Love's Victim

Part XV

Memories 

It's almost Christmas. Yesterday was actually the final day of school before Christmas break. I'm still upset from my encounter with Christian - it wasn't really how I wanted to leave things over the holiday. But nothing can be done about it now so onwards and upwards with the festive season I guess.

I used to love Christmas; it was always my favourite time of year. We used to go all out for it; my parents used to decorate the house and both the front and back garden. Every year, the week of Christmas, we'd watch a different Christmas movie every night, bake cookies, make and decorate an elaborate gingerbread house, go ice skating and go to the pantomime. And on Christmas Eve we'd put out milk and cookies for Santa, and carrots for the reindeer.

I smile at the memories, clutching my pillow to my chest tightly. My parents were busy professionals, borderline workaholics, but they always made time for me and Christmas was no exception. In fact Christmas was when they'd go all out; they'd always make sure to make it the best time for me.

But that's gone. Now, it just reminds me that they're gone. That they're never coming back; and that it's my fault. All that's left now is a bitter taste and the painful reminder of what was and what could have been. But what can never be again.

It's Monday - 4 days until Christmas. The weekend was a rough one for me; I tried to get some school work and revision done but it wasn't very productive. I ended up spending most of the time in my room. Emma and Martin try to engage me and get me excited for Christmas, every year. But every year I decline as politely as possible and just embrace the slump on my own. This year is no different.

The nightmares this time of year worsen as well. And last night was no exception. It's a wonder I didn't wake Emma and Martin up; but it's why I've been awake since 3am - unable to fall back asleep despite the fact I'm exhausted. Looking at the clock, it now reads 1pm.

A knock on my door forces my attention. Blinking slowly, I realise I must have finally managed to drift off to sleep for a little bit as my clock now reads 3pm. Emma walks in with a knowing, sympathetic smile. Another thing I hate about this time of year - their pity. I know they mean well, but I don't want their pity. It just makes me feel worse about myself.

"Lucy sweetie; I'm really sorry to do this to you but Martin and I have to leave for a few days - on urgent business. We wouldn't go unless it was absolutely urgent but we'll be back Thursday, on Christmas Eve. ... But do you want to come with us?"

Shaking my head, I almost breathe out a sigh of relief. Not to sound ungrateful but I'll really enjoy the peace and quiet; and the lack of fussing. "Are you sure?" She presses softly. "We hate to leave you alone, especially this time of year. If there was any way we could stay-"

"No, no honestly. It's fine. Go - I'll be fine."

"Ok; you know we're just a phone-call away so if you need anything - and I mean anything at all - call us. We've got to leave in the next half an hour, but in the meantime, I think you should go get showered and dressed."

"Oh - no, I'm just going to stay in today..."

"I think Christian has other plans."

"Christian?" I blink at her in confusion. "What?"

"A little birdie told me he's made plans for the both of you today; in fact, he'll be here in a couple of hours."

"But - didn't you tell me me to stay away from him?"

"Actually Martin did..." She winks, attempting to lighten the mood. Upon taking in my response, or rather lack of it, she sighs and continues. "Look, I'm no fool. And neither are you. I trust you to be sensible; and honestly ... I haven't seen you as happy as you've been in the last month or two in a long time. Whether we like it or not, you've made a bond with this Christian guy, and his friends. And honestly - I think you deserve to finally have some fun. So don't worry about Martin okay? Go get showered and dressed, and we'll be back Thursday."