Ernie and the Officer

Episode 9

Ernie: Go have fun and get ice cream on me :D
Ernie gives Dave 20 dollars
Dave: uhhh ok-
Aubrey: B-but.... My parents died 2 months ago in a car crash
Ernie: Wait What.... But.... No....
Aubrey: What? She says as she starts sobbing
Ernie: Your "parents" and my "daughters" parents were switched which means.... Audreys parents are.... Omg.....
Ernie pauses
Ernie: Wanna come meet your sister?
Joe: should we also leave-?
Ernie: JOE... YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE WITH DAVE
Joe: Idk you gave him money for ice cream and just told him to get some for you-
Ernie: Hey Fliar... wanna come meet your real niece....
Ernie: I MEAN BIOLOGICAL-
Dave: I got the ice cream
Ernie: How many did you get?
Fliar: Y-yeah...
Dave: Oh y'know 7
Ernie: Mkay everyoneee
Ernie: Back home we gooo

-$× back at granny's house ×$-

Ernie: Hey Audrey and Jack.... Come down here... We have to talk... WITH ICE CREAM
dave starts handing out icecream cones except fliar
Jack comes immediately, with red puffy eyes
Ernie laughs at Fliar before realizing that Audrey wasn't here
Dave: I still have 2 left who is missing?
Joe: uhh you forgot fliar
Dave: hmm?
Ernie: Audrey
Ernie calls Audreys phone
Jack just starts crying harder as he hears her name
Dave: hey kid why're you crying?
Audrey doesn't answer the phone
Jack: A-Audrey-
Dave: what happened to her
Jack passes out from crying so hard
Dave: HOLY SHIT
Ernie starts panicking and spam texts her WE HAVE ICE CREAM. PLEASE COME HOME. JACK MISSES YOU.
Holly: I think she left-
Holly goes into the bathroom and brings out Audreys phone
Holly: She left it
Dave quickly grabs the child and prepares to take him to a hospital
dave: WHY IS NO ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THIS KID???
Ernie: TAKE HIM TO THR HOSPITAL
Ernie messages her apple watch
Jack wakes up, perfectly fine
Jack: She l-left cus of m-me...
Dave: oh thank god hes not dead-
Ernie glares at Jack What. Did. You. Do.
Jack: I- The door quickly swings open, Audrey is there wiping tears from her eyes
Ernie runs up to Audrey and hugs her
Audrey: JACK! she runs in and hugs Jack very tight
Ernie: Uh... Ok...
Granny: welcome back, we have icecream
Audrey: I'm sorry... I was an idiot-
Ernie: Starts finishing his ice cream
dave gives her the icecream cone
Audrey: Thanks
Audrey sits next to Jack on the stairs, staring at Aubrey
Ernie clears his throat
Ernie: ok Audrey... Don't freak out...
Audrey: Yeah ok
Ernie: this is my biological daughter....
Aubrey: Uh.... Hi....
Audrey: Hi-
Ernie: And uh... This police officer here... That's your Uncle....
Audrey: I know, Hi Fliar!
Ernie: WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU KNOW
Fliar waves at her awkwardly
Dave: she knows him idiot-
Audrey: I'm not an idiot, unlike you
Ernie: I MEANT THAT HE WAS YOUR UNCLE
Dave: cus she knows him?
Audrey looks at Aubrey Audrey: Btw, just a heads up, your dads an idiot
Aubrey: I can tell
Ernie: So uh.....
Ernie: I have custody of both of you....
Ernie: So uhmmmm
Ernie: I have two girls now...
Audrey: this is Jack... he's my boyfriend...
Jack just smiles awkwardly
Ernie: And I hate him.
Audrey: No you don't
Dave finishes eating his ice cream and goes outside
Granny go back to her room to sleep
Joe just vibes
Ernie: So Fliar... I'm gonna assume you have the rights to that house....
Fliar: Mhmmm
Ernie: So can we move in there-?
Ernie looks over at Jack and Audrey Jack can have a key if he wants one...
Jack: Uhm sure
Ernie: Alrighty then
Ernie: Aubrey... How many rooms are in that house
Aubrey: uhhh 4?
Ernie: Alrightttt