Operation Holiday Cheer - A Spy School Story

Chapter 22: Day IV (Confusion, Confusion, Confusion)

Georgetown

Washington, DC

35th Street

December 21st, 2015

1355 hours

Catherine POV

"Bollocks!"

"You good?"

"Argh... damn it all!" I cursed, shaking the slush off of myself. Another lorry had driven by, and unfortunately had gone through a puddle of "slush," as Alex called it.

"Stupid lorries," I grumbled. "They can't drive just a metre or so further from the curb?"

"Aw, it ain't too bad," Alex said with a grin.

"Says the one that isn't half-drenched!" I retorted.

"Touche, darlin'. Touche. Besides, the truckers don't exactly have a lot of room to maneuver."

"So, while your father is stalking your daughter and eventual son-in-law, what should we—"

"Hold it, hold it," Alex interrupted, staring at me. "Did you say 'eventual son-in-law?'"

"Oh, please! Don't act like you don't ship it!"

"Well, I do, but at the same time, I still believe in personal agency. This is something those two need to figure out on their own, Cath," he explained.

"Well, I suppose... but what if we—"

"No, Cath. We are not arranging their marriage. But what if Ben and Erica... you know... got together and—"

"Alex!" I gasped. He could not be suggesting that!

"What? I was going to say we could just take everyone on an outing and just nudge them into a private setting gently. What did you think I said?" he asked.

"Er... nothing!" I squeaked out, feeling mortified.

Unfortunately, while Alex was more vocal about his nefarious thoughts (i.e., innuendos and such), it is I who has the dirtier mind.

'Catherine, you absolute imbecile! In what world would your husband, the father of your daughter, suggest that?!? It sounds more like something you would do!' an angry-sounding voice screamed in my head.

No, I'm not telling you what it is. It's far too embarrassing.

'I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY!'

'You just had to train with the SAS, didn't you?!? Gaz, Price, MacMillan, and the like?!? You had to work with them, didn't you?!? I told you to go for a calmer division, but noooo, you had to go paramilitary! You had to try out operating rather than some more intelligence collecting! You had to try the most outlandish thing possible, despite not having an ounce of experience with special forces! No wonder your mind's dirtier than a lorry full of rubbish, you stupid arse!'

'Oh, bugger off, you damn git! It's not like I—wait, run that back. Did you say husband?!?' I thought, with "the voice's" initial words only just registering.

'Oh, please! You're head over heels for that man, you idiot! Why did you keep your married name?'

'... strategic advantage?'

'See, that's what you would like to think, but no! You just missed your dear, dear husband! An American, of all things...'

'HEY!' I mentally replied, seething with anger. 'He may be an American, but he's MY American! Who are you to come up with such nonsense?'