If You're Not Busy

Chapter 29 Moving on !

Mariah just stood there like a statue not knowing what to say. Cat got your tongue? asked Tessa. NO! said Mariah I just don't know if I want to hear your explanation. Oh, right said Tessa a bit disheartened by the remark. Look I said I'm sorry a thousand times before you'd even exited my room. Please can we just sit down and then I will try to explain why I said what I said. I didn't mean to upset you. But obviously, I clearly did, by the look on your face you've been crying and that's the last thing I wanted to do was make you upset. She looked at Mariah with pleading eyes praying she would say yes. "Mariah" Come on hear me out if you don't like what I say then so be it. I'll have to accept your decision and walk away! I hope you don't just for the record though. Your good with your words said Mariah but you scare me! Why? Because I said something without thinking, that I didn't realize until afterward that it was the wrong thing to say at that moment? Mariah nodded her head. 

"Tessa" I gave myself to you willingly, and yes it was awkward and strange because neither of us had done anything like that before and I was nervous and didn't know what to do most of the time. Especially as we'd only seen that one movie together to give us an idea of what to do to one another. But when you said If I knew it was just that I think I would have done it sooner! My heart just sank. It made me feel like it would have been better with someone else and not me! No! No! I'm glad it was you said Tessa the only thing that had put me off losing my virginity was all the stories I'd heard growing up about first times are awful, how the person never cares about you, etc, etc.  But us doing what we did wasn't like that at all, it was wonderful, beautiful. amazing and I'd never felt so loved in all my life as I did with you. I didn't mean I'd have wanted to do it with someone else. I meant I could have done it sooner with you if I hadn't been so scared! "Mariah" You and I have a special connection. I know you feel it too. Don't you?

I want to see where this all goes for us and I'm hoping you will make that leap with me? And come along for the ride. "Tessa" Yes I do feel the connection your right, but I've had time to think since last night, And I've come to the conclusion that as lovely as last night was, we should concentrate on what we want to do in life and if things are meant to be then I'm sure we will find one another at some point further down the line! "Mariah" No! screamed Tessa please don't do this. Your my everything, I've never had a person I can really talk to in my life before. I don't want you not to be there. "Tessa" This is the only way I can do this! I need to make a clean break no going back! Just going forwards. I will miss you like crazy. Then don't go said, Tessa. I have to I'm sorry said, Mariah. As Tessa began to cry! Don't ! said Mariah trying not to cry herself. As she started to walk away and out of Tessa's life for the foreseeable future. 

When Mariah got back to her room she sobbed her heart out again. What have I done? I hope I've made the right decision? Are you mad? shouted Shelby down the phone at her when Mariah called her. All because of what she said? No! said Mariah it was mainly because I realized we had our whole lives in front of us and we shouldn't hold one another back. "Bull shit," said Shelby You may have just got rid of the love of your life? Do you realize that? Yes! said Mariah gloomily. But if we're meant to be then I know we will be in each other's lives again. Well, I bloody hope so said Shelby because I don't know if I can put up with all the tears and angst if you don't meet up again. Tessa was in a right old state when Mariah left and walked out of her life. She wasn't quite sure what had just happened? "Tessa" you are such an idiot sometimes, stuff comes out of your mouth before you have time to process it then you can't take it back. Then look what happens. Your world comes tumbling down around you. she walked back to her room in a daze.

The next two years were spent with their heads in their book's doing exams and working hard and saving money. Tessa's gig's got put into bigger and bigger venues in and around Boston as her name spread in the pubs and clubs. Mariah saw her name going up everywhere and even sneaked into a couple of them, and thought she was amazing. But they never meet up or talked to one another in all that time. It was a bit different for their parent's though! They had become great friends since Tessa had rescued Mariah and Shelby. Hell, they had even been on holiday together! They were both in town to watch the girls graduate. So they decided to rent a big house together and see if they could play cupid and get the girls to finally see they were meant to be together. Dena and Cindy had talked on the phone and said that every time the girls came home for a break they always talked about the other and wondered what they were doing. No amount of encouragement from either mom got Mariah or Tessa to change their minds.