Some Things Cannot Be Fixed, They Can Only Be Carried

Chapter 14) Heart; Bent Into A Better Shape

"Suffering has been stronger than all other teaching, and has taught me to understand what your heart used to be. I have been bent and broken, but - I hope - into a better shape."
- Charles Dickens

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September 2nd 2014

Anything is possible.

That's what I've been holding onto for the past weeks, and the weeks left to come; I can't make the appointment yet, because just when I need him, Hiroshi's with vacation. He'll be back in ten days and I want to wait until then; I want the doctor who has helped Haruka and me through a year of ache and heartbreak, to be the one to tell me whether Haruka's possibly recovering or not.

But I must say, my hope has been taking over lately; every single time Haruka looks at me, or has a ghost of a smile on his face or giggles or cries, I find myself fantasizing about him recovering.

I start to spend even more time with Haruka, even though I'm home less because of my job at Iwatobi SC RETURNS. In between the hours that a house-nurse takes care of Haruka, I spend every single minute by his side; Instead of eating dinner alone, I eat beside his bed. We go out for long walks, watch movies together and we make little trips within Iwatobi Town.

Trips to the beach, or a nice field like the one we visited, or to the ice stand on hot days. Or, like today, I'm taking Haruka, Ren and Ran to Iwatobi SC RETURNS. Not to swim, I know Haruka can't do that so I won't torture him by taking him all the way down to the pool, but they're going to be watching from upstairs. Ren and Ran wanted to see how I give swim lessons at Iwatobi SC RETURNS and they asked if they could take Haruka with them upstairs as their so-called supervisor; in other words, they didn't want mom to come with them, because they're ten and they want to feel grown up enough to do things like this without a grown up. Mom probably didn't want them in a hall without a supervisor, thus they came up with this idea; smart-asses, because, yes, Haruka's legally a grown up even when he's not really suited to the job of supervising two kids.

I let it go, told them that was alright, and promised mom I would keep an eye on them from downstairs at the pool. If they are to break the rules, no ice cream afterwards.

And that's how we ended up gathering at the town's pool at nine in the morning. I took Haruka with me and got here by foot. We're waiting in front of the entrance until mom's car stops in front of the pool. Mom's making them promise to listen to me before allowing them to leave her car.

"Makoto, we promise we'll listen to you," Ran announces when she gets out of the car, at a volume that mom can clearly hear her; and Ran's clearly pissed off about being treated like a child.

Ren gets out of the car as well, adding, "But only because we don't get ice cream if we don't listen. Not because mom told us to, obviously." He crosses his arms, pouting annoyed.

I chuckle, walking over to them and the rolled down window of mom's car. "Don't worry," I quickly tell mom. "They're bound to listen to me." I smile proudly and tousle my siblings' hair. "My punishment is the worst thing in the world, after all. Because I still will be enjoying my delicious ice cream even if you don't listen." I chuckle, winking at mom to show her I can manage this.

"Unfair," Ren mumbles, and Ran nudges him in the side, because he shouldn't be acting all mope already. She tells her twin brother that, if they keep to my rules, they can still have ice cream after I'm done coaching my swimming class. This cheers him up, fortunately.

"Okay," I continue, laying my hands on Ren and Ran's shoulders, to steer them in the direction of the pool's entrance, before turning Haruka around as well. "Time to head in, my class will be arriving in just fifteen minutes and I still have to get ready." I turn around to mom one more time to tell her that I'll bring Ren and Ran home after we've enjoyed our ice cream.