Beauty of love (DISCONTINUED)

- 40 -

"You're worried about my memory not changing" she states, not a question, she knows. I slowly nod, eyes closing and her other hand goes to cup my other cheek, one I lean into because her warmth makes my heart feel so at peace.

Yet peace doesn't last when I can only think of all the things that can turn wrong, of all the ways she can get hurt. A lump forms again in my throat and I try to swallow it down, without success. Tears rise to the surface and down my cheeks and I hide my face in her hand, body shaken by silent sobs, ashamed for being so weak, so broken right now.

I just want us to be safe, smiles and laughter everyday. Is that asking for too much? Y/N's past is a fucking shit show and I'm about to make her future one too. How am I supposed to look her in the eyes and feel like I deserve to have her look at me with love?

Her hand slides to the back of my head and she pushes my face into her neck, and at first, I am confused, taken aback, enough to abruptly end my tears. What does she want? To comfort me? Or is she offering me her bare skin?

Her fingers start going up my scalp to massage at the base and I let myself relax under her caresses, so soothing and comforting, remaining tears soaking her shirt slightly, but she doesn't mind, doesn't say anything about it.

"I am safe, right now, Yoongi. I am where I want to be, with every single one of my soulmates. You are part of those I love, so dearly I love. You believe everything your fault, but it's not. You don't control life, you don't control the future nor do you control the past. I am yours and if that can help you see it, feel it, my skin is also yours to mark first".

My eyes widen and I lean back to stare at her, needing to make sure that she doesn't feel forced to offer me that, but when I see only love in shades of purples, my soul swells with adoration for her.

"Are you sure?" I ask her, not wanting her to regret it, to allow me to be the first to mark her... can I really?

She smiles and nods, head tilting back against Namjoon's chest to give me full access to her throat and my breath hitches at the sight, eyes meeting with the vampire's behind her, his warm gaze along with a nod of the head encouraging me to take the present she's gifting me.

"Go on, hyung, don't make her wait" he teases kindly and I huff, body losing some of its tension at being offered what my soul needs the most right now.

Y/N's giggle is all I need to lean in and nose at her throat, lips grazing the place where her pulse quickens, excited, expectant, maybe a little nervous but otherwise buzzing with contentment.

Already having an idea of where I want my mark, where everyone can see it, where hiding it won't be possible, I start leaving open-mouthed kisses along the column of her throat until I reach her left collarbone and just as I thought, when I mouth at the soft skin above the bone, it feels perfect.

Her hands clench on my arms, a small gasp leaving her when I lick the favored spot, as I relish in the thrill of being allowed this, how much my instincts needed this, unable to remain calm because of everything bad concerning her.

I was losing myself into a spiral of fear but here she is, so selflessly offering herself to me like that.

"My perfect little baby doll" I murmur, loving the way her heart skips a beat and after a little while of teasing her, of keeping the tension going, for my sake, my guilty pleasure, I sink in my teeth, a low moan leaving me as the connection uniting me to her intensifies, as her soul welcomes in mine, as her blood starts coating my tongue, the divine liquid simply... Indescribable. It is heavenly.

Knowing that this is no feeding time, I keep my drinking to a strict minimum, my instincts already starting to feel settled, less on edge, less panicked, less torturous and I sigh as I suck in one last load of her life essence before licking the skin to heal it.