Ernie and the Officer

Episode 8:

Elmo is on Berts bed
Elmo: I miss him already

{°+#|At Kermits House|#+°}
Bert and Kermit are doing very Pg 13 things

{=|•At Granny's House•|=}

Audrey: GRANNNNY! Do you know where Jack went? He's been gone for like an hour-
Granny: oh y'know drugs
Audrey: GRANNNNY!
Audrey: ITS NOT FUNNNY
Granny: yeah sorry he went to the spa
Audrey: W-without m-me ;-;
Granny: he uh saw bees-
Audrey: ???
Audrey: uhm ok
Granny: it's pretty brave for him to go-
Ernie slowly walks down stairs with black eyeliner on, in a black hoodie, and granny's black leggings
Ernie: h-hey Audrey....
Audrey: Dad, wth
Holly: You look ugly
Ernie: cringes We need to talk
Granny: BOY ARE YOU WEARING MA LEGGINGS
Audrey: Sure why not
Ernie: Not now Mom....
granny leaves the room
Audrey: Ernie what'd you need?
Ernie: I have to tell you something...
Audrey: uhm ok?
Ernie: You aren't my daughter
Audrey: I know-
Ernie: For how long...
Ernie:.... And you still called me dad?
Audrey: Since Jack read out the test results, right before we left to go get groceries, and we ran into your ex...
Audrey: Yeah-
Ernie starts tearing up
Audrey Starts tearing up as well
Ernie hugs Audrey
Audrey cries into his shoulder
Ernie: When Jack comes home we will ask him to help us track down your parents
Audrey: I-I never really had a-a dad...
Audrey: O-ok
Ernie: If you don't want to call me dad anymore, you don't have to
Audrey: wipes her tears and starts smiling Why would I do that, dad
Theres a knock on the door
Audrey: I'll get it
Ernie: Whispers Granny come here and bring your camera
Granny comes in and takes a photo
Audrey opens the door and the neighbors there, standing with some flowers
Audrey: Uhm Hi? Who are you here for?
Neighbor: I'm here for your dad.... Ernie
Audrey: Uhm sure
Audrey: DAD! Someone's here for you
Ernie walks to the door
Granny texts jack to come to the hospital
Ernie: Can I help you?
Audrey: Do you know him?
Neighbor: hi Ernie- I uhm- I brought you these—
hands flowers
Ernie: Takes flowers and blushes T-thank you ma'am
Neighbor: Y-Your welcome she's blushing very hard
Neighbor: well uhm, I'll see you around E-Ernie
Granny: my son has a girlfriend and I never knew
Ernie: SHES NOT MY GIRLFRIEND He says blushing
Granny: seems sus-
Ernie looks down and sees that he's still wearing granny's leggings
Neighbor has left the chat
Audrey: Dad?
Ernie: Y-yes honey
Audrey: I thought you were gay-
Ernie: I'm Bi :p
Ernie: Uh... Surprise
Audrey: OH ok
Audrey: :)))
*Then all of the sudden, the door flies open, and there's Jack, holding some tulips, and then he sees Audrey
Jack: Hey-
Audrey: Jack! she runs and hugs him
Jack: T-these are for you...
Audrey: TANK YOUUU
Jack: :))
Granny: aww young loveeee
Jack: GRANNY
Ernie is staring at Jack very intensely
Jack: Can I help you? he makes direct eye contact with Ernie
Audrey is still hugging Jack
Ernie: If you hurt her in any way.... You're dead....
Jack: I know, trust me...
Ernie: And don't mess with me....
Ernie: You don't know what I've done....
Ernie steps closer
Jack ignore him
Jack hugs Audrey closer
granny smacks ernie above the head
Granny: ERNIE HES A CHILD STOP OVERREACTING
Audrey grabs Jacks hand and drags him upstairs to a random bedroom
Ernie: AH FUCK NO
Audrey: Dad I swear-
Granny: ernie chill they ain't fockin
Audrey: IM NOT GONNA DUCK HIM
Ernie:..... I'm checking in on you in random times...
Audrey rolls her eyes and continues upstairs
Granny: ... so why are you still here ernie-
Ernie: Mom.... I'm gonna go track down her parents
Granny: welp you have fun with that
Ernie walks over to Joes house
joe is in his house
Ernie knocks on the door
joe walks up and opens the door
Joe: CRIMINAL
he gets ready to handcuff him and take him to the jail
Ernie: WAIT... Please... This is about my daughter....
Ernie: You can take me away afterwards.... Just please....
Joe: ...
he stops
Joe: what is it..
Ernie: It turns out I'm not her biological father.... And I want to find them.... Here's her parents name... Can you help me track them...
Joe: sigh  alright I'll help you let me gather some people to help and we'll get right to it.
Joe gets his radio and calls up fliar and dave
Joe: hey can you help me track down some people
Ernie runs up and hugs Joe, as he starts sobbing
Thank you thank you thank you
Joe: ...
very uncomfortable
Ernie gets off and laughs awkwardly
Joe closes the door
joe reopens the door
david on radio: I'll help
Fliar on the radio: I'll be right over there cutie
Joe: right so where do we start

{∆°•At Granny's House•°∆}

Audrey: I think we should talk, I uhm, I don't know where my parents are, and I'm afraid I might have to go soon
Jack: I know
Audrey: I don't want to leave you...
Jack: I know... I don't want to leave you either.
Audrey: I love you Jack, your like the family I never had growing up, Ernies like a dad to me, no matter how fricking stupid he is sometimes.
Jack: i love you too Audrey~
Audrey starts snuggling into Jack, he cuddles her back, they lay there for what felt like hours

Ernie slams through the door I KNEW MY FATHER SENSES WERE TINGLING GET OFF
Audrey: STFU
she buries her head in Jacks chest
joe is questioning all his life choices behind him
Ernie grabs Audrey and locks Jack in the room There
Audrey: DAD
Joe: :/
She starts tearing up as she sulks away
Ernie: NO BABY DONT CRY
ernie unlocks the door THERE, HAPPY?
Joe: is this how you parent :/
Ernie: SHES DATING SOMEONE IDFK
Joe: '-'
Audrey runs and jumps on Jack, hugging him
Ernie: Ugh... Come on Joe
Joe: okk where we headed
Ernie: Idk... That's why I asked you -_-
???: I think I know who your looking for....
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