I guess I love you | Eren X Levi

chapter 10

What were we gonna do!? I mean, it's my house, nothing very exciting. I don't have any game systems or anything fun for two teenage boys to do. I hesitantly reply though.

Me: Uh. Sure I guess. I don't have many things to do though.

I warned him through the last text. I included my address in the message as well and began to clean up a little bit since I've heard he hates messes, and I think he mentioned something about malls being filled with bacteria while we where hanging out the first time.

All I had to do is wait now. The house was somewhat clean now and all I had to do is make sure that everything wasn't a complete disaster.

I don't know why I care whether or not it's clean for Levi. Maybe Mikasa is right, maybe I do like Levi, I mean, I shouldn't care about the house being clean. I never do for Mikasa or Armin. But am I gay or bi? I've never been against it, but me? I never imagined myself being anything but straight.

I was pulled away from my thoughts when I heard a knock on the door. Already knowing it was Levi I head towards that direction, grabbing the handle. But how did he get here so fast? He doesn't have a car...oh well. He probably doesn't live too far away from me.

As I open the door I'm met with Levi as expected. Our eyes lock for a quick second and once again, that damn feeling is there.

"Are you going to let me in or just stand there like an idiot?" Levi says rudely, but then again, I'm the one staring at him while getting all nervous, which I shouldn't be.

I respond, cursing myself silently for stuttering. "O-oh yeah, sorry. Here come in." I gestured for him to walk in.

As he sat on the couch (after examining it for a minute) he spoke. "So brat, what do you want to do?"

"Well, your the one who wanted to come over. I don't have anything fun to do, which I told you about." I say boredly.

He looks at me with the same blank face I know I'm sending him, and replies "Well then, we can just talk. I mean, I don't know much about you."

"So you want me to just talk about myself?" I asked with a quizitive look plastered to my face. That's a bit weird.

"You can go first then I'll talk about me. Here, I'll start a conversation, where's your dad right now?" He begins.

I thought of an answer while I made my way to the couch, sitting next to him.

"Oh, I guess I haven't told you yet. He works for some business and is always on trips. He doesn't tell me where he's going or how long he'll be gone for or anything. He just leaves. He's not much of a father to me. And...my mom died." I said painfully. I figured I'd tell him about her if we were talking about parents. The thought of her gone still makes me want to cry, I miss her so much.

I try to push away the memories of her when I felt my eyes get watery and my vision blurry.

No, god no. Not in front of Levi. I can't cry. I feel so stupid already.

I try as hard as I can to stop the tears from filling my eyes but as soon as I felt that single tear roll down my cheek I knew there was no stopping it now.

All hope is lost now (this is so dramatic I can't take myself seriously)

He looked at me in utter horror yet sending looks of concern.

"I-im sorry." I said, frantically wiping my eyes, trying to recollect myself.

"Uh, d-don't apologize..." He said in, I'm guessing, the most sincere tone he could manage.

I nodded, then an awkward silence came upon us.

"I'm...sorry about your mom" He said reaching over, touching my hand slightly that was placed on my lap.

The feeling came back once again. Stronger this time though. I feel my cheeks and ears redden almost immediately.

I'm pretty sure he noticed to, as he pulled away looking quite embarrased himself.

"It's ok. Don't feel bad. There's nothing I can do now anyways." I shrugged giving him a sad half smile.

He looked at me sympathetically, a side of levi Ackerman I would never imagine I'd see in my lifetime.

"Hey, don't worry, we're on the same boat here. My mom died too. That's why I don't have a car," I looked at him sadly but confused "Remember how I said it was my fault I let someone borrow my car, and then they crashed it? Well, that person was my mom. She died in the accident." I looked at him with pure sympathy.

I felt genuinely sorry.

"Oh Levi, I'm sorr-" I was harshly cut off from my sentence.

"Oi, brat. Don't feel bad, I'm over it. We weren't close anyways. Me and my parents both...were never close." I looked at him sadly. How could you not be close to your own blood related family?

"How can you not care though? They're your family, and what happend to your dad?" I felt as if I asked to much, dug to deep. But he answered anyway, without hesitation.
"We were never close because they abused me. Mainly my father, but my mom never did anything to stop him. He left us when I was 7. Haven't seen him since." I now wished I would have never asked that question. I felt like it was just...too personal of a subject.

I bowed my head down in shame.

"Oi, brat. What's the matter?"

I looked up at him replying to his question.

"Oh I just feel bad. That was too personal of a question for me to ask. I'm sorry."

He looked at me then chuckled; without a smile. "I don't care, honestly. I've gotten over it. Of course at first I was upset, but it doesn't faze me anymore."

A wave of relief washed over me immediately.

"Thank goodness. I mean, as in thank god you don't mind because I really felt bad asking such a thing."

"You didn't know I was gonna say that though. It's fine. Don't sweat it." I was relieved even more as the words came out of his mouth.

"Ok." I said as I smiled to him, leaving the sad topics alone.

Levi glanced at the clock on my DVD player and spoke. "Well, it's getting late. I should get headed home."

I felt a little sad that he was leaving already. I mean, it is late.

"Ok. Wait! You don't have a car, do you want me to drive you?" I asked. If he was going to leave, I wasn't going to let him walk.

"Uh, sure. If it's not an issue for you."

I shook my head and we got up, heading out the door, me locking it behind.

We got into the car and I followed the directions he gave me to get to his house.

As we reached the destination I found that it wasn't a house, yet an apartment.

"You live in an apartment?!" I said in shock.

"Well yeah. What do you expect when I'm a high schooler without any parents? Gotta live somewhere cheap."

I felt a pain of guilt because I was bringing the subject up again.

I nodded, avoiding any more questions and he hopped out of the car, mumbling a goodbye. Before I could say another word, he shut the door.

And with that I left, heading home.
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