Serendipity

Yes

We're almost done with the movie, but I've probably only watched twenty minutes of it, since I can only focus on Sydney in my arms.

His hair, which is soft and tickles my ear. His eyelashes, which are long and curled slightly up. His lips-

Wait, why am I thinking about those?

I swallow and glance back at the tv.

Sydney shifts and stretches his arms high above his head. "Damn, what time is it?"

I lift a hand and slip my phone out from my pocket, then wince at how bright the screen is. "Like...eight."

"When are we heading to bed?"

"I don't know."

"I thought you had everything planned out?" He teases.

"Well, I kinda did. I just didn't plan when we were going to bed."

He grabs my hand and slips his fingers through mine. I feel my face warm, but I don't pull away, enjoying the sensation of his skin against mine.

He opens his mouth to say something, then closes it as Moana approaches Te Ka. He smiles and snuggles closer to me, and the simple act gives me butterflies that flutter all the way up to my throat.

I swallow again. This is so conflicting.

My free hand slides away, sneaking up until it rests on his shoulder. He glances at it curiously, then at me.

He tilts his head, but doesn't say anything.

"Can I..." The words try to force themselves up, but I swallow more back. Is now really a good time-?

"Yes."

His response startles me.

"Wh-what?" I falter. He turns his head and licks his lips, and I see his eyes land on my mouth.

"I mean yes," He turns around in my lap so he's straddling me, his arms slung over my shoulders and forehead pressed against mine.

"I-" I glance down, at his lips, suddenly incredibly tantalizing. Super close, too. I wonder what it would feel like if I just...

He leans closer as I do the same, and then...

Our lips meet. Somehow he knew to tilt his head slightly so our noses didn't touch, but I'm just focused on what's currently happening- I'm kissing Sydney Summers. Right here. On my couch. In my basement. While Moana plays in the background.

His eyes slip closed, and I feel his hands behind my head, pulling me further into him. I don't resist, my own hands beginning to explore his back.

And then it hits me again. I'm kissing Sydney Summers. Kissing. Sydney. Summers.

And that's when the most convenient thing happens- I hear Mom's footsteps coming down the stairs.

Shit.

I push Sydney away and jump over to the other end of the couch in the span of a second. I glance over and see Sydney looking around briefly, confused.

"How was the movie?" Mom asks, and I see her backlit figure on the middle stair.

"Good," I say quickly. Sydney's head whips over to me. I catch a glimpse of something I can only describe as hurt flash across his face.

Guilt washes over me, running down my throat and filling me up. I can feel the butterflies struggling against the sour emotion, but eventually they drown, along with some of my pride. I look away, unable to hold his gaze.

The only thing running through my mind right now is 'why?', over and over again.

Why did I kiss him? Why did I have to jump away like that? Why did Mom have to come down right then?

Why does he look so hurt?

"Alright, well," Mom interrupts my thoughts, oblivious to the tension and the churning of emotions in my stomach. "I'll be in my office if you need me. Try not to stay up too late." I hear her going back up the stairs. "Have fun!"

And then she's gone again.

Shit.

"Look-"

"Hey-"

We both say and stop at the same time.

I clear my throat. "Uh, sorry. You go ahead."

"I-" Sydney coughs. "I just want to apologize. I should've-"

"Wait," I interrupt him. He flinches. I scoot closer, then pause. "I was gonna apologize."

"But it isn't your fault," He sighs.

"It-" I shake my head. "It isn't your fault either, though."

"But I'm the one who-"

"It wasn't just you!" I blurt, then clap a hand over my mouth. I feel my face flush. "I leaned in too."

"But-"

"Just-" I interrupt him again, coming close enough to take his hand in mine. "Let's just both apologize at the same time, how about that?"

He snorts softly. "Fine."

"Alright, ready? Three, two, one..."

"I'm sorry!"

"I'm sorry!"

I stare at him, and he stares right back for what feels like forever. His dark eyes feel like they're taking out my soul and flipping through it like a book, seeing everything.

Then he breaks the spell and pulls away. "I'm... gonna go take a shower."

"Okay," I nod and follow him as he stands. My knees are wobbly, but I don't let him see that. "I'll show you how to work it."

---

I lie in my bed, staring at the ceiling as Sydney uses the shower in the bathroom next door.

I got the vibe that I did something wrong the minute after I pulled away, but also that Sydney was hiding his feelings.

I purse my lips.

My mind replays the kiss.

I groan and blush, covering my face with my pillow and kicking my bed, like a toddler throwing a minor fit.

"Why did I have to ruin it?" I hit my head with the pillow. "She wouldn't have even seen anything if I just pulled away a little! Why did I have to jump away like that? Oh my goodness I'm so stupid."

He probably hates me now.

I groan again and hit my pillow. It really doesn't deserve the abuse, but it's better than hitting something alive, isn't it? Like myself? Or the wall? But the wall isn't alive, so that's not a great example. Argh, never mind.

"My lips weren't even moisturized or anything," I realize, and my heart does an awfully dramatic stutter as I clutch the pillow closer to my face.

So that kiss was probably terrible— some crusty, dry lips. And his were super soft and gentle and—

"He's never gonna kiss me again," I moan.