When I Sleep | ✓

[five] miles and miles away

it's been 6 months but i've finally updated <3 please read the author's note at the end! ignore weird mistakes and typos and enjoy the chapter xx

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10:17 am

I wrapped my arms around myself as I stood by the backdoor, waiting for AJ to do her business. In the couple weeks since Archie left, the skies seemed to keep an infinitely gray color. And not just in my eyes – the weather corresponding with my life mood was pure coincidence.

There's a profound sense of loneliness here in the house, despite having AJ here to keep me company. It was nice having family around for a while before I had to come home. Still determined to keep my thoughts from wandering off to wallow in sorrowful thoughts, I invited Sarah over for breakfast today. It was my way of trying to deal with all my pent up feelings.

I cried all my tears, vented all my feelings, and temporarily slept away all my problems at Luca's house. Now I'm treating his leave as another one of his ways to ignore me. Same old Archie, same old routine.

 AJ trotted over to the looming tree in the corner of our yard. I adored that tree for many reasons: the beauty of its leaves during the fall time, the shade it provided in the summertime, and the entertainment any visiting children could find in its towering figure and strong branches.

Maybe it was Archie's tree fascination that made me look at a tree with a loving perspective.

I scowled. Even with something as simple as a tree, he could still infiltrate my thoughts.

Our conversations, as few as there were, remained evasive and meaningless. The majority of it held snarky, sarcastic remarks exchanged between the two of us. Archie adamantly continues to deny any motives of pushing me away, claiming that he's busy with work and trying to support us. Ari was still a touchy subject and something he avoided as much as he possibly could. The fact that I still couldn't get him to listen to me brought me closer and closer to breaking.

 This business trip in particular was the one who gave a big push in that direction, taunting me with the confirmation that Archie and I have made no progress in fixing our problems.

I rested my head against the doorframe, groaning.

10:34 am

"You know what you should do?" Sarah asked me as she took our dishes and walked towards the kitchen sink. I stretched my body and looked up above the side of the couch at her. Breakfast with such a great friend had been a nice little distraction from the bummer mood I've been stuck in for a while. 

"What should I do, Sarah?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

She turned with a thoughtful expression after shutting the faucet off. Her face brightened as she came to a final thought and answered, "You should go home."

I blinked. "Aren't I already home?"

Sarah shook her head and came to sit next to me, taking my hand eagerly. "Not this home. I mean home," she said with emphasis.

My pressed my lips together and I  stared at my friend, conflicted. "Go home?" I whispered.

She shrugged. "Why not? I think it would do you some good getting away from here."

I didn't stick around long enough at the home Sarah was referring to. My most faded memories are from my hometown, as well as the most impacting ones. It's where my family and I used to live, back when we were still a whole. The scarce but fond memories were the only things I had to come back to, but my little cousin Riley and her family are currently living there.