The Bartender's Guide To The Galaxy

11 - Third Dates, Sans Assholes

Cabe's favorite breakfast joint was a diner called Over Easy. Upon entering, I realized the name mirrored the decorating style. Over the brightly upholstered booths hung a collection of risqué drawings, each one depicting barely dressed bodies in compromising positions. Most of them were bent over various objects—cars, desks, chaise lounges. One graphically detailed painting showed a naked conga line.

When we were seated, Cabe ordered us a Men in White coffee, assuring me I wouldn't need to add a thing. "I know you like a lot of cream in your coffee. If you don't like it, I'll drink it," he told me as I scrutinized him over my menu. "Everything I've tried here is good."

"I'm partial to waffles."

"Try the Belgian Cock Biter. It comes with a side of chicken fingers dipped and fried in their homemade batter."

"I've never understood the waffles and chicken craze. But I admit I've never tried it."

"This is the perfect place for that, if you're a virgin."

We were still smiling when our coffees came. I ordered the cock biter without the cock, after which we took to staring at each other across the table.

"I thought we could do a self-guided tour of the art deco district today," he said. "But I'm good with keeping things loose."

"That sounds like fun."

"Great. I've booked us an ecotour for tomorrow. We'll be kayaking around the inland waterway with a guide. It includes snorkeling. Does that sound like something you'd enjoy?"

"For sure."

"Sweet." He smiled as he brought his cup to his lips, and I found myself staring at his mouth.

"It's kind of weird being here," I said. "I had a lot of track meets in Miami during high school, and I grew to hate the place."

"I'd like to change your mind about it. It's not a bad place once you get your bearings."

"Mom's here all the time to visit her boyfriend, but she never asks me to join her because she knows I wouldn't be interested."

"If her boyfriend's a long-time resident, he probably knows more about the area than I do. Maybe we should give him a call."

"I know practically nothing about Anthony apart from his name. To be honest, I try not to get involved in my mom's affairs. It rarely ends well for me."

"So, you've never met him?"

"Nope. She doesn't even include him in her videos. I figure he's not into that fake bullshit."

"How do you feel about her leaving Daytona and moving here with him? The guy could be a con artist. Do you trust her judgement?"

His question had me revisiting all the times I worried about my mom when I wouldn't hear from her for a week. The only reassurance I got were the regular posts she made to her YouTube channel. "It's been a couple of years, so I figure he would have shown his hand by now if he had serious skeletons in his closet."

Our food arrived, and I gaped at the size of my cockless waffles. "Holy shit. I'll never eat all of this."

"That's what doggy bags are for, darling." Our waiter deposited a carafe of syrup on the table and winked. "You can enjoy it later after sex."

"This place is a hoot." I laughed as I poured on the syrup, and conversation slowed as we stuffed our faces. I was freaking starving, and I nearly polished off everything, stopping before I made a spectacle of myself.

"So, June. I am required to ask you if you're interested in finding your dad." Cabe covered his empty plate with a napkin as he pushed it away.

"You're required to ask? What does that mean?"