Some Things Cannot Be Fixed, They Can Only Be Carried

Chapter 6) Change; It's Unfair Yet It Can Derail Your Life

"It may be unfair, but what happens in a few days, sometimes even a single day, can change the course of a whole lifetime..."

- Khaled Hosseini

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October 1st 2013

A new month, new chances; that's how I see it.

In other words, I've been trying to keep a high spirit over the past couple of days. All the changes in my life are getting me down; moving out of my old house while I'm not at all ready for that, giving myself the pressure of keeping my best friend living and breathing and everything.

It's a lot, but I have to do something to keep myself somewhat happy and hopeful, when all I can do is pray that Haruka comes back to me entirely again. So I'm trying to hold onto the good things; telling Haruka fun things that happened, I'm learning new things too and I'm going to be looking for a big house near the sea which will be so pretty that I'll forget about my old house within a day.

At least, that's what I tell myself. But deep down it's already harder than anything I've ever done, and the real hard part hasn't even actually started yet.

Today will be the day where I make a start for that change in my life.

Now that Haruka's parents have completely said goodbye to Haruka and moved back to where they were living for work, I can start to process of becoming Haruka's legal caregiver. They actually can't put me in that position until I'm twenty, but they made a change for me, promising that I'll be allowed to take in Haruka once I turn eighteen; in a little more than a month.

That's why my education and medical training starts now; taking first aid classes, memorizing Haruka's medication and helping out the nurses very morning and evening with Haruka's daily care is just a small part of all the things I have to do and learn before I can take care of Haruka on my own.

My day starts early today, with me sneaking out of the house at five in the morning to reach the hospital in time for Haruka's morning care. I made sure to talk everything over with Akasuki, checking whether it would really be fine if I came over so early in the morning; it was fine, smart even.

I get on the first bus that heads to Iwatobi hospital, since it's getting too cold to walk there every single morning. I drink my coffee while standing near the exit.

A yawn escapes from my mouth; it's so early, is this what I'm going to have to get used to if I want to be able to take care of Haruka? Because I'm sure I'll get sleep deprivation that way.

I shake my head, taking another sip of my coffee; it's worth it.

As soon as the bus comes to a stop, I get out, power walking towards Iwatobi hospital. Walking inside through the automatic doors and being greeted by the strong odor of antiseptics is like coming home by now. It doesn't feel off to wander through the hallways and I don't even need the signs to find Haruka's room anymore, instead I know the hallways and placement of departments by heart.

I trash what's left of my coffee before I knock on the door softly.

"Is that you, Makoto?" a voice sounds from inside; it's Akasuki, like I expected, but somewhere deep down I'm actually a little disappointed that it's her. I've been wishing to hear Haruka's voice again, each and every morning when I get here, just him telling me good morning.

"Yes," I reply, already with my hand on the doorknob. "I'm coming in. Is he decent?"

"Oh, yeah," she says, and while I open the door she explains that he's still pretty much asleep. "He slept all night, which he usually doesn't do, so I hope he wakes up soon so we can start feeding him."