Streams of Consciousness

The Beginning

        I woke up. Or at least, I think I did. Maybe I just happened to open my eyes. Or perhaps I had just been born...? It was a weird feeling at least. One that you yourself had experienced once in your life. You know when you need or want to lay down in your bed? Perhaps it is night time, or perhaps you just needed to rest your eyes. And you try to sleep, your eyes are shut, your body is still, but your mind is racing. And suddenly, your bed feels like a boat, swaying at sea. Or perhaps it feels as if you are on a tilt a whirl ride, spinning and swaying. You know that you haven't moved. You split your eyes open with only a sliver, and you can see that you are laying right where you rested before.

        That is how I had felt, but nearly almost in reverse, as if instead of going to sleep, I was waking up. As if life had been breathed into my mind, as if suddenly it was a new day. Now where was I? How did I get to where I am? Most of all, who am I? Well, I knew who I was... sort of. My name was Hudson Graves Jr.... Or is it Hudson Graves? I... I am sixteen years old. My mother is Maria. My father is Hudson Graves... or is he Jack Graves, and my mother Sofia? I am an only child. That I know for sure.

        I was born on January 17th. I don't remember what year. It seems like it was two different years. I am 5 feet and 6 inches tall. I weigh 120 pounds. I don't remember what I look like. I can't remember the last time I looked into a mirror. Why can't I remember anything?

        —The first emotion to feel so deeply was sadness. Oh, woe the world we live in, to silently live a thankless life, to work all our lives, and to die, forgotten by all except a few. Eventually, to be forgotten in time, no impact on this earth. The baby will cry and cry for us, will cry for the sadness we all carry, for it has the will to do so aloud.

        —The words flew into my head, as if I had spoken them aloud before, as if they were my own. I had felt them before. I knew the story. I... came up with the story. What was it called, what was it called? Anxiety washed over me, and I tried to scream. Wordless nothings came out of my mouth. I struggled to get up, to move. I tried to breathe, but it was as if all the air was being sucked from my lungs. I couldn't catch my breath... I can't catch my breath... I can't BREATH. My arms were tied down, and as hard as I tried, I couldn't even lift them. My body was paralyzed.

        I could see things moving in the shadows, and I could hear a humming sound, alongside a very faint sound of voices. Voices near and far, above me, below me. I looked around with my peripheral vision, trying to determine where I was. I was in a bed of sorts. I was surrounded by the feeling of fluffy pillows under my head, a luxurious soft blanket draped over me, and a silk sheet beneath me. I closed my eyes, and focused my ears on the faint voices.

        "...cedure has been completed for 3 days now. Subject in stasis. No neural activity resembling Subject 1. Subject either in REM sleep or awake. Nurse, check on the subject," a male voice said.

        "Aye sir," another male voice said curtly, and I heard a door open behind me, and a light turned on. I strained my head, craning my neck upwards, trying to get a glimpse of a face, something, anything!

        "Good Morning, Noon, and Night sir! My name is Lance Corporal Hooper! I am here to take care of you, and any needs that you deem ne-ces-sary! How are you feeling, sir!" the man said, quickly and loudly. I tried to sit up, to move, to make my lips move, but it seemed fruitless.

        "I..." I tried to say, but it came out dryly, my voice scratchy, coarse and rough.

        "Si-lence! You are not permitted to speak, sir! One blink for yes, two for no! Is that un-der-stood?" the man stated, his voice raising inflections at the end of each word and enunciating other words. I blinked once.

        "Aye sir! Do you wish for some chow and a glass of water, sir?" he asked me. I blinked once, and he saluted me, and marched out of the door. What a weird man, so robotic. I think the word is slave. No, soldier. Or both. I wished that I could sit up, but my body ached so much. Not that the restraints helped with that either. The soldier had left the light on, and I could see more of the room I was in.

        It was a very drab and bare room. There was a window to my left with the blinds drawn shut, a television in front of me which was turned off, a few lounge chairs near the window, and some odd machinery to my right. The machine had wires and tubes that seemed to lead... to me! One tube was filled with a dark red liquid that went into my arm, and another led to this bag full of a clear liquid. I had some weird wires and circle shaped things attached to my chest, which I now realized was bare. Now that I think of it, I'm not wearing anything! Oh the humanity! Thank god for that blanket.

        Attached to my finger was this clasping mechanism that also led to a computer. On the computer were a bunch of lines, with some moving and others remaining still. In the top corner there was a number that changed every now and then, but my head had not cleared enough for me to say what the number was or how relevant it was. Am I in a hospital of sorts? How did I get here?

        "Here is your MRE and a glass of water, sir! I will release your arm and torso restraints, so you may sit up and eat! If you are too weak to feed yourself, you will be fed! I will sit here, un-der-stand?" the soldier bolted out, placing a brown bag and a plastic cup on a small table I hadn't noticed. I blinked once, and with that, he swiftly undid my restraints, and pressed something on the side of my bed. Suddenly, my bed started arching forward, my back raising to a sitting position. I tried to lift my arms, but they were still useless, motionless with not even a twitch.

        "You require assistance, sir!" the soldier stated, and proceeded to grab the plastic cup and put it up to my lips. He tilted the cup upwards, and I could feel the cool liquid as it hit my lips. I hastily took a few sips, most of the water dribbling down my chin. He set the cup aside, and opened the brown bag, where he pulled out what looked like beef jerky and a hashbrown. He broke off a bit of the meat and placed it in my mouth. I slowly chewed the meat, figuring out that it really was bacon. After a few more bites of food and some more water, the soldier exited the room, leaving me unrestrained.

        I tried again to move around, to stretch, but it was futile, and I was left staring at a blank television in a quiet room. The soldier came back a few hours later, and did the same routine, feeding me, giving me water, and making me blink to answer. He then left again, and came back another few hours later, same thing. At this last time he asked if I needed to use the restroom. I blinked yes, and he carried me to a different room that had a toilet and a sink in it. After I was done he carried me back to my room, restrained me, and added something to the bag that had the clear liquid. Within a few minutes, I was asleep.

        —A beautiful girl grabs my hand, and pulls me along. I don't know where we are going, but she seems excited. I was excited too. We race through the halls of this building. I had been there before... It was so familiar. I say something to her, but it seems as if my voice came from miles away. Her laughter fills my ears, and my heart swells. She meant something to me... why can't I see her face clearly though? Why are we running? We kept on moving and moving, but it seemed like there was nowhere to go.

        Help me! Please! I don't know what is going on! I pleaded with her, my voice rebounding and echoing in my head, but she laughed on as if nothing mattered. Finally, she led me to a room of sorts, with posters covering the wall, lights hanging from the ceiling, and a glowing blue cord that was alongside the wall and under the roof, a blue rectangle in the upper corner. She then sat on a bed that was in the room, and patted a spot beside her. I took a seat, and turned toward her.

        I tried to see her face, anything that could tell me who she was, but it was as if I was in a movie, and anytime the main character looked at the person's face, the camera would flip to the back of that character's head. We sat beside each other for a while, the tension between us like a magnet, until I felt the urge to kiss her. I leaned forward, and our lips touched. It was like I had electricity running through my brain, and the last thing I remembered before I woke up was the taste of strawberries and the smell of her coconut scented hair.