(Book 1)I Have Chemistry With My Tutor

Chapter 11. Phoenix

                        Chapter 11. Phoenix

        I just stared at the couch next to where Seamus was sitting.  He was talking to me.  Even though I couldn't hear what he was saying, I was sure he was talking.  His lips are moving, aren't they?  When he noticed I wasn't responding he waved his hand in front of my face.  I wasn't phased.  My eyes were only seeing what was coursing through my mind.  Flashbacks of Richard and Lacey.  Kissing.  On repeat.  Rewind, play, repeat.  Kiss, jump off him.  Kiss, jump off him.  Kiss-

        SLAM. THUD.

        I blinked in surprise, eyes shooting towards the loud noise.  My tutor had slammed his textbook onto the coffee table.

        "There, I think I have your attention." He said, his voice distant to my ears.

        I turned from him instantly, not listening.  I grabbed the textbook from the table, practically ripping it from his firm grip.  I opened to a random page and asked in a hoarse stony voice, "What do you want me to do?"

        "Read about Exothermic Reactions.  If there's anything you don't understand, let me know.  I'll break it down for you."

        "Okay." I replied dully.  I did what he said.  I flipped to the chapter on exothermic reactions.  I read one dull word after another.

        "If your red eyes are no indicitation..." Seamus trailed off.

        "I'm fine." I retorted almost angrily.  When I saw the guarded expression on Seamus' face, I sighed.  "I'm not."

        "And you claim personal problems have nothing to do with failing grades."

        "Failing life, maybe." I muttered, holding the book up so it shielded my face from his.

        The book tipped down, pressure from the other side making it lower from my hands.  His fingers had wrapped over the top, forcing me to look at him.  "Let's do something else to temper your focus."

        "To temper my focus?  What am I, a pencil to be sharpened?"

        "Your tongue is already sharp enough."

        The corner of my mouth twitched upward, just for a split second.  I forced it back down into a frown.  "Chemistry dulls my point."

        "How do you feel about going for a walk?"

        I lifted my eyebrow, wondering what he was up to... "Walking is supposed to help temper my focus?"

        "I figured we should find something dull enough to put Chemistry 2nd on your list."

        "In that case, lets go walking in a cemetery." I retorted sarcastically.

        The look in Seamus' eyes amused me, a slightly narrowed look, his lips barely upturned in a puzzling smile.  As if he couldn't figure me out. As if I were a puzzle he was trying to piece together.

        "Sure," was his simple reply.

        I stood up and threw his textbook on the table, not caring if it got damaged.  I was in a very disrespectful mood.  For ugly things.  For things that reminded me of Lacey.  Of HIM.

        ~A Cemetery~

        The cool evening air bit into my skin in contrast with the warm sun.  My black leather jacket kept me warm, but not warm enough to melt my freezing heart.  Staring at all the gravestones wasn't helping crack that stone-hard reserve in my mind.  The thought of those deceased made me more appreciative for my life, with my family and friends.  It temporarily made me forget about Richard.  But it didn't empty the pit in my stomach, filled with precious memories.