The Five Year Marriage Contract

Chapter 1

‘What do you mean by that?’ I hissed quietly. The anger burning within me made me stand up quickly and I banged my head against the wooden panel above. Gosh, darn it! I rubbed at the sore spot where I already felt a lump forming. This day was turning out rather horribly and it was not what I had been expecting at all.
I heard Adi shuffling about for a few seconds and then he sighed out loud.
‘Exactly what you heard me say. Don’t pretend to be ignorant Liyah. We both know that that is something you are not.’ He tried to sound bored but I could hear the nervousness veiled within his words. He was even more uncomfortable about this than I was. But he had no right to be. Everything was his fault and I was the victim here! And if he was not happy about this then why was he demanding this sort of thing anyway? He could run away and forget about everything. Just as he had always done when things became too much too handle.
My hands were beginning to tremble and despite him not being able to see them through the darkness, I folded my arms as I tried to get a grip on my quaking emotions. This was not a done deal, as yet, and the only reason I wasn’t sobbing at the absurdity of Adi’s declaration was because I was trying to think up a way to escape this ordeal. There had to be a way out. I only had to find it!
‘This is so unfair!’ I whisper-screamed.
Adi sighed again. ‘There is no way out.’ His voice was firm, arrogant. I rolled my eyes at him. Sure there was, I wanted to scream at him.
I tried to think again. Although, eventually I realised that he was right. Nothing else would work except for Adi having a change of heart. If he took my feelings into consideration and found someone else to replace me? But how was I going to get him to do that? Constantly whine? Beg? Asking him upfront would never change anything. It could even cause him to harden his resolve.
I clenched my jaw when the realisation that I could not ask anyone else for help without sounding insane hit me. My opinion or reason for refusing him were not applicable here. Even if I claimed to not have any feelings for him, it would resolve nothing. Love was considered unnecessary in the beginning and everyone always said that it would develop at a later stage. So, I could not use that as an excuse even though that was what I was afraid of. Falling inlove with Adi! I had cared too much before and...no! I did not care about Adi Bashara!
I sighed out loud, feeling defeated. I had no power here. It was he who held all the cards right now. Worst of all, everyone would take his side in this matter. They would even label me crazy. Which sane woman ever refused a Prince! And which good Muslim girl ever disobeyed her elders? Right now, I would be expected to be grateful for this opportunity anyway. So what then was my last option? To run away?
It could work but the relief of the escape would be fleeting and worth nothing in the end. I had no where else to go and the only friend I had ever had was standing a few feet away from me. Only now he was someone else and I couldn’t pour my heart out to him. He would never help me. So anger and whining were my only options. How pathetic! Tears pricked my eyes and not for the first time in my life, I longed for my parents.
‘I expect you to fix this. Immediately! I will not be forced into anything. Especially not something like this.’ My voice cracked on the last word. I heard him muttering something to himself. Narrowing my eyes, I tried to make out his features but it was hopeless since we were completely shrouded by the darkness. The scariest part was how I could not sense what he was feeling. Too much time had gone by and with it, the connection we had once shared. I no longer knew who he was or what he was thinking. The thought was crushing and only made the idea that I was truly alone more concrete. I had no one to call my own.
‘No. Why would I do that? You heard what you have to do. There is no other option here, only the fact that you should prepare yourself for this momentous occasion. This is an order and I am not asking for your decision on the matter. You will go through with this.’ His voice carried authority not to be defied. I flinched, feeling my resolve suddenly crumbling away. This was not a proposition. It was a decree!
‘You cannot tell me what to do. This is the twenty first century. I have rights!’ I muttered uselessly. Adi sighed heavily knowing full well that my words were only empty threats.
‘You may have rights but they are worth nothing compared to my word. But you already know this and... you also know that there is no way out of the arrangement. Just accept the fact that you cannot run from this. Your whole life has been leading to this very point anyway.’ He drawled. His voice dripping honey. My skin tingled with goose bumps. I couldn’t help but wonder, if his voice affected me so then what was going to happen when I saw him out in the light? When I got to look into his deep mesmerising brown eyes? What was I doing? Thinking like that was only going to turn me into a fool. Again! But I could not stop myself. Was he going to look like the boy I had cried for when he abandoned our friendship? Or was he going to be a real life image of the handsome hunky playboy who had been featured every month on gossip magazines for over eight years. I sighed inwardly. Adi had changed. That much I knew. The only question was what kind of change was it?
I shook my head to bring my thoughts back to the present. ‘What does that even mean? Do you expect me to just give in to this unwillingly?’ I scoffed. From everything I had heard so far, there was only one thing that did not make any sense. Why me? And after eight years, it just did not add up. He didn’t even have any feelings for me, much less like me!
‘Yes. Do not make me order you to do this Liyah. I will not repeat myself.’ My jaw clenched. He would never. Would he? If he ordered me to marry him, saying no, even thinking it would not be an option. It would be equivalent to committing treason.
His threat made me boil with rage and the need to punch him in the face was overwhelming. But he was right, nothing would help my case and maybe it was the bond that we had once shared, or fear, that kept me from lashing out. I knew that there was no defying him. Or the crown for that matter.
Tears stung my eyes as I shook my head again. It really was hopeless. I could not go against this. The only path was to accept it. I felt the fight leaving me. The adrenaline that had kept me pumped up was slowly ebbing away.
‘You don’t want this.’ I whispered, ‘Why would you force this if you gain nothing from marrying me?’ I was truly curious but Adi did not answer me.
Footsteps from above could be heard and the quiet chatter between my uncle and his advisors pricked my ears again.
Eavesdroppers never heard anything good about themselves. The quiet part of my mind suddenly admonished me, I should never have come here in the first place.
Hearing five men, your uncle and aunt planning your wedding without your consent or knowledge was more than something just bad. It was horrendous and so so gut-wrenching. How dare they do this to me! I felt as though they had betrayed me and my only purpose so far had been this. Like a Cornish fowl, a bird that was fed and looked after like royalty and then when it was fat enough, you would kill it and then cook a marvellous feast.
I turned to peep through the hole in the metal grate that served as a form of ventilation for the secret passageways which were under the palace floors. The grate was on level with the floor and provided just enough light for me to see into the room above. I just barely made out the man and woman who had raised me. They were smiling and talking animatedly. Their voices amplified through the grate.
Uncle Ali and auntie Fatima were happy about this arrangement and would expect me to feel the same way. Did I even have the right to say no, after all that they had done for me? After they took me in? The tears I had been holding back ran down my cheeks.
My father had been a loyal and most trustworthy advisor to the king of Bahrain - Adi’s father. He had been living here with them in the palace until he journeyed to Britain where he met my mother. An ordinary girl, but he fell inlove with her and they got married. They were a happy couple and were very in love. I was told.
Soon after my birth, they left me here to go back to London for something concerning my mother’s family but they never came back. There was an accident that had claimed both  their lives and I was left all alone. My mother’s family refused to acknowledge me and for some reason her parents actually blamed me for losing their daughter. My father had no relatives on his side so there was no one I could go to. That was when Adi’s father, King Ali, decided that I was to live here. Even though I called him Uncle, we were not related by blood. He had taken me in because of the respect and love he carried for my father.
I was truly grateful for everything so far. However, even though I was living a life of luxury, it came with a heavy price - my whole life so far, I had only ever been within these walls. It was a lovely and beautiful palace. A paradise compared to anywhere else, but it felt like a cage to me. Not once had I been given the chance to go out of the palace gates on my own. This was the life of a Royal Muslim girl.
The worst part was how I couldn’t even complain about feeling like a captive because the way uncle Ali saw it, there was no reason for me to leave the palace because I did not need anything from the outside. Everything was provided for me. I had a private tutor, private doctor, private tailor and private whatever else I needed. All here within these walls. There was no need to go to a school or even to go shopping for essentials.
Adi’s parents provided me with everything; a home, love and support. And so much more. So I stayed put and never once voiced out my feelings of being stuck here even though the loneliness got to me most of the time. I always asked myself if I was crazy for craving something more...
I leaned back against the cool hard rock behind me. This place was the only thing that kept me sane. I was only five years old when I discovered these tunnels under the palace floors and explored them on my own. It had become my own world down here in the darkness until I met Adi Phillip Bashara and introduced him to this place. Back then he was my only friend and so I trusted him with this secret place. He had been amazed about this unknown world that I had introduced him to and I became his best friend after that.
Now, I realised that it had been inevitable. We were bound to grow close. We had been the only children within these walls. if he only liked me all those years ago because I had shared this place with him. Or had he only tolerated me for some other reason?
Adi was not what you would call a kind-hearted person. There were times when I doubted he even had a heart at all. He was ruthless and arrogant. The nail in the coffin being the fact that he was next in line to be king and so he felt entitled to whatever he wanted in this world. How unfortunate that five year old me had been too naive and a fool to have looked up to him, admired him and even believed he cared about me.
I grew close to him all those years ago and it only took a few weeks until we became inseparable. We were never apart for more than a day. I remember how his parents had often joked that some day we would get married. It was a silly idea between us back then and we had laughed over the absurdity of ever being married to one another.
Adi had often told me that when the time came for him to marry, he would choose a beautiful exotic creature. Not the brunette, pale skinned, oval face and hazel-brown eyed me. According to him, I was too plain and simple to be married to a prince and was more suited to join the army because of my quick wit and feisty attitude. He claimed that I was not wife material. I had often agreed enthusiastically. I always thought that I would never marry Adi because if such a thing ever happened then it would ruin our friendship. But I had been wrong. Adi was the one who had ruined everything eight years ago. And it was not because of a marriage proposition but because of his selfishness.
‘Do you remember how much we despised the idea of us ever being married? It had been so funny to the both of us and we had laughed over it for...for days?’ I ask him but he does not reply. ‘Only now it isn’t just some joke. Why? Tell me why?’ I ask him. Hoping that he would give me an answer.
He sighs. ‘You don’t need to know why, Liyah.’ Is his only response. For a second I almost think that he was walking toward me but just as suddenly, he stops and retreats back to where he had been before.
‘During these past few years I am sure you must have met someone, maybe even fallen inlove while you were abroad?’ I ask as images of all the magazine articles concerning Adi’s romantic life flare through my mind and I feel a pang of something deep in my chest as usual. I sigh, acknowledging for once that it was jealousy so I bite my cheek to distract myself from dwelling on the thought.
‘If you must know...it is none of your business. I’m leaving now. Go get dressed. There will be festivities to plan and a whole other load of things to do. I’m sure my mother is looking for you right now. You know it’s best not to keep her waiting.’ His voice starts to fade away. He was running from this conversation.
A few moments later a crack of light illuminates the room and then darkness takes over again. I slump down onto the cool rock. Adi had left me without any answers. Again!
I breathe in deeply and think of how my future would look. I would be married to Adi and my fate as a prisoner in the palace would be sealed forever.
I start to wonder about how his mother always looked so happy when she too hardly did or went anywhere for herself. She never left the palace unless it was to attend some event to represent Bahrain. But then she was inlove with Uncle. Her marriage was not the same as what they thought Adi’s and mine would be. Adi was not capable of love and ours would only lead to chaos and unhappiness.
Maybe Aunty would help me out here. She was the Queen and had a small say in whatever Uncle decided. I could convince them otherwise. I was not a good fit for Adi. I was not future queen material and I was definitely not good-wife material.
Feeling my way back through the darkness, I climb the few stairs and find the wooden door that was concealed behind a bookcase. I push the heavy door and it opens slightly. This was getting harder every year. I was no longer skinny and versatile. My twenty four year old body was getting curvy. Maybe I was eating too much of that sweet Indian rice pudding. I could hardly fit through the small space. The shawl from my salwar kameez catches on a nail somewhere and I hear the fabric tear. Darn it!
I hurry over to my room and mentally prepare myself when I hear Auntie Fatima, Adi’s mother, talking to my handmaiden-Sara.
‘Good morning, Auntie.’ I bow my head a little as I address the queen.
‘Liyah?’ Auntie’s face is a mirror of shock. Her thinly arched eyebrows were raised high and her almond shaped eyes were as round as saucers. I marvel at the fact that no matter how many years went by, she did not look a day older than a twenty five year old.
‘Yes Aunty?’ I ask her when she doesn’t speak.
‘Oh. Well, the girls could not find you so I came to see for myself. Where were you? You shawl is torn and you have cobwebs in your hair. Come, come.’ She gestures forward and I step toward her. She starts dusting the webs from my hair and then asks the serving girl, who had been standing beside the door all this time, to bring me a change of clothes.
‘Thank you, Auntie.’ I smile at her and step behind my folding screen to change into the emerald green ankle length dress with slits on the sides. It was a loose fit with long sleeves that ended at my wrists. There was also a matching pair of silk pants with a sash to secure at the waist.
‘There is something I need to tell you Liyah. Uncle Ali, his advisors and I were having a meeting just a few moments ago. I don’t know if you heard but Adi has finally returned home, and now we have decided that it is time to find him a wife.’ Her voice wobbles on the last word.
I decide to play dumb. Adi and I had already heard everything they had said in that meeting while we were in the secret underground passages.
‘Oh. When will you be able to go find the girl?’ I ask nonchalantly. She clears her throat and I step away from the screen only to find tears streaming down her face.
‘Auntie? Are you okay?’ my voice rises hysterically.
‘I am fine, my child. Sit here beside me.’ She pats at the empty spot on the bed beside her. When I do, she dabs at her eyes and then takes my hands in hers. I was nervous and my heart bounced like a tennis ball in my chest. I tilt my chin only to find Auntie looking me straight in the eye. ‘Liyah. We have all decided that you are to marry Adi. You are the right choice. He has finally come back and you have been the only girl that he ever had any interest in.’
That was not true and I begged to tell her but my conscience wouldn’t let me throw him under the bus. My heart also refused to acknowledge his flings while he had been absent. It was silly but I thought that if I did not admit that he was a  playboy then he really wasn’t. ‘You have been living here since the time you were born. It is your home already. We know that you are a decent, innocent and pure girl. Adi knows this too. That is why he has agreed.’ Auntie continues as she pushes a stray strand of hair under the hijab on my head.
Decent and innocent? Me? I couldn’t go a day without using bad language. Besides, I did not want to get married. Not now. And definitely not to Adi. I clasp my hands together and prepare myself to ask the question.
‘Auntie. I do not want to get married just yet. Doesn’t Adi have any other choices?’ I ask hesitantly as the thought of Adi married to someone else fills me with dread. But I do not dwell on the feeling as the woman in front of me shakes her head.
She waves away what I just said as though I were merely commenting on the weather.
‘I too did not want to marry when your uncle Ali came for me all those years ago. My mother did not listen to my complaints about not being ready either. Instead she told me one thing. Our age is ticking along. You must marry before you get any older. It will be easier on your body when you have children and so... It was the truth and I am glad that I listened to her advice. Anyway, it all worked out for the best. I fell inlove with Ali, we had a son together and I also became queen of this magnificent country.’
‘But what about my choices? What if I was inlove with someone else or something like that?’ I ask petulantly but Auntie Fatima doesn’t budge. She knew me like a mother knows her daughter. I had no contact with any men. No girl friends either.
‘Liyah. Don’t delay this. You were always told that you and Adi were meant to be.’ She gives me a wary look and my conviction wavers. This was news to me! She thought I knew about this arrangement?
‘I thought you all only said that as a joke or something and that was years ago. When we were children. I can’t marry Adi. I don’t know who he is anymore. Besides, we don’t love one another.’
‘My dear child, why do you think you were tutored so thoroughly in political affairs, manners and all those other things that helped build up your confidence, character and mould you into the perfect candidate? Those were to prepare you to be Queen one day. Did you not wonder why you were also so guarded all this time? Not that we did not trust you, it was to keep you safe, protected. This marriage was always going to happen. Your father and Ali had agreed on this the very day you were born. As for Adi, trust me when I say you know him. He is the same boy you played with. The same boy who used to steal cupcakes for you when you were little. And love is always where you least expect it to be. Come now. Your Uncle wants to see you.’ She wipes the tears from my face and for a second I feel like running away. As though sensing my thoughts, Auntie Fatima takes a hold of my hands and pulls me gently through the doors.
As I follow her back to their private wing, my mind drifts away to memories of the past.
It was true that Adi and I had grown up inseparable. We were always playing together and maybe once upon a time I did think I felt something for him but things changed as time passed and then when he became a teenager, his behaviour took on a new route. Gone was his consideration, he was too rough and carefree and worried even less about how he treated those around him. He had become snobbish, demanding and he even put on airs.
At first I did not mind how he blatantly ignored me and treated me as though I were invisible. Until I realised that it was because I meant nothing to him. No one did. As long as he got something out of you then only did he show you an ounce of attention. So I pulled away. I secluded myself and he never noticed my absence. Then as though there were nothing meaningful here for him, he left.
I remember that day clearly. As though it were just yesterday. I was sixteen years old and Adi had just turned nineteen. He had actually come to my room that day and knocked on the door. One of my handmaidens, as usual, was standing beside the door. She opened it and let him in. I was quite surprised to see him there. After so many months of no contact. We had seen one another at meal times but never engaged in conversation.
In my foolish mind, I had hoped that he was going to tell me that he missed me. And maybe that he wanted me to be his friend again. But that was not it. He had only come to say that he was leaving and that his parents wanted me to come with them to escort him to the airport.
I had wanted to ask so many questions. Why was he leaving or where was he going to go? But the words were stuck in my throat and had lodged there. So I kept quiet and followed behind, meekly. I felt as though I had no right to ask or demand anything from him. I was no one to him. Not even a true friend on his part, it had seemed. And so instead, I let him go.
‘Aaliyah?’ Auntie Fatima calls and I smile to reassure her that I was okay. She gestures forward and I walk into the living area of her private wing.
The circular room was as extravagantly decorated just as any room in the palace. Huge fire places set on opposite ends. High vaulted ceilings. Big windows with heavy expensive curtains hanging beside them. The floors were covered in white marble and the walls were tiled with beautiful patterns bringing in a burst of colour in the room. Indoor plants not only helped bring it all together but also brought life into the room as well.
This room was a familiar one since I had frequently visited Auntie ever since I was a child and so, I was immediately set at ease. Luckily we weren’t doing this in Uncle’s study.
‘Ahh Liyah. Come, come my child. Have a seat.’ Uncle Ali calls to me from the plush round couch that surrounded a table laden with fresh fruit.
I bow my head slightly and follow his order. Auntie takes my hand in hers and brings me to sit between the two of them.
‘I am sure you have heard about Adi’s return?’
I nod my head. It was never easy for me to just speak with Uncle Ali casually. He was the king and it still spooked me to know that he took me like a child of his own. Even so, I never allowed myself to get to familiar with him since I respected him too much and it only felt right to keep things this way.
‘Has your Auntie already informed you about what we have decided? Fatima?’ he looks at his wife and she gives him a wide smile. ‘Excellent.’
He puts a few pieces of exotic fruit onto a plate and hands it to me. I take a small bite and he smiles when I do. Just then the clack clack sound of shoes against the marble floor nears us. The left door opens and Adi steps in. He was wearing a pair of slim fitting black pants and a white collared shirt. His hair is no longer the shoulder length style he had when he was nineteen, now it was cut short on the sides and the hair on the top of his head has more length. The modern style suited him very well. The rest of his looks were almost the same. His olive skin glowed golden whenever he passed through the sunlight streaming in from the glass windows. His chocolate brown eyes were focused and captivating. His lips pulled up slightly at the corners as though he were enjoying a private joke. He had grown even taller these past eight years and even more handsome. His shoulders and chest had broadened, his body looked more fit and that just made him seem more masculine. 
Breath taking was the right word to describe Adi Phillip Bashara.
I bite the inside of my cheek to stop myself from rolling my eyes at him.
‘Adi!’ Auntie Fatima stands to give him a hug. I keep my eyes trained on the floor. No way was I going to look in his eyes.
‘Son. Have a seat. We were just telling Liyah about the wedding next month.’
‘N-next month?’ I stutter. My eyes widen in alarm. I look at Auntie only for her to nod and pat my shoulder encouragingly.
‘Yes Liyah. We will have to start festivities soon and then too, Adi has suggested that it would be a good idea for everything to start next week. The sooner the better.’ I turn to Adi who has an unreadable face. I feel my cheeks burning up under his stare. He was waiting. He wanted to see what I would do.
‘Why is it so rushed? Won’t people think it odd, Uncle?’ I ask nonchalantly.
‘Bah! Everyone will be rejoicing in the fact that Adi has returned home. This marriage will only solidify the fact that he is here to stay.’ Uncle Ali laughs but you could hear the nervousness he was trying to conceal. He did not trust his son. They probably thought that Adi was going to leave to America as soon as possible.
I look at Adi again. His face still unreadable. Did I really want to marry him? Why was no one asking me if I was even okay with this? As though I were anything to him except just a childhood friend. How did that equate to anything more and enough to build a romantic relationship on?
I was beginning to feel panicked and claustrophobic. I needed some air.
I put my hand against my forehead and stand up.
‘Uncle Ali and Auntie Fatima. I am feeling a bit overwhelmed. Can I please retire to my room?’ I ask shakily. I needed time to think, but most importantly, I needed some time alone to properly digest the news. In a months time!
‘Are you okay?’ Auntie signals for a girl to come forward. She brings me a glass of cool water. I take it and thank her. She bows slightly and retreats back to her station.
‘Yes. I just need some rest.’
‘Alright. You can go.’ Uncle Ali says. His thoughts preoccupied elsewhere too.
Just as I turn to leave, Adi stands up and walks toward me.
‘I will walk with you.’ I bite back the urge to tell him off. Instead I just bow my head silently and walk slowly to the door. If only I could escape, run! But where would I go that Adi couldn’t find me?

As soon as we enter my quarters I start to close the doors behind me but Adi puts his hand between them and I stop.
‘What is it?’ I ask angrily. His eyebrows scrunch together and I take a step back as he pushes passed me. He sends Sara, my handmaiden, away. I give her a pleading look as she walks passed. I needed some kind of support but we both knew there was no defying Adi’s orders.
‘We need to talk.’ He tells me.
‘About what? How you’re forcing me to marry you?’
‘Liyah...’
‘No! You don’t have the right. You left for so long. You never looked back. You never even replied to any of my letters. All you ever thought of was yourself. Besides, I have these to prove just how much you enjoyed yourself in the States,’ I head for my closet and pull out the box with all the Discover magazines which were hidden under all of my towels. Each one had pictures of Adi with some hot model on the cover. All of them blondes, by the way. He had gone to so many parties and events with a new girl draped on his arm every time. I had actually lost count of how many there were. ‘Why don’t you ask one of them to marry you? I am pretty sure they know more about who you are, more than I ever did. Or rather answer this instead, why did you come back now? No one needed you to come right this moment!’ I shout at him as I fling all of the magazines at his feet.
He picks them up and flips through the pages.
‘All you’re doing is complaining. You still have yet to come up with a proper reason for refusing the marriage proposal. Not that it would matter.’ he mumbles after selecting the oldest magazine and then waves it in front of me. ‘This, by the way, is only proof of you having kept tabs on me. I’m flattered that you care so deeply for me. More than friendship it seems. Why, again, do you not want to marry me?’ Adi looks at me curiously and I feel my cheeks heat up.
Was that true? Had I really kept all of those magazines with articles about him because I had feelings for him? Did I? That couldn’t be true. Although now that I thought of it, he was right. I had no real solid reason to not marry him. Love was not important in a situation like this. Every royal in Bahrain had arranged marriages.
‘I don’t want to marry some man who thinks he can just order me around. We were only friends a long time ago. That was it. We will never share anything more than that.’ I spit out.
‘Mmm, I see. Do you know what happens soon after we marry? No? You have to give me an heir. To protect Bahrain’s future. That will make you share something more than just friendship with me. And still that is not an excuse. It is just you moping about. You say no one needed me but you live in this bubble Liyah. You know nothing about what goes on around you. Do you know about the constant fighting between the two faiths in this land? The chaos that has been increasing constantly in the cities these past few months? Do you even know about my father’s health condition and how it is preventing him from being able to do anything to help? Not that it is your fault. I know they love keeping you in the dark.’ He nods his head toward the door.
‘What about Uncle Ali?’ my voice comes out shaky.
He turns away from me and I cannot see his face. ‘He doesn’t have long. That’s all I am to tell you.’ Oh no! Uncle Ali was sick. Why did no one tell me anything? He was the closest thing I had to a father and I was about to lose him? No. That could not be. Why would they keep it from me?
I look at Adi again. He was looking at the photos on my dresser. Most of them were cut-outs from magazines. Places I wanted to see, things I wanted to do.
Adi had had the chance to do all of the things he dreamed of when he got his freedom. Him giving it all up right now for his father did not sound right, it was not the way he was. If he really cared about his father then he never would have left in the first place. I knew there must have been something else that called him back.
‘So that is why you’ve come back. For the throne?’
‘Yes. What else?’ Ugh! And here I thought that he had changed.
‘It wasn’t for your father or mother, or me. You’re here for what you can gain. Bahrain.’ I mutter under my breath.
‘Come again, I don’t follow.’ He tells me.
‘Oh Adi, don’t pretend. You know you only ever see someone for what they can offer you. If there is nothing for you to gain from them then you disregard the person. Like trash.’ My hands are clasped tightly together. I poured out all of the hurt I had suffered because of Adi in that one explanation. But he wouldn’t notice. He never could see the destruction he always left in his wake because he was the one who lived in a bubble. Free from life and its bindings. Free from responsibility and the after effect of his decisions. Blind to everything except only what he thought important.
‘Is that what you see in me. An arrogant, selfish and narcissistic man?’
‘Yes.’ I whisper.
‘I see.’ His jaw clenches and for a second I regret my big mouth. I should not have said anything.
Adi turns to leave but he turns his head and calls over his shoulder. ‘You were given to this family from the time you were born. I expect you to live up to the promises made by your father.’
‘What does that mean!’ my voice squeaks out.
‘Exactly what I just said.’ he starts to open the door and I voice the question that had been haunting me ever since he told me that I was to marry him.
‘Did you know?’
‘Yes.’ He states. His voice devoid of emotion.
‘For how long?’ I ask again.
‘Since forever, Liyah.’

                                     *****
It was true. I had always known that Aaliyah and I were supposed to get married. Why, in fact the very first day I had met her, she had been introduced to me as my betrothed. She just didn’t remember it because she had been too young when they had told us. It was annoying at the time. I was only eight and she was a measly five. She had hardly grown out of her cute baby fat and I had been expected to consider her as my future bride, future Queen of Bahrain.
I remember how infuriated I had felt about her running around in circles in my room as though she were already a part of my life. My father had chosen her to be my wife and it was irritating. I was not happy with the fact that that area, my future romantic life, had already been planned out for me. Almost everything concerning my future had been out of my control. It had all been done for me, planned out for me and so I refused to accept her as anything other than a waste of space and vowed to never open myself up to her. But then things changed. She showed me a place in the palace no one knew about and that made me curious about her. I had begun to notice that she too had felt like a caged animal and always went out exploring wherever she could. However, she had been smarter than me since she found the hidden passageways and it pricked my side for as long as I could remember.
As our time together grew, I started thinking differently and had even started liking her. I enjoyed her company more than I admitted to myself and I stopped blaming her. It actually took me a little while to actually realise that Aaliyah had done nothing wrong and our engagement had not been her fault. After that, I had become obsessed with seeking her out. We spent our days together and I would steal an endless amount of cupcakes to win her enchanting smile.
Years went by and she was always the first thing on my mind as soon as I got up. Despite our situation, we never grew tired of one another and enjoyed ourselves as much as we could. I smile as I think of all the times we were up to no good.
However, there was one part of our past that had always struck me. I had never been able to get over it and perhaps even now, I still kept holding onto this grudge. It was the reason why I never let Aaliyah get too deep under my skin because even though I liked her, I hated what she represented. A mapped out future and worse, a sense of duty and responsibility I could not run away from.
I only liked her...yes, as I got older, I took notice of her in ways I never thought possible due to all the caution I had taken to keep her from snagging my heart. It was astounding to realise that all of that had gone to waste. She had become a part of me. I resented that and tried to break free from that bond, however, I always knew deep down that no matter what I did or behaved like, I would always come back to her. I already belonged her. Mind, body and soul.
The saddest part was how I had always told her that my wife would be an exotic creature and she always laughed when I described the blonde beauty that would one day grace my arm. I had been trying to unnerve her or at least to make her jealous but she only found my taunts funny. She only thought of me as a friend and so I never brought up the fact that we were actually going to marry one another some day. 
As time passed by Aaliyah had grown up into a goddess and I often found myself imagining the way our future would be together. Her laugh and gentle voice kept me up at night and the scent of her made me dream of things I itched for whenever she was close. I wanted her...
Although, not knowing how she would react made me keep these feelings to myself.. So I pulled away. I stopped talking to her and ignored her presence. I knew it hurt her and it hurt me too but by then I was already inlove with her and knew it was only going to tie me down to my responsibilities if I gave into my feelings.
The next year went by slowly and Aaliyah had disappeared from my life bringing an only insatiable longing which drove me insane. So I decided to leave to find my own way in life and to accomplish some dreams that would never have come to pass if I stayed in Bahrain.
Just before I left, I wanted to see Aaliyah one last time. And despite my earlier madness, I asked her to come along with us to the airport. I claimed it had been my parents idea whereas I was the one who wanted her by my side for the last time. She was shocked to find out that I was leaving and the tears that she wiped away inconspicuously tore me to shreds. She was so beautiful even when she was crying. I wanted to renounce my decision to leave but I knew that if I did not leave then I would never be free. So my selfishness and recklessness took over. I needed to get away from the responsibility of the crown. And if I stayed for Liyah, it would have only reinforced the fact that I was ready.
So I left. Liyah had tried to contact me later on and in anger, I refused to correspond with her. Instead, I spent most of my time in the company of other women. Trying to drown her voice from my head. Her smile, her laugh, everything about her. But it had been futile. She had constantly haunted my dreams at night and every waking moment these past eight years.