To Bask in a Ray of Sunlight: a XiaoAether fanfiction

Chapter 22

Aether.

Two days.

I was once again standing at the nest of the Alcor's mast, just like when I last saw him, screaming my name.

I wiped my tears away,

Along with my memory of him crying miserably--

Alone.

It has been two days since we started sailing to Inazuma. Yet here I am, relishing the pain that I inflicted upon myself like a fresh wound.

If this is what I felt, considering that I, myself, was the cause of this....then how much pain did Xiao felt that day?

I hate myself. Of all things that I've done to Xiao, this is so far the worst.

I laughed, despair surfacing out of my mind. He must've hate me already for sure, I thought.

I shook my head. No, this is good. Cutting ties with him like that will give me a greater reason to leave this world. A place full of unpleasant memories will make one's departure easier despite their ties with it.

Especially that even the sight of him makes me want to betray my sister and stay with everyone else here.

Still, I do think I have the right to question my sister's authenticity. Magic can do wonders, after all.

Which explains my departure to Inazuma. I might at least gather some information about the unknown god there. If things got lucky, then I might get something that can help me track her down.

I sighed. I think I left my heart somewhere. I felt empty and tired.

The nest was too peaceful to think of anything other than what I've done. I should probably drink a bottle of wine for once. My eyes rested at the waves of the sea, blankly staring at its view as I relish those days where everything was fine--although we've only been together as a couple for days.

Happiness is indeed short-lived.

"You look tormented, Aether." A voice came out of nowhere.

I shrieked as I was expecting I was alone by the mast. I was about to jump off when I strong pair of hands held my waist, hoisting me up back into the nest. Kazuha set me down, removing his hands around me. "Lunch's ready." He said.

"We must go down, then--"

"With those bloodshot eyes of yours? Beidou might accuse me of making you cry." He rested his lower back at the edge of the nest, crossing his arms. "Do you wish to share what's bothering you?"

"But Beidou might be waiting-" He cut me off again.

"Garbage cans."

"Garbage what?" I'm a garbage, probably.

"I believe every people is a garbage can. Every one of us has garbages inside as a sign of our pent-up emotions," he pointed at me with his thumb,"And in your case, your garbage is overflowing. We're not that numb, Aether. We can see that you're not fine since you flew to the Alcor." He sighed. "Yet here you are, running errands for people and even joining a tournament just to ride this ship."

"I.....just have to." I looked down, avoiding his eyes. I can't tell him even if I want to. "I'm just hoping that every decision I made is worth it."

"I consider it as fate." Kazuha gestured me to go down from the nest through its ladders made out of rope, taking the lead.

"Fate...?"

"Yes, fate." He offered his hand for me to hold after landing just as graceful as his words. I took it, jumping off the ladder unto to platform as well. We then started to walk, taking the stairs down to the dining area. "I believe that our life had already been written in the stars. Every step one makes puts them nearer to this 'written' outcome; it will be the end of a chapter in your life as you've reach it." He stopped right at the doorway, turning around to face me.

"That outcome, however," I muttered. "Isn't always a good one."

"I don't think so. I do think that every outcome is a positive one. Thus, your journey will never end with misery. If you think it does, then probably your journey isn't over yet." Suddenly, a yell was heard from a distance. Both of us looked around to see who it is.

"It's already getting late! Aether, Kazuha, get over here and eat already!" Beidou said, slapping her hand against the tabletop as she sips a glass of beer.

"Alcohol in a broad daylight? How unusual." Kazuha returned his gaze to me and smiled. "Good thing we talked long enough. Your eyes look better." He turned and walked away from me, reaching Beidou's table. He sat along with the other members of the fleet.

"Paimon, it's lunch time." I called. As expected, she showed up infront of me. She floated around, probably a bit worried for me.

"Paimon thought you'll cry for days," she said.

"I can. Do you want me to?"

"No! That's not what Paimon meant....it's just quite concerning that you're not that devastated as Paimon anticipated." Paimon floated away. I followed through, her back towards me as we went to Beidou's table.

"......do you want me to?"

"Ugh, nevermind!" She pouted, sitting at the edge of the tabletop near Kazuha's place. I sat beside him to at least be near around Paimon. Paimon, however, seems unappreciative about my presence. She took half of my meal and ate it within seconds, chewing angrily.

I do feel like crying again...but I feel like I have no time to care about my emotions as of the moment. I must focus on taking this chance to find this god, whoever she is--and see the other side of this story.

I'm hoping that my sister is just lying--if that was even my sister in the first place.

If she's lying, then......I can stay here.

"No, Paimon, don't bite Aether...."

"But he's been sleeping like a log...."

"Is that how you usually wake him up..?"

"Yes, I'm his companion eversince he came to this world."

"PAIMON!" I wailed as I sat up from the sudden pain from my arm. I raised it, seeing a small bite mark near my wrist.

"They said inflicting pain will be worse if you do it where the bones are more prominent." Paimon smiled, her face distorted into a smug. "Paimon didn't noticed you were half-awake..hehe..."

My face wrinkled. "Right. And when did you become such a doc......tor......" I went back to reality.

Right.

"Is something wrong, Aether?" Kazuha asked, stopping himself as he was just about to open the door out of my bedroom.

"Yes, I......just remembered something." I said.

"Oh...uhm....." Paimon panicked. "Paimon didn't mean anything, really. I just want to....."

"It's okay, Paimon. I understand." I stroked her head.

Still, Kazuha looks wary from my actions. Even so, he didn't dared to point it out. He opened the door and walked out, motioning us to follow him. "It was indeed a rough night last night from keeping the ship in one piece. But here we are," we stopped right at the deck of the ship, clearly seeing the unusual yet astonishing view of the nation.

Probably my last hope in staying here.

"Be careful here in Inazuma."