Medicine // Bakudeku Fanfic

Chapter 42: My Confirmation

"So, you'd rather pretend that you're fine?" He said roughly, his frowned stare digging onto my eyes. I aparted because I could not find the right place to utilize my Shoot Style. The disappointment, I swear I could distinguish it from him, but my wrath overcame the strength of his emotions even wider.

"Whether we hug, kiss, or have sex, nothing will change. You know that the best, Kacchan. It was all just mutual gain. We were each other's emotional support, like you said. Nothing more, nothing less." Dragging my feet backward, I managed to convey, handcuffs in front as a shield. He had a dull expression as if my words really stabbed through him, though there was no reason for me to regret.

"How dare you say that," the button on his fingers was pressed, low level of voltage shocking my body, resulting my arms in collapsing so defenselessly. My legs shook, but I did not crash. "Did you forget those days, the days before I stole your notebook?" He fastened his steps towards me, but I knew it was not an attack, it was for reconsideration that I listened. His shadow covered me entirely, as I raised my head up with shedding tears.

"When I didn't know anythin' about the notebook nor pills, I still looked at you in that way. Don't you remember? Don't you remember how I smiled at you? We were trapped in telling each other our feelings because of the people around us, but don't you dare forget about it." Squinting my eyes, I tried to recollect any important piece probably six years ago. Ah... I get it. Whenever my mom and Kacchan's mother reunited, we shared lovely bonds together, although I would say that was an old memory. The moment we spend time at the beach, the moment we got lost in a forest, the moment we rolled around the cliff from a blossom tree, and a sunny spring.

There was one precious memory that still makes me giggle for a bit. In my house I once hid inside the washing machine when we played hide and seek. Kacchan found me and he almost turned it on to mock me. Those times... those special times...

"But that was long ago... we're adults now," my nausea eventually evolved, curling up an unpleasant correlation within my stomach. My head was slowly absent, but I looked at him despite my constantly-shutting eyelids.

Kacchan's facial features seemed to have lighten up after I responded him. He must be grateful that I still remember, or still dared to be truthful and mention my accordance. With his palms, he grabbed my warm cheeks, giving me the most compassionate smile I have visualized from him for years.

"Yes... but I loved you. You know why? It was because you made me feel so strange. I always thought it was my guts from not eating enough, but I soon discovered that it was because I was flustered." Shit, my brain can not process anything. My muscles are getting tenser and tenser as I keep having tics from his voltage shocks. Along with the mild drug that is running through my blood cells, I am probably going to faint from this overwhelming atmosphere. That would be fainting three times a day, way to go for the No. 2 hero in Japan!

These physical feelings you felt, Kacchan, these "butterflies in your stomach" were anticipation. You wanted nothing more but to get rid of them by abusing my conflicted emotions. You were attracted to me in such vile manner that even your definition of love would not outmatch your violent nature.

How many times do I have to tell you? It's not love, it's a need.

It was going to be a sacrifice for my well-being, but I still brutally hit my forehead against Kacchan's, making me fall with a painful bump in-between. He did not have the same effects since he stood, groaning as he caressed in circles his fingertips over his front face. I was still in bewilderment from Kacchan's mysterious persistence.

Concluding it was the worst decision that I have ever made, my head pumped with awful suffering. The dizziness could not have gotten worse as my vision rotated and rotated after that collision. I saw Kacchan head up to me without difficulty, but with a simple bother on his forehead. I should have just kicked him aback.