May the Odds Be Never in Your Favor

{12} The Flower, the Pin, and the Kiss

Katniss' POV

It's always that first death that strikes you the most. It might not be the first death that you witnessed; or the first death done by your own hands--though they both have an equally meaningful impression on our lives.

But it's that first death that steals your innocence. That shows you how awful and cruel the world really is. Life isn't prefect. That death proves it. I remember the weight of Rue's body in my arms as I sung to her. My life has never been the same since.

And Prim has experienced that burden now.

She sits on the sand, looking out over the waves at something unknown. She hasn't moved from that spot in well over an hour. Peeta sits next to me, smiling a little. "Are you okay?"

I nod. "I'm fine. It's Prim I'm worried about," My voice is horse and raspy, but I pay it no attention.

"She's going to be okay too, Katniss." Peeta says. "She's just in shock right now. She'll cope with it at some point. Don't worry," Slowly, his fingers lase with mine and I grab a hold of them like a lifeline.

"I know she will," I whisper. "She's strong. She'll make it out of this,"

"Then why are you so upset?" Peeta asks.

I take a shaky breath. "How will she cope with my death?"

His thumb starts tracing the back of my hand. "Katniss, don't be thinking about that. As you said, she's strong. She'll go home and cope with your mother. And you'll be there too. Because you won't leave her. You will never leave your sister. Everyone knows that." He laughs a little. "You volunteered for her. You're volunteering yourself now. You're letting her go home, while you can't. She's going to be fine, Katniss. You set an amazing example."

A small part of me knows he's lying some what, because he wants Cory home as much as I want Prim home. But it's nice to hear--especially from him. Peeta and I have never truly left the Games. I don't suppose we ever will. Maybe that's why I'm not too upset about giving up and allowing this arena to be my tomb. Because under it all, I still know that Peeta's by my side. And he won't leave. Even before he knew me, he's been helping me. Does Peeta truly love me?

I think so.

I sigh and lean my head against his shoulder. "What am I going to do without you?"

"Starve," he mocks me from the first arena.

A smile tugs at my lips. "I wouldn't mind,"

Prim's POV

Back. Forth. Back. Forth. The water rushes against the sand, racing each other to the open water again. It's almost peaceful. Beautiful.

Almost.

"Prim?" I look up at Crusher. "Do you mind if I sit?" I shake my head and look back at the water. Crusher makes himself comfortable and smiles at me. "Are you okay?"

I silently groan. I've heard this question way too many times. "I'm fine,"

We're silent for a moment. "Did you know Heavenly well?"

I run my finger over the sand. "My sister turned victor only a year ago. I didn't have time to get to know her."

"Oh yeah," He runs a hand over the back of his neck. His face turns red and he looks away. "Sorry,"

I shake my head. "It doesn't matter."

"Of course it matters,"

"Not anymore."

We're silent again. Finally, he picks a small white tulip off the ground. "I went to tap a tree earlier with Area and Johanna, and I found these again. I know you liked them last time I got--"