand on my head, caressing it. "I had fun yesterday, don' worry. I was just tired early and I didn't want to cut your time short. Thank you for bringing me and thank you being the best friend ever!"

With that I let go of him and saw his big grin. "Oh thank god, nothing happened! And of course I care for you, Y/n! I just hope you really had fun!"

After that we chatted for a little bit and Bokuto left for his Saturday practice, which almost occupies his whole day.

I love Bokuto. I really have to talk with Akaashi so he doesn't say anything that endangers this precious friendship we have...