Prescription Endangerment

Chapter 17- In a New Light

CHAPTER 15: In a new light- Darkness. All I saw was Darkness. Was this what it is like to be dead? Am I dead? A small glowing light began rising in the distance becoming brighter, and closer and soon it was close enough that when I blinked everything around me was bathed in a white light.

I blinked, and opened my eyes to see I was in an OR room. I looked down at myself and saw I was no longer in bloodied rags, I was in a beautiful white lace strapless gown, my hair no longer bloodied mats but in soft golden curls falling down my shoulders.

And my body was not cut, bruised, or bloodied, it was just me. I looked around the room I was in to see myself lying on the OR room table, a tube going down my throat my hair in a blue cap, and my eyes taped shut.

The heart monitor was beeping steadily, but slowly. I looked over at the other side of the table to see Jim in a blue surgical gown and his cap on, muttering things to himself.

Nurses and interns surrounded the table watching with suspense, and horror.

I looked over to see Gladys, holding my hand within her big gloved one sitting next to me. Where am I? I thought to myself and tears ran down my blushed cheeks. Gladys leaned over the table, and began stoking my hairline. "Come on baby girl, don't go. Make the right choice." She whispered and I tilted my head in confusion.

I heard my heart monitor begin beeping loudly and I saw my heart.

I was having tachycardia.

The white light came again flitting like a bird around the room until it got brighter and I blinked seeing my friends in the waiting room. They huddled together, sobbing.

Antonio was up, and pacing around the room, saying things in Italian. 'Oh Antonio,' I thought and reached a hand out to touch him and watched as my hand slid through him like a warm knife slides through butter.

I turned my head seeing Christine holding Christopher, and I longed to touch him, to smell him, to be with him.

I longed to be with them.

The white light came again just as Jim entered the room and began walking to them.

I blinked as the light became brighter and more intense, and then in the snap of a finger I was back in the black but there was a white light just sitting and hovering, and soon a shadow emerged from out of the light and is it got closer, a lump had lodged itself in my throat at the figure before me. "Mommy?" I asked softly, and she smiled taking my hand within hers and pulling me to her, crying along with me. "Mom? Where am I?" I asked her as I pulled away, still holding her hand. "Oh my sweet baby girl, you are in the In between. It is between Life and death." She said and I nodded numbly. "What do I do?" I asked her and she smiled sadly at me.

"Oh baby, I cannot make that decision, only you can. You are stronger then you think." She said and I shook my head. "No. No I am not. I will break if I go back. How do I live a normal life after everything I have been through?" I asked and she wiped at a stray tear. "Honey, you will never live a normal life, you learned how strong you are. Look at you baby. Look at where you came from and where you are today. If that isn't strong, than I don't know what is." She said and smiled.

And I thought about it, thought about every beating I had, thought about every tear that fell, thought about each blossom of hope I felt. I was strong, no matter how many times I was beaten down, I stood back up, and I would be damned if I let Riley take this from me.

"Okay. How do I go back mom?" I asked and she smiled, her eyes lighting up with joy. "Think about the people you love. Think about why you love them, think about what you want in the future." She said.

"I don't want to be apart." I said sadly and a tear ran down her glowing face. "Oh my sweet, sweet girl. We are never apart. I am always with you. We will see each other again. I love you baby." She said and smiled.

"I love you too." I said and closed my eyes picturing the people I love.

Antonio, Christine, Christopher, Laci.

I thought about each of their own traits, thought about memories I had with them that put a smile on my face.

I thought about the future I had always dreamt about, and as if a picture was before me I saw my future and I smiled widely.

I began walking to the voices that I heard when my mother called out to me. "I love you sweet girl!" she said and I smiled and turned to her seeing every single patient, I had attempted to save, or had saved that had later died side by side around her, including Harvey.

They were waving goodbye, and they were basked in the golden glowing light, and as I walked further away and closer to the voices, they became shadows in the distance.

I smiled and closed my eyes and let myself slip back in.