dive into you | jongsang (✓)

- thirty seven -

a few weeks had passed since jongho had asked yeosang to go on a date, and finally, the day had come.

after the arguments that had happened and yeosang's panic attack, san had suggested that jongho stay with yeosang until the two were ready to come back to san's apartment. jongho had agreed, still doing his best to talk to san daily and check in on him, knowing that the two still needed to support each other. yeosang felt bad for being in the way no matter how much the two insisted he wasn't, and he especially felt bad knowing that it was his fault that they weren't staying at san's anymore. wooyoung needed space from the two and san wanted to respect that.

"yeo, my love... are you going to be okay on your own for a few hours? i was thinking of going over to san's to get ready for our date since woo's with his family today."

as badly as yeosang wanted to say no, which was the truth, he couldn't bring himself to do so. he felt too guilty for causing everything that had kept the cousins apart to admit the truth. so, he nodded, smiling small and kissing jongho's cheek. jongho still felt unsure about going, but he knew if he tried to change his mind, yeosang would still push him to go.

"you're sure?"

yeosang nodded again, mumbling a soft noise to tell the boy yes.

"alright... i'll go in a little while, okay? for now i just want to cuddle."

yeosang let out a soft giggle, nodding and pulling jongho upstairs to his room, then jumping on the bed. jongho laughed at yeosang's eagerness and laid beside him, pulling the boy into his arms.

"are you excited for our date?" he asked softly.

yeosang nodded, beginning to play with the strings of jongho's hoodie.

"good... i'm glad. can you promise me something?"

"hm?"

"when i go to san's... call me if you need anything?"

yeosang froze, knowing he would need jongho. being left alone meant being left with his thoughts there to overwhelm him.

"yeo... promise?"

"i-i—"

"it's okay if you don't want me to go, yeo. i understand..."

"n-no... i-i—" yeosang started, his voice getting caught in his throat as he went to protest.

he frantically turned over and grabbed his phone, quickly typing a response to jongho's statement.

please go. i want you to have time with san. don't worry about me.

"yeo... i can't help it. you mean too much to me for me to not worry about you. just promise me you'll call or even just text if you need me..."

i don't want you to have to leave because of me.

"it's my choice, yeo. and i choose to."

but you haven't gotten to see san much since we stopped staying at his place...

"i know... but he understands that i want to be there if you need me. he understands it better than most do."

you're sure he won't be upset?

"absolutely... you know... i blame myself for the accident. i've tried to avoid telling you that, but it's the truth."

but why?

"i rushed san to drive me to you. i was so desperate to be by your side that both of us got put in harm's way."

but it was for me... doesn't that make it my fault?